dinosaur jesus

We're changing history, is what's happening. Time and space, fiction and reality are fighting it out on this thread like overweight tag team wrestlers. I put Jeff in a photo with Pancho Villa a while ago, eating tortilla chips or something. But that was pointless, because they had already met, in an alternate reality that is now our reality. Pancho Villa, Emiliano Zapata . . . and Jeff Wilpon, Mexico City, 1914. Kind of looks like the inspiration for the Sergeant Pepper cover, doesn't it? I think James Joyce is there too, without his glasses.

Mr. Entertainment.

I've had dreams like this. They're not nice dreams.

"Pain! Pain! Pain! Waves of searing pain!" I doubt there's anyone anywhere who's enjoying this game. New York, Miami, wherever. Couldn't they just call it on account of awfulness?

You know, if this game was in important one, like on the last day of the season for all the marbles, it would go down as a classic. Clutch pitching, a late run to tie it, suspense all the way through. So why does it seem like one of the most depressing games I've ever seen? This is just painful. At least Gary and Keith are having a good time.

Holy crap. That's beautiful work. I'm only sorry you had to lose the dame from Newark.

Zvon wrote: Beers on me Hawkins! Is that pirate language? I've got beers on me Hawkins, and I'm fair scuppered, lads. It's time to hoist the white flag.

Could we just fly in the whole Las Vegas pitching staff tomorrow and send the guys we have home? Jesus.

Zvon wrote: I know what you mean but don't look at it like your goin thru hell. Its fun. Sure the end result is fun, but part of the fun is how you can explore (sometimes stumble) your way to interesting and amazing results if you really use a program coupled with your brain to its combined potential. I read what you say there and I don't see you going through hell. I see you exploring the possibilities. I always run shit thru filters and check out how it looks. And every once in a while I'll come across a new way to do something, or I'll try an effect that I would normally never consider and the result is amazin. Love when that happens. Of course it's fun. It can be exasperating too, and frustrating, and with a difficult one like that it gets to a point where I wonder how long exactly it's supposed to take to stick Jeff Wilpon's silly head in a silly picture, and what the hell's become of my life. And only the fact that this is silly saves me, because it means there's no pressure, no one will know or care if I just toss it, but if it works out, great, because someone might enjoy it. And that makes it fun again. And yeah, I've learned something about the process too., and surprised myself sometimes. You know, when I first started playing with Photoshop, about fifteen years ago, it was my own face, of course, that I stuck everywhere (and my girlfriend's; she got to be Eve in the Garden, with glasses). That was fun too. Now here's Jeff channeling the feelings of Met fans everywhere on the signing of Frankie Rodriguez. I think Jeff has moments, microsecond-long spasms, where the true horrendousness of things hits him--who am I, what am I doing here, will I have money for food tomorrow, why did I have to wear these socks?--and then he collects himself again and he's the smiling sophisticate we all love. Jeff, I'm here for you.

Laffable.

Frayed Knot wrote: Cosell seemed to tell a bunch of funeral stories ... particularly ones that just happened to place himself either at or near the center of the action. Did I ever tell the one about me, Ali, and Don Meredith at Cosell's funeral? I'll just say that I'm making damn sure I don't have an open casket at mine.

Zvon wrote: Explain how you did that "Boris" Jeff head. That's just beautifully done. It was hell. Just a desperate combination of trying out layer options (Multiply? Overlay? Hard Light?), playing with color balance, using the Smudge tool to make it look less pixellated, and the Sharpen tool to try to simulate the digital corruption in the original. I found that the best way to add shading was to select an area, take the brightness way down, and smudge it to blend it in. I'd figured out some things by the time I did the guard in the back, which I think came out better. So who is Jeff helping to bury?

Midnight at the Hyundai Club.

Mets � Willets Point wrote: R.A. Dickey speaks in an interview with Jian Ghomeshi on CBC Radio. Some of you (okay, really just Swan Swan H) will remember Ghomeshi from the Toronto-based band Moxy Fr�vous. I remember Moxy Fr�vous. God, they were annoying. I saw them in 1992, opening for Bob Dylan. Aren't we cute? Aren't we witty? Don't you just love us? And then Bob's mike was turned off the entire show, and no one seemed to care. Not one of my better concert experiences.

Plus they say she slept with Buck Weaver, which she admits but says Hambone is okay with it, not to mention that John Cusack played him in the movie, and who doesn't like John Cusack?

The high life. Partying with William Randolph Hearst.

Where'd you get that pic of Felix? Im having a hard time finding a decent selection of Felix heads. Also, did you add that body to the head or did it come with it? And my last shopquery is : On the Jeff/Stones Urinal Job, did you add the grain effect to Jeffs head or add it uniformly throughout the image? The head is from the Felix Millan Little League site, here: http://www.eteamz.com/felixmillanlittleleague/news/ There's also a nice picture there of Felix with his family at spring training. The body is Robert Redford from The Sting. I couldn't find any other pictures of someone playing poker and facing the right direction, and this one only seems to exist in black and white, so I had to color it in. That's kind of the definition of borderline obsessive right there. And I applied the grain just to Jeffy's head, to match the grain in the picture. It's "film grain," to be exact. I made a duplicate layer, applied the grain, then reduced the transparency of that layer to tone the grain down a bit. The hardest part was actually matching the tinting of the original. It would have been a lot easier if I'd desaturated the original and re-tinted the whole thing at the end. How are you getting drawing effects like Felix in the boat? Using filters in the program and tweaking those, or doing any drawing of your own?

Edgy MD wrote: That's not history! It must have been close to forty years ago. That seems like history to me. Do we want a Felix in History thread, or should we let the Felix thing die a natural death here?

I'm sure there's a story behind this.

True fact: Felix Millan was Hyderabad mixed doubles champion two years running--by himself! He said the secret was acknowledging his feminine side, and letting it cover the baseline. And speaking of mixed doubles:

Interesting tutorial. The feathered cutouts and the push brush are new to me. I think I would have tried to combine the Viking's Klingonish forehead with Jeffy's face, and gotten stuck on matching the skin tone and texture. Using someone else might be fun. Who, though? Jeff Wilpon is the perfect stooge--he looks stupidly out of place anywhere, including, of course, Mets board meetings. How about the opposite, someone who always looks like he belongs? Like Felix Millan. You couldn't throw Felix Millan. (Except on his head, of course, like Ed Ott.) Here's Felix negotiating the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk.

Edgy MD wrote: It struck me that Tuesday's doubleheader must've been like old-timey baseball --- with volatile defense and the pitcher highly disadvantaged relative to the batter. Burke would have fit right in, tossing it up there underhand until the batter got one he liked.