The (Creative) Demise of Wayne Hagin

[Fman99]

Now, let's put karma aside. Just for a second, hypothetically speaking.

What's the most interesting, unique and/or inventive way you can think of to ensure that Wayne Hagin isn't on the air (as well as satellite radio, where he haunts me 300 miles from Citi Field) butchering routine calls and applying his own unique brand of hacky shittasticness to Mets announcing in 2012?

My first idea was to launch him into space like the Russian dog Laika, the first living being from Earth to travel in space. For those of you who didn't know, Russian scientists had no way to bring Laika back safely, yet launch her into space on Sputnik 2 ("Electric Boogaloo") they did in November of 1957. She died within days, or perhaps even hours, and then orbited the Earth, a sad Russian canine corpse, until the conclusion of her flight five months later.

I like the idea of Wayne, orbiting the Earth, recollecting interesting facts about Colorado Rockies players and sharing them with no one in particular, until his air cuts off and then, blessed space silence.

What do you have in mind?

[stevejrogers]

I'd much rather have a thread like this dedicated to fictional characters

[MFS62]

I'll stay with the classics:
Draw and quarter.
Then tar and feather the pieces.

OE: That sounds too extreme. Howz about:
Lock him in a warm, humid room and pipe in a constant loop of Tiny Tim singing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips".
It will turn him into a mindless bowl of babbling silly putty.
Of course, it would be hard to tell the difference.

Later