The Cubs sit in fifth place in baseball's only six-team division, 7.0 games behind the rival Cardinals. Their catcher (who I now see is injured) is Geovany Soto, of the baseball hotbed that is Rio Piedras, Puerto Rico, which gave the world Angel Pagan, Rey Sanchez, Ruben Gotay, and Jose Oquendo, among dozens of others. Geovany came on like a dream, peaches and cream, in his all-star rookie season of 2008, stunk in 2009, was very good again last year, and stinks again this year. Catching is hard. One year, your the outstanding rookie in the league; the next, you stink like day-old fish. He bats right, throws right, and his name seems to be a phonetic spelling of the Italian Giovanni, an equivelant of John. He was a yawner of a minor-league prospect until one year he found Heaven in Iowa and hit .353 with 35 homers. Suspicious much? Maybe. His stinky 2009 was also notable as he missed out on catching in the World Baseball Classic after testing postive for marijuana. Do the biggies test for mj, or is that just a WBC thing? Because I imagine those who don't smoke sense in the bigs are in the minority, and have it soaked into their skin from being around those who do. He's sort of like a Puerto Rican Mike Piazza in that he's manly enough to be able to grow facial hair in a few hours... ...but when he tries to keep it under control, it kind of comes out as effeminate. You may notice from that shot that he's done some eyebrow shaping too. Finally, he's been know to carry a man-purse. (It's a Coach, for all you bagwatchers out there. Hey, bitches!!) Geovany likes to cook and if he had a superpower, it would be to control minds. He has a wife, but I can't find her. Presumably she's into that eybrow thing. He has three homers and 12 ribbies. He's backed up by Koyie Hill, who is hitting even worsely. Koyie is a switch hitter, however, which is a cool thing for a catcher to be. He can also play some outfield and third base in a pinch, so he's an asset to a roster, if not to a lineup. his wife is named Meghan and like Soto, he has two daughters. He's real popular with the chicks. Who's on first?