KTE: Shiver Me Timbers!

[Ceetar]

http://www.generator.name/pirate

The Pittsburgh Swashbucklers are 18-15 and in second place and managed by Clint Hurdle in his fourth year as manager. They're the Pirates though, so it's only a matter of time before they rattle off losing streak we've grown to know and love.

They've got about league average hitting and pitching, scoring and being scored on with equal ferver.

The Cutch isn't swinging the 'ole wooden leg like he did last year when he finished 3rd in MVP voting, but it's still good for a center fielder. He hasn't walked like he usually does, so it's hits OBP that's a little low. Either way he's their most dangerous hitter and the guy to watch.

Plank Hook(Russell Martin) signed away from the Yankees is doing most of the catching and is actually hitting very well. He leads the team in home runs with 6 and has only struck out 11 times against 10 walks.

Deadfish Sky Pirate(Starling Marte) is their young outfielder and also hitting the ball well in his first full season. He's playing left field, and between him and McCutchen get to many many baseballs hit to the outfield.

Other Pirates hitting well include: Gaby Sanchez an Garrett Jones, with Travis Snider, Neil Walker, Pedro Alvarez and Clint Barmes less so.

Barmes and Alvarez are embarassingly bad, and while Neil Walker is, ahem, walking a lot (Or he was. he's injured, being replaced by guys like Brandon Inge), but he wasn't slugging much.

The pitchers:


The rum-guzzlers skipped the 5th starter the last time through the order. Rumfish Blood(A.J. Burnett) is pitching real well but he won't pitch against the Mets.

sir Christoper the Rusty Sword(Jeff Locke) has made six starts and been pretty good, a 3-1 record with a 3.21 ERA and will pitch tonight. He's had similar stretches with the Pirates the last two years with no success. He's the soft-tossing lefty type the Mets seem to have trouble with. He doesn't strike out a ton but will walk guys, so this could easily be one of those frustrating 'strand a million' games.

Friday is Lakefish the Pirat(Wandy Rodriguez) whose 4.02 ERA is basically his career norm. In 9 starts against the Mets he's got a 2.88 ERA and a complete game shutout.

Saturday is still up in the air. Gerrit Cole is their Zack Wheeler, getting some seasoning and waiting out financial guideposts. He's walked a ton in AAA and the Marauders rotation is super injured so it might not be much longer.

It seems like One Eye Blackbeard(Francisco Liriano) will get the start on Banner Day, who I remember most for being a strong #2 to Johan Santana in his rookie season. That was his only great season and mostly he's just been bad, especially lately. He'll also walk a ton, but can still strike you out too.

Deadfish Dangerous(Jeanmar Gomez) gets the honor of occupying the same mound as Matt Harvey on Mother's Day. Acquired from the Indians for Quincy Latimore in January. He's 25 and started the season in the bullpen, but this will be his third start. He's 2-0 with a 2.38 ERA. Soft-tossing righty with a decent changeup looks like. The Mets should probably crush this guy. His middle name is Alejandro meaning the Mets should play Lady Gaga when he gets up, but they won't because they don't have that cool Braves' Organ player guy.

I hate bullpens. They all suck, but let's give you the guys that are doing well for the Corsairs.

Fast Ship Sharkbait(Jason Grilli) is unhittable so far, 14IP, 13 saves, 23 Ks. He's allowed only one run so far this season, and in fact only one XBH, a double to who else but Carlos Beltran.

sir Christoper Blewfield(Justin Wilson) is also pitching well, 1.29 ERA with 21 IP.

Shark Hook(Mark Melancon) has a .053 ERA through 17 IP. The only run he's allowed is a Joey Votto home run.

I don't see any Pirates that were Mets. A.J. Burnett was drafted by the Mets but didn't make the big team.

The last trade between two teams was the infamous Oliver Perez deal.

All-Time record against the Pirates: 341 wins, 364 losses, 2 ties

[Guest themetfairy]

Aye matey - I raise a tankard of grog to ye!

[seawolf17]

Former Mets: Hurdle, hitting coach Jay Bell, and pitching coach Ray Searage, and coach Dave Jauss.

[Ceetar]

seawolf17 wrote: Former Mets: Hurdle, hitting coach Jay Bell, and pitching coach Ray Searage, and coach Dave Jauss.

Good call, didn't look closely at the coaches. That's amusing that so many of them are former mets

[Ceetar]

Mets are 12-3 against the Pirates at Citi Field and have not lost a series to them since 2004.

[Edgy MD]

Expect one salaciously violent kick in the gut from the Pirates every season.

[Chad ochoseis]

Ceetar wrote: The last trade between two teams was the infamous Oliver Perez deal.

The Oliver Perez deal was brilliant. Omar had his back to the wall after the Duaner Sanchez crash and managed to not only get a competent replacement in Roberto Hernandez, but also brought in Perez as an extra starter. And he pitched well in the 2006 playoffs when he was desperately needed. We all know how that ended, but that wasn't Ollie's fault.

What was infamous was the contract that followed the trade.

[Edgy MD]

Xavier Nady also lost his power stroke the remainder of that season.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Oh, blow the men down, bullies, blow the men down!
To me last stri-ike, blow the men down!
Oh, Mow the men down, hurlers, blow 'em right down!
Give me some run s'port to blow the men down!

[Frayed Knot]

And I'm leavin' my family, leavin' all my friends
My body's at home but my heart's in the wind
Where the clouds are like headlines upon a new front page sky
And shiver me timbers 'Cause I'm a-sailin' away

[Zvon]

Arrrrg, Great job matey.