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Meet the Cardinals. And fuck them.


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Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket
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Posted (edited)


Screw them, but the St. Louis Cardinals arrive in town for a three-game series beginning tonight. This is our first meeting with them all year and it comes as both clubs appear to be fighting for a Wild Card spot.

St. Loo is 52-46; we're 52-45. They're 7.5 games in bback of Chicago in the Central; we're 5 behind Washington (5.5 net games with Miami still in second).

The Cardinals as always are dangerous and hate-able and what counts for "bad luck" for them this time is their pythagorean underperformance (six games, which would put them only 1.5 back of Chicago). So they can score and prevent runs, though fans of theirs might tell you the discrepancy is about poor defense and a propensity to beat up mediocre pitching and struggle against the others.

We get their "fifth starter" tonight, Carlos Martinez, against Synderella. RHP Martinez is 9-6, 2.83 and leading the team in most starter categories. All the same I barely have any idea who the hell he really is, 24 years old, and did it last year too, so I guess he's 4 real. He hasn’t allowed more than three runs in a start since May 25, in part because he's hard to homer off, but not a big whiff-man.

On Tuesday (come say hi) it's Colon vs. lefty Jamie Garcia (7-6, 3.68, having a bit of a inconsistent season).

Wednesday's finale is Verrett (keep it going, man) against old fuckstick foe, Adam Wainwright (9-5, 4.09) who's finally pitching well after a crappy start.

Our offensive work is cut out for us, guys.

The lineup is a bit banged-up and won't be better before these douches leave town, with Matt Carpenter, Peralta, Moss and reserve C Brayan Pena on the DL. Slugging reserve [crossout:23m7c9pu]Russ[/crossout:23m7c9pu] Matt Adams has been filling in at 1st and Jedd Jerkoff has been at third in place of Carpenter.

As usual they have a bunch of middling guys who can hit otherwise. Holliday, Grichuck and Piscotty in the outfield all rake; Molina (FUCK him) is the catcher. Kolten Wong, who was supposed to be good but isn't, is the second baseman and rookie Almedys Diaz was like their 5th choice at SS, of course is great (13 HRs, OPS+ 140). Not a terrific fielder, nor Grichuck in CF.

Rosenthal pitched his way out of the closer's role so naturally a low-money gamble on a Korean-League veteran turns out to be a great closer. Let's hope not to see Seung-hwan Oh "The Final Boss" who you can read about here: http://www.stltoday.com/sports/baseball/professional/goold-one-throw-in-korea-started-oh-on-long-journey/article_d0196907-2be8-5997-864b-b6df82ea6aaa.html X-Met farmhand Matt Bowman is also hanging around the pen. They've already moved on from Ruben Tejada.

Fuck them, but please add more.


Edited by Guest
Posted


The schedule and other circumstances give us a bit of an edge here; they won in 16 innings on Friday then had to play the ESPN night game last night and got their asses kicked in a game that lasted nearly four hours in 100 degree weather. So my guess is that they landed at LaGuardia about 10 minutes ago all hot, tired, pissed-off, drunk, and with their pitching staff wrung out.

Expect a move or two to be made prior to game time. They started rookie Mike Mayers last night (the first game this season using someone other than their top five starters), and the TV crew made a big deal about showing his mom & pop & sis in the stands for his ML debut. Well after the fourth ML hitter he faced (A. Gonzalez) hit a Grand Slam and he finally walked off after the top of the 1st down 6-0, let's just say there weren't a lot of smiles in the family section. Second inning wasn't much better, final line: 9 earned on 8 hits plus 2 BBs in 1.1 IP
I think it's safe to say they're going to send him down and refresh the pen in advance of this series.


Rosenthal, the ex-closer mentioned above, was even used in mop-up duty during last night's debacle. Somehow he was charged with no runs despite a line of 2 hits plus 3 walks in one inning of pitching. And then Matheny even went to new closer Oh in the 9th (Cards had fought back to only training 9-6) and he wound up throwing 27 pitches in one inning of work.



I think it's safe to say that Matt Holliday turned out to be a better signing than Jason Bay.


Posted


I think it's Matt Adams, not Russ Adams, playing 1B most days.

Also, meeting someone and then immediately fucking them is a fine, fine set of circumstances.


Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket
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Posted


Thanks!

SHaMs need to win serieses.


Guest d'Kong76
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Posted


OTP says the Cards landed at 6am, coffee and greenies for everyone!


Guest d'Kong76
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Posted


Lame postponement, humid thunderboomers not expected to last.


Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket
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Posted


Weird. It had already stopped raining when they called it. That said there was a LOT of rain between 5 and 7. Bad day to forget your umbrella at home, believe me.


Posted


John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote:
Weird. It had already stopped raining when they called it. That said there was a LOT of rain between 5 and 7. Bad day to forget your umbrella at home, believe me.


Our adult kickball game got rained out yesterday too. And it was sunny by game time -- but I assume our fields were a swamp.


  • 4 weeks later...
Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket
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Posted (edited)


*


Edited by Guest
Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket
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Posted


So since the above series began with Mets and Cardinals in a virtual tie, were now 500 and they're 9 games over.

I will be at Tuesday's game and have been here in St.,Loo since Saturday. Weather is very nice, unusually dry and cool for this time of year. Our hotel is right next to the park.

Tuesday is Beatles Night, marking 50th anniversary of the Busch Stadium concert. I have just the thing to wear. pregame Beatles tribute band.

Shame that our probable pitchers are Niese dG and TBD facing Garcia, Martinez and Wainwright.


Posted


The Cards have as many injuries as anyone but, as usual, don't seem to lose a step when that happens as someone comes off the bench (or sometimes, it seems, out of the stands) to ably fill-in if not surpass what the missing player was doing.

- 1B Matt Adams is out (shoulder) so ex-Red Sock/Pirate/Athletic/Indian Brandon Moss shows up (July '15 pickup) and has 23 HRs in 290 ABs!! He's 32 and in his 10th ML season and only once did he top that in a full year.

- SS Almedys Diaz broke his thumb on a HBP. He was already like their 4th choice as the season started so naturally he had 42 XBH and made the AS team in his rookie half-season.
Greg Garcia [.238/.352/.338] is the current SS.

- LF Matt Holliday is on holiday for his thumb fracture. A combo of guys are filling in there, including Moss and Jeremy Hazelbaker (he even sounds like a Cardinal). He's the 28 y/o career minor leaguer who was hitting nothing but XBHs during his first few weeks in the majors back in April. He's calmed down (and been sent down) since, but still has 11 HRs in just 170 ABs so yaneverknow.

- also filling-in all over the place and also HR-ing a rates never before seen is Jedd Gyorko. The ex-Padre, like Brandon Moss, has 20 HRs in part-time duty (272 ABs)
Not surprisingly, this team leads the NL in HRs by having nine different guys in double digits including four who have less than 300 ABs (and Tommy Pham has 9 in 129)

Also out are pitchers Lance Lynn, Michael Wacha, closer Trevor Rosenthal, and a handful of lesser arms.
Neither Rosenthal nor Wacha were having good years anyway so those losses probably helped more than they hurt. Sueng-Hwan 'The Final Boss' Oh is closing to the tune of 39 hits & 86 Ks in 64 innings


Posted


I assume, based on all their puffed up stats, that the whole team is juicing. Because, also, it goes along with the "fuck them" school of thought nicely.


Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket
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Posted


Heres a thing. they have the very same style of commemorative bricks that citi does, only because the sidewal is narrower here, the center Squares are smaller and more numerous. so you are likely to see squares honoring "Denny Walling goes 2-for-3" and like that.


Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr
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Posted


Toldja we shoulda signed that Final Boss fella.


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