David Wright's Internet Chat

[Elster88]

Forgive me if this has been posted somewhere else. Mets.com is hosting an interactive chat with Wright at 2:30 today.

http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/fan_forum/chat/index.jsp

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

I can't make it, but if any of yous can, ask if he prefers his scheaffer in cans or bottles and congratulate him fon behalf of the cpf for his poty honors.

[Guest abogdan]

He'll be on the Fan with Joe B in a couple of minutes.

[Guest abogdan]

D'oh! Joe's interviewing Jaret Wright.

[G-Fafif]

Things David Wright likes, according to his just-completed mets.com chat:

His puppy Homer
Virginia Tech football
Cliff Floyd
Willie Randolph
Jay Horwitz
Sleep
Not having to face Billy Wagner
Fastballs down the middle
Howard Johnson
Hearing "Let's Go Mets" at Yankee Stadium
The chance to play at Fenway in 2006
Being a Met as long as they want him
Not having himself on a fantasy team so he can win
Representing the USA
Uniform No. 4 but it was taken by the third-base coach
Mixing up his AB music
3-2, two out, runner on third, ninth inning
Traveling
Texas over USC in the Rose Bowl
The black home unis
Spending time with his family
Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria: "I'm not picky"

In other news, he picked the Mets to finish first; thinks Cliff sticks bricks or dumbbells in his luggage; is called D-Wright, D-Dubs and Rook by his teammate; and remembers playing for the Little League Green Run Padres like it was yesterday

Let's just say it wasn't Zabriskie @ CPF.

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

The black home unis

You suck!

[Theoldmole]

What's AB music?

[Elster88]

We young kids like the black unis.

[Elster88]

At-bat music.

[Willets Point]

"At Bat" as in the timeless question: "What song do they play when Mike Piazza is at bat?????"

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Elster88 wrote: We young kids like the black unis.

Young kids suck!

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

I like the black unis. And I'm old, slow and white.

[Frayed Knot]

I think declaring yourself in favor of raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens is slightly more controversial than the stuff Wright listed.
He's got a brother at Va Tech - explaining his football team of choice.

[G-Fafif]

Frayed Knot wrote: I think declaring yourself in favor of raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens is slightly more controversial than the stuff Wright listed. He's got a brother at Va Tech - explaining his football team of choice.

He's totally rooting for the Hokies in whichever bowl they're playing in.

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

White people suck!

[G-Fafif]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: White people suck!

First young kids, then white people. As long as you're not expecting any young, white kids/people to enter your life anytime in the foreseeable future, you should be fine.

[Elster88]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: White people suck!

Can I get a ruling on whether or not this is funny? I was expecting it, but comedy doesn't work that way. [/sarcastic snide remark]

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

It's funny because of the avatar that goes along with the statement.

Seriously - can you picture a whiter person?

[Centerfield]

G-Fafif wrote: ="Johnny Dickshot"]White people suck! First young kids, then white people. As long as you're not expecting any young, white kids/people to enter your life anytime in the foreseeable future, you should be fine.

I'm pretty sure he's expecting at least one...

[Guest Edgy DC]

]Can I get a ruling on whether or not this is funny?

If it was funny to you...

[Willets Point]

This forum is turning into a police state.

[soupcan]

soupcan likes:

His dog Mookie
Virginia Tech coeds
Floyd the barber
Bobby Valentine
Jay Jay the Jet Plane
Sleep
Not having to listen to Wagner
Meatballs on his spaghetti
Friendly's
Hearing "Let's Go Mets" at Yankee Stadium
The chance to root for the Mets at Fenway in 2006
Being a Met fan as long as they want him
Not playing fantasy basbeall
Misrepresenting the USA
Uniform No. 16 until Doc Gooden ruined it
Organs in lieu of AB music
3-2, two out, runner on third, ninth inning
Traveling
USC over Texas in the Rose Bowl (by a lot)
The classic white pin-striped unis
Spending time with his family
Jessica Simpson ("I am picky")

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Official ruling: Not funny.

However, upon further review, officials ruled that, as a blood descendent of the original response joke in the thread, which itself was ruled funny, the penalty was offset by a baiting violation by the straight men. Repeat first down.

[G-Fafif]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: Official ruling: Not funny. However, upon further review, officials ruled that, as a blood descendent of the original response joke in the thread, which itself was ruled funny, the penalty was offset by a baiting violation by the straight men. Repeat first down.

Five yards for a football metaphor on a baseball board. First and fifteen.

I mean one and oh.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I'd invoke the rule of three.

You use an unexpected punchline --- funny!

You repeat it in response to a somewhat different setup --- funny! Less funny, but funny! Points for adjusting!

You use it a third time --- still less funny, but funny in a new different way in that it should be appreciated how you can maintain a pattern as the setup recontextualizes it.

Third time usually gets as much applause ("Good show, mate!") as laughter, and, in a way indicates closure.

Fourth usage of a punchline is by then so expected and so unfunny as to subtract from the impact of the prior three. Big faux pas.

[Elster88]

Willets Point wrote: This forum is turning into a police state.

I'm just busting balls. I don't mean anything by it.

[Willets Point]

And since when have I ever meant anything about anything?

[Zvon]

Elster88 wrote: ="Johnny Dickshot"]White people suck! Can I get a ruling on whether or not this is funny? I was expecting it, but comedy doesn't work that way. [/sarcastic snide remark]

Coming from Mr Dickshot, this is funny.
Classic comedy, actually.


Zvon likes:

Homer Simpson
Eagles football
Pink Floyd
Randolph the red nosed raindeer
Mitzi Horwitz (grade 8)
Sleep medication (then staying up on it)
Not having to hear from Billy Wagner's wife ala Benson
Slow, fat, fastballs down the middle to any Met batter
Howard Johnson Restaurants (any still exist?)
Hearing "Let's Go Mets" at Yankee Stadium and at ballgames in Philly
That Fenway still exists in 2006
Bleeding a strange mix of blue and orange for as long as a wound goes unbandaged
Wish he could have himself on a fantasy team. My fantasy goes unfullfilled
Representing the USA
Uniform No. 5 was 3rd baseman Brooks Robinson's so wear it with pride, David
Mixing up Tequila, orange juice and grenadine
3-2, two out, runner on third, ninth inning, David Wright up
Traveling Willburys
Football finally deciding that the rules should never again be changed
The classic pin striped home uni's (and NOT with the line under Mets...remember that in the early 90s?...*Z hurls*)
Family Fued
Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria: "I'm not picky"Wishes he had the balls to go for both ^ like David Wright

[Zvon]

Elster88 wrote: Everyone is missing the reference. To make a short story long: My line had nothing to do with JD's use of the same joke three times. This was me being jocular b/c earlier today I made a joke about Anna Benson and the BJ Bunch and I was told (in what I think was a lighthearted way) that since the joke was obvious it wasn't funny. So I was trying to joke around here, saying "I expected JD to say that, so is it funny or not". Of course, since I never post anything clearly this actually got everyone debating whether it's funny. But I don't really need people to explain this to me. I get it, I promise.

lol.
Now, that does make your post funny too.

JD was using variations on a theme.
It wasnt that what he said surprised me.
It was that he said something using only 3 words.
lol.

[Elster88]

LOL...I deleted out that post, thinking it was kind of pointless. Zvon got to it first.