so i just got a call from CitiField...

[Vic Sage]

...well, not from the field, but from a nice young lady in their sales office trying to sell my organization on CitiField as an event space or outing for our organization. Normally, i just hang up on sales calls, but this one was just too ripe with opportunity. My unfortunate condition as a lifelong Mets fan came up for discussion (i likened it to a hereditary genetic disorder), and i blamed her personally for 45 years of pain, interrupted by brief outbursts of joy. She said she'd only just started there 3 weeks ago, but i insisted on blaming her personally, since she was the one that called me. We were both chuckling, and then she wanted to know about my own personal ticket buying history. I informed here that i used to share a season plan, then became a buyer of 6-packs or other smaller packages, then the occasional single game when my kids were interested, but now, not so much... particularly the last few years when her employers were running the franchise into the ground. In fact, if they ever wanted to run their organization like a big-market team again, they should let me know! "oh, i'll pass that message right along" she laughed.

But even after my obnoxious behavior and the unlikelihood of an organization like mine ever using them for an event, she invited me to a special VIP tour! So, i said "sure, what the hell." And here's the email she just sent me to confirm (I edited it to protect anonymity):

Hi [Vic],

It was so wonderful speaking with you today! I am thrilled that you, [little miss Vic and Vic Jr] are going to be coming down for an exclusive, behind the scenes VIP tour on Friday, July 11th at 10:00AM where we will be able to look at all of our seating options for the rest of the 2014 season.

Upon arrival at Citi Field, proceed to the Administration Building entrance on 126th Street, opposite 36th/37th Avenues, and check in at the security desk to receive a Visitor's Pass (you will need photo ID). They will send you up to the third level where I will meet you in the lobby and we�ll proceed out to the field.

For all driving and/or public transportation directions, go to http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/nym/ballpark/transportation/index.jsp. You may park in Lot G located on the north side of the stadium, nearest to the Grand Central and Cross Island Parkways.

I�m looking forward to meeting you, [Vic]! If you have any questions before we meet, please don�t hesitate to reach out by emailing me, or calling me on my direct line below. I�ll give you a call next Tuesday to confirm.

Best,
{NAME REMOVED}


So, has anybody ever done one of these "VIP tours"? What should i expect? Is there any swag? a stop at Shake Shack without a line!? I need some good ammo to talk my kids into going with me.

[seawolf17]

Neat. I'll pretend to be your kid if they don't want to go.

[Edgy MD]

{NAME REMOVED} is my new favorite Met employee.

[Ceetar]

wait, cross island parkway? no.. North side of the..no..Lot G is south side, nearer Roosevelt avenue..

36/37th avenue? no, I think that's McFaddens. [crossout:17tyj3a9]37th/38th most likely, I assume it's the "Metropolitan Hospitality" entrance.[/crossout:17tyj3a9] It's literally like she's looking at an inverted Citi Field.

Actually it does look like there is a swirly door entrance between McFaddens and the Center Field gate. I'd ask her to verify which parking lot. G is the south side 'official' lot where the media parks. A is the northside lot where employees park.

It's too early for Shake Shack and the players will be (almost) there so I doubt you'll get any clubhouse treatment. You'll probably wander onto the field/warning track, and then trek up to various seating locations? Almost definitely will include a walk through of some of the various clubs.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Those people in the ticket office are pretty slick, I
can only imagine some of the stuff people have said
to her in her three years there.

I'd like to see the broadcast booths and some of the behind
the scenes media-type stuff but I suppose a lot of it is
in that glass enclosed room you actually can see already.

[Edgy MD]

Hey man, she's only been there three weeks.

[Guest d'Kong76]

I don't believe her! I've been through all this many times
with them and Jets too ... liars all of them!

[Guest themetfairy]

It probably feels like three years to her....

[Guest d'Kong76]

I hope they're paying her. If she's only been there three
weeks she may be a college intern ... they're big on free labor!

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

According to a popular professional social media site {NAME REMOVED}'s been at the job for 2 months, and has worked up from a similar position with the Durham Bulls. Hi, {NAME REMOVED}!


{IMAGE REMOVED}

[Edgy MD]

No, she's totally on staff {LINK REMOVED}. Fresh-faced and fresh out of school.

(Beaten to the punch, here's the photo I was workin' with.)

{PHOTO REMOVED}

[Guest d'Kong76]

Looks happy enough, must be old pics.

[seawolf17]

Now I'm DEFINITELY available to be Vic's fake son.

[Vic Sage]

she looks EXACTLY like she sounds.
cute as a button.

But no clubhouse tour? Phooey. i better get some swag at least.

[Vic Sage]

seawolf17 wrote: Now I'm DEFINITELY available to be Vic's fake son.

what do i do with my real son?

[seawolf17]

Vic Sage wrote: seawolf17 wrote: Now I'm DEFINITELY available to be Vic's fake son. what do i do with my real son?

{NAME REMOVED} and I will invite him to the wedding.

[Ceetar]

I'd like to see the broadcast booths and some of the behind the scenes media-type stuff but I suppose a lot of it is in that glass enclosed room you actually can see already.

this is what the standard tour includes:
Clubhouse
Field and Dugout
Productions Area (scoreboard control room)
Press Box
Suite Levels (Sterling and Empire)
Mets Hall of Fame & Museum

I don't know what this special VIP tour entails though. Is it actually a tour or more like a sales pitch? I went to a group ticket pitch at the RedBulls Arena and it was just in a conference room for 95percent of the time.

I'd live to fiddle around with the scoreboard control room that you can see on the Excelsior level. Looks neat.

Generally these tours are on non-game days though, which is why they include the Clubhouse. I dunno, could be interesting, or {NAME REMOVED} could be the most interesting part.

[Edgy MD]

Vic isn't just part of their market for season tickets, but a guy who possibly holds the key to the Mets hosting industry events.

"Playwrites Nite," "Dramaturge Day," "Librettist Weekend." The possibilities are endless. I'm sure if he plays his cards right, they'll show him where all the bodies are buried.

[Ceetar]

Edgy MD wrote: Vic isn't just part of their market for season tickets, but a guy who possibly holds the key to the Mets hosting industry events. "Playwrites Nite," "Dramaturge Day," "Librettist Weekend." The possibilities are endless. I'm sure if he plays his cards right, they'll show him where all the bodies are buried.

Everyone knows they're buried under the Party City Deck. What, you think they moved the fences in for the fans?

[ashie62]

But Citifield was built on an Indian burial ground...

[MFS62]

Don't take your kids!
They will be kidnapped and held until you sign up for at least one box for this year and next.

Later

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Edgy MD wrote: No, she's totally on staff {LINK REMOVED}. Fresh-faced and fresh out of school. (Beaten to the punch, here's the photo I was workin' with.) {PHOTO REMOVED}

Creep five! [Holds up groping hand]

[seawolf17]

In all honesty, I'd love to think that a "VIP Tour" like this would show you cool stuff and then send you on your way, but you know it's only a hard sell on a ticket package.

[smg58]

seawolf17 wrote: seawolf17 wrote: Now I'm DEFINITELY available to be Vic's fake son. what do i do with my real son? {NAME REMOVED} and I will invite him to the wedding.

What do we do with seawolf's real wife?

[MFS62]

seawolf17 wrote: In all honesty, I'd love to think that a "VIP Tour" like this would show you cool stuff and then send you on your way, but you know it's only a hard sell on a ticket package.

The company I work for considers someone a VIP when:
1) their credit card has a balance on it. (mandatory)
2) they have a measurable pulse rate (optional)

Later

[Bunt the First Two]

Me and {NAME REMOVED}
Standing in a Sterling Suite
Where the rich are so privileged just to wipe their feet
Sweetheart, I'm not the man to give you this
You know I'm not that wily
Me and {NAME REMOVED}

Me and {NAME REMOVED}
Back in the productions room
Where it all comes alive from a stone cold tomb
How do I make the magic apple rise?
I ask her kinda shyly
Me and {NAME REMOVED}


Yeah, {NAME REMOVED} on the Shea Bridge and she's walking with me
Don't pass me over for some slick VIP
I'm just a mere mortal 'neath Elysian skies
But if you go from me now, there's no paradise



Me and {NAME REMOVED}
In the clubhouse now
At the Hall of Fame, where the best take a bow
Someone calls to her, she turns from me
And I sneak out slyly
Me and {NAME REMOVED}

[Ceetar]

I do have to wonder if LinkedIn is emailing {NAME REMOVED} with "These people just checked out your profile!" and she's looking at it with horror.

[seawolf17]

Ceetar wrote: I do have to wonder if LinkedIn is emailing {NAME REMOVED} with "These people just checked out your profile!" and she's looking at it with horror.

Ha! "Mr. Wilpon? With all due respect, sir, and I know I've only been here for three weeks, but I think we're going to want to cancel these VIP invitation calls."

(Let me state for the internet archive record that I have no intention of actually getting divorced and marrying a Mets ticket salesperson, even if she did promise me a VIP tour of CitiField if I pretend to be Vic's son.)

[Guest d'Kong76]

What if she let you work the apple?

[seawolf17]

d'Kong76 wrote: What if she let you work the apple?

This made me spit coffee out my nose.