SNY One Sentence Commercial Summaries, 2014

[Zvon]

Is there even a family member there that doesn't think he just bought a ticket outta there?

[Zvon]

Ha. Crap, wrong thread.

[Ceetar]

douchebag tosses perfectly delicious and popular ice cream in favor of something that might be different, but probably isn't.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Kid battles to save gecko sailing awry.

[Ceetar]

Employees scare boss into spending more on ink and toner.

[Lefty Specialist]

People buy Chevys, act like idiots.

[Edgy MD]

�Do you know how to optimize a nine-beam multi-beam antenna system?�

This ad makes me sad, my sympathies with the under-educated, unemployable party dude burning through his dwinding dollars as he takes his baby to the ball game.

[HahnSolo]

Sneaky-hot Becki Smith knows how to handle inquisitive cardboard cutouts and sell the bejesus out of a Honda. I think I'm in love.

[Fman99]

Whispering dipshits buy cell phones.

[Lefty Specialist]

Our beer is good because it's stupidly cold and comes from even more stupidly cold places.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Your pork belly Ssam money buys David Chang a pretty sweet Audi.

[Fman99]

Your middle aged wife will do something quirky and then you'll get a hard on, if you're on our super fabulous medication (fuck tubs not included).

[Fman99]

Have another Big Mac, you doughy fuck.

[Lefty Specialist]

We only love Grandma for her bandwidth.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Lee's Toyota Girl > Bay Ridge Honda Girl

[Ceetar]

#wor Here's some buzzwords about weather and summer and fuel economy now buy a Honda.

[Edgy MD]

Buy a pickup truck and you can live vicariously through your bull's sex life.

That one is on all the time on mlb.tv.

[Frayed Knot]

Ray Liotta picks up hot looking chicks by drinking some pretentious sounding liquor that nobody has ever heard of.

[Ceetar]

Frayed Knot wrote: Ray Liotta picks up hot looking chicks by drinking some pretentious sounding liquor that nobody has ever heard of.

guess it's working then. It's hardly pretentious and actually quite pedestrian.

[Frayed Knot]

Ceetar wrote: Ray Liotta picks up hot looking chicks by drinking some pretentious sounding liquor that nobody has ever heard of. guess it's working then. It's hardly pretentious and actually quite pedestrian.

I have no idea if the liquor is pretentious or not -- (I don't even know what kind of liquor it is, and I think that's pretty much the point of the ad, along the lines of: If have to ask ...blah, blah) -- but the ads are certainly designed to make the booze seem highfalutin' and pretentious.

[Lefty Specialist]

Yeah, like waiving the service fees on tickets for a couple of days is going to make us come out, you clueless nimrods.

[Ceetar]

Frayed Knot wrote: Frayed Knot wrote: Ray Liotta picks up hot looking chicks by drinking some pretentious sounding liquor that nobody has ever heard of. guess it's working then. It's hardly pretentious and actually quite pedestrian. I have no idea if the liquor is pretentious or not -- (I don't even know what kind of liquor it is, and I think that's pretty much the point of the ad, along the lines of: If have to ask ...blah, blah) -- but the ads are certainly designed to make the booze seem highfalutin' and pretentious.

I just meant that it's a non-pretentious booze. It's Chevy pretending they're a Porsche not Porsche bragging about being a Porsche. I think it calls for a different sort of eye-roll.

There's a different one where it's not a chick but a guy he's shaming into ordering a "real drink"

[Edgy MD]

Wow. Who knew Ray Liotta was a world-class dick? Going from bar to bar shaming folks into ordering the top-shelf stuff.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

You know, we always called each other good fellas. Like you said to, uh, somebody: You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a good fella. He's one of us.: You understand? We were good fellas. Except for that pussy in the corner nursing the Cuervo. He's not our kind of people.

[Ceetar]

voyeur from the future is nervous his past-self will not buy a lottery ticket, despite his timeline clearly being based on him buying that lottery ticket.

[Guest themetfairy]

Roosevelt was more than willing to develop lung problems from smoking but is shocked *SHOCKED* that smoking gave him heart problems.

[Zvon]

We put all this shit on our pizza-why?-fuck you, it's what we do.

[Lefty Specialist]

Sure, I'll leave this rockin' private party so I can sit around drinking Pepsi with the losers they wouldn't let in.

[Frayed Knot]

Not a one sentence summary, but you know those cable commercials trying to sell you on the idea of wireless connections for your TV even though the guy's wife (and his kid and a grandpa in different versions) is, ironically enough, a puppet on wires?
Well if I think that the puppet/wife is hot, does that make me weird?

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

From where I stand, it either makes you very particular, or not at all particular.