KTE Marlins @ Mets 4/5, 7&8

[ashie62]

The Florida Marlins swim into Citifield to open the Mets championship 2010 season. What is a Marlin? It is often referred to as a Billfish and is a Blue Spotted Tuna with a snout that can grow up towards 1800 pounds. It is fitting that the lastest attempt to bag the largest Marlin for the Guiness Book of World Records was by Manny Puig of televisions Jackass.

Bulletin Board Material: Tim Kurjian on the Marlins this upcoming season; "Never underestimate the Marlins. Despite having the lowest payroll in baseball the last two seasons they won at least 84 games per year. The fish will win 85 games and they wont finish behind the rebuilding Nationals or the aimless Mets. Thank you Tim, now go fuck yourself.

In a 100 round simulation of the 2010 season by ESPN the Magazine the Marlins are projected to finish last.

Blowfish; Met hating Hanley Ramirez & life hating Menace2Society Cody Ross.

The last four comments on the "Hanley Ramirez sucks forum" are.

1. Hanley Ramirez sucks my penis
2. Hanley Blows
3. The2hottestchicksonUstream. I'm not adding the link but they were hotter than anything a Marlin has to offer.
4. As long as he plays ball I dont care who he screws and if he screws you and doesn't call thats your problem.

Of Late:

Cody Ross has been questionable for opening day but has decided to make himself a target for the Met faithful tomorrow. The Marlins acquired Nate Robertson from the Tigers and have installed him as their #5 starter over Andrew Miller.

The Marlins are managed by Fred Gonzalez and the roster shapes up as follows

LF Reigning ROY Chris Coughlan
CF Prospect and now solid suspect Cameron Maybin
SS Hanley Ramirez
3B Jorge Cantdo
2B Dan " I used to be a ballplayer" Uggla
RF Cody Ross
1B Desperate Housewives star Gaby Sanchez
C John Baker

Reserves of note, none

SP Josh Johnson, Ricky Nolasco, Chris Volstad, Anibal Sanchez & Nate Robertson.
The closer is someone named Leo Nunez and will be setup by Dan Oscar Meyer.

The suckitude of the Marlin gives me great kahnfidence that the Mets will take this series and sweep the fish into a nearby toilet.

Breakout the harpoons!

[MFS62]

Good first KTE of the season.
Just wondering - is that guy going for the record any relation to Rich Puig?

Later

[bmfc1]

The first KTE of the season has set a standard for references to oral sex and fornication.

[G-Fafif]

Know That Enemy fish were taking the field after the Mets left this afternoon. Apparently this day-before workout is for the visitors, too.

Seeing them brought back horrid memories of 9/28/08 when the Fish refused to disperse from Shea's sacred soil. With that in mind, I was sure to remind them that YOU SUCK MARLINS!

We all need a workout the day before the season starts.

[Fman99]

Succinct and vulgar. I approve.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

To the point.

And that point looks a lot like a glans penis.

[metirish]

Nice work you bollox.....

and really , Tim Kurjian , really do go fuck yourself.

[MFS62]

Succinct and vulgar. I approve.[/quote:2vprtqgq]
Yes. A brief, and accurate, description.

Later

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Good job, Ashie. Thanks for the info.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Nice, I'm fired up.

[Frayed Knot]

What is a Marlin? It is often referred to as a Billfish and is a Blue Spotted Tuna with a snout that can grow up towards 1800 pounds.

That would be one big, fucking snout!

[ashie62]

What is a Marlin? It is often referred to as a Billfish and is a Blue Spotted Tuna with a snout that can grow up towards 1800 pounds.

That would be one big, fucking snout!

[Gwreck]

Marlins changed their rotation around as well, matchups now are:

Mon: Santana v. Josh Johnson
Wed: Maine v. Ricky Nolasco
Thu: Niese v. Nate Robertson

[Guest Edgy DC]

Ricky Nolasco has been damned near untouchable this spring, giving up 17 hits and one walk in in 25 exhibition innings, with 21 strikeouts. That would have been a tough draw for Niese.

Tough draw for anybody, of course. Hopefully we get one of those dis-spiriting and frigid game twos and he gets bolluxed up.

[Gwreck]

I believe Nolasco was always slated for game #2; it was Anibal Sanchez who Nate Robertson is changing places with.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Yeah, I'm just saying in general.