Hey, I'm Josh Smoker, and once upon a time I was Alfonso Soriano, sort of. I mean, I was a big-time compensation pick by the Nats when Soriano got signed away by the Cubs. But it didn't work out for me with the Nats, and frankly, I hated it. I DESPISED it. Toiling in the low minors in a crooked outfit like that. I confess, they didn't like me too much either, and I ended up in indy ball. And fuck it, I let it fly. I'm a lefty with high nineties heat, and those mopes couldn't touch my shit. So I'm back in affiliated ball. I played at three levels with the Mets last season, struck out 11 dudes per nine innings, and the Mets wondered what they needed to send defenders out there at all for, and they PUT ME ON A BIG LEAGUE ROSTER. That's right, I'm on the 40. I'm toiling for the 51s, working on my off-speed stuff, and while I got Bastardo and Blevins over my head, the Leathersiches of the world are thinning out, and you can call me Elton because I'm still standing. The world isn't going to wait forever for me to start my big league career, so I'm down here in Vegas pressing my case as hard as I can. I've got a badass closer name, I've got a bug-eyed girl who drives me wild, and I've got Jon Niese's old number. Things are looking up, but how are they going to play out? You be the judge. [fimg=545:28oli4fx]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CbrWp_7W4AALG71.jpg[/fimg:28oli4fx] [fimg=255:28oli4fx]http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/northwestgeorgianews.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/9/be/9bec202e-dc06-11e5-b289-af4d71345c5f/56cf7206d5511.image.jpg?resize=300%2C400[/fimg:28oli4fx] [fimg=337:28oli4fx]https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/662397067843780608/tFi0NYwV.jpg[/fimg:28oli4fx] [fimg=463:28oli4fx]http://thebronxchronicle.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/55c3c6249112e.image_.jpg[/fimg:28oli4fx]