Tell Me a Bunch of Crap

[Edgy MD]

I name a player, you tell me a fact about him --- a fact that probably isn't true, but you'd like to be true. Brian McRae? Appeared in Conan the Conqueror while still a teenager. Macky Sasser? Delivered Reese Witherspoon's baby in an elevator. David Cone? Makes the law with his bare hands. Once drank Daniel Day-Lewis' milkshake just for shits and giggles.

Extra points for walking the line between plausible and awesome.

Tell me a bunch of crap about Bill Almon.

[Guest Swan Swan H]

He is a distant relative of Duane and Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers. Their families emigrated from Germany in the late 1800s, and their family name of Allmendinger was Americanized differently upon arrival.

And two that are ture:

My sister and I sat behind to his wife at a game, back in 1980. We were having a nice chat when a bizarre rundown play took place. Almon threw the ball past Joel Youngblood, who was rushing in from center field to join the play, and everybody scored. The poor woman was so embarrassed she never said another word to us for the rest of the game.

His daughter was an excellent softball player in college, a catcher for Hofstra, is friendly with my son. She is now the assistant director of athletics for administration at Hofstra.

Am I naming the next guy, or is Edgy Trebeking the thread?

[Vic Sage]

Bill Married his HS sweetheart, Jeanette, and they settled in Warwick, RI. They had 9 children -- all sons, and he taught them each to play a different position. After he retired, Bill took his family barnstorming, playing pickup games throughout New England. They were sponsored by Hershey's Almond Joy. The team, however, was never as good as they should have been.

[Edgy MD]

Am I naming the next guy, or is Edgy Trebeking the thread?

Oh, no. You go. Great leadoff homer.

[Guest Swan Swan H]

OK. Give me some crap about Claudell Washington.

[batmagadanleadoff]

Swan Swan H wrote: OK. Give me some crap about Claudell Washington.

Claudell is a distant relative of Duane and Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers. Their families emigrated from Germany in the late 1800s, and their family name of Allmendinger was Americanized differently upon arrival. With no talent for the slide guitar, Claudell took up base-sliding as a hobby instead, and eventually, baseball.

What's the crap with Les Rohr?

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Named after his deceased maternal grandmother, famed Gallic cow-yeller Leslie "C'Mere" Commaire, Rohr was actually raised as a girl for the first eleven years of his life; his quirky left-handed motion derived from his time spent in youth softball leagues.

FUN FACT: Mies van der Rohe was a family friend of his Air Force pilot/architecture critic father; when young Leslie surprised the architect/designer during a visit to the Rohr home by jumping on his lap following a surprising weight gain, Mies was moved to exclaim, "OOF-- Les is MORE;" the Brno chair and Tugendhat chair were created by Mies as ergonomic responses to the experience.

Give me something on Wally Whitehurst.

Edited January 7, 2013 by Guest

[Edgy MD]

And after Claudelle we have...

[Edgy MD]

After Les Rohr's MLB career flamed out at 23, he continued for several years in the PCL and Mexican League, pitching under the nam "Dutch Chapperal."

Terry Leach?

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Terry Leach was originally a conventional pitcher until a massive goiter developed on the right side of his neck during his junior year at Auburn, causing him tilt precipitously to that side. He realized that the angle made his pitches more effective, so once the goiter was removed he kept to that style. The goiter, preserved in formaldehyde, now resides in a jar in the Auburn Sports Hall of Fame.

I believe Wally Whitehurst is still on the board from LWFS.

[Lefty Specialist]

Wally Whitehurst, after he left the Mets in 1992, went on an Aztec Dream Quest and discovered that he was indeed the reincarnated soul of Quetzalcoatl, the terrifying feathered serpent beast. After two indifferent seasons with the Padres (coincidentally during the same time a series of ritual pet sacrifices in the San Diego area remain unsolved), he moved on to the Yankees in time to post a 1-1 record and induct George Steinbrenner and Joe Torre into his bloodthirsty plan for world domination.

Today, ironically, he runs a petting zoo in Thousand Oaks, CA with his wife Tzitzimitl and their three kids, Tlazolteotl, Mictlantecuhtli, and Jimmy.

[Edgy MD]

That took a lot of good research and fact-checking. Need another Met.

[Lefty Specialist]

Eric Hillman, the tallest Met ever prior to Jon Rauch. Tell me his story.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Well, Hillman was a decent basketball player but a white supremacist, so it didn't work out for him. Nowadays he spends his days sharing a lot of poorly designed graphics spouting idiotic right-wing stuff on Facebook. Into guns, hates Obama. A real asshole.

Danny Heep, you're up.

[Guest Swan Swan H]

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Well, Hillman was a decent basketball player but a white supremacist, so it didn't work out for him. Nowadays he spends his days sharing a lot of poorly designed graphics spouting idiotic right-wing stuff on Facebook. Into guns, hates Obama. A real asshole. Danny Heep, you're up.

You're thinking of Curt Schilling.

[Edgy MD]

You may remember "Reel Around the Fountain" occasionally played at Shea when Danny Heep came to the plate. Heep is a huge Morrissey nut, and up until recently landing a hitting instructor job, spent most of his available time as administrator of Blacker than a Thousand Midnights --- the most comprehensive Morrissey fan site on the World Wide Web.

How about that Roger Mason?

[dinosaur jesus]

Roger Mason attended the Space Academy, near Atom City, Wyoming, for two years on a baseball scholarship, until the Academy was shut down in the late seventies due to NASA cutbacks. By his own admission a chronic malcontent in those days, he credits classmate (and future governor of Pennsylvania) Tom Corbett for straightening him out. He and future governor Corbett shared many adventures together. One of Roger's special memories is of the time he returned from fighting space pirates in the asteroid belt--to find he was pitching the big game against Utah Valley State that same afternoon! "I hadn't shaved, hadn't showered, I was blistered up and down with radiation burns--but I held them to two runs, and we won that game! I was space happy for a week, let me tell you."

Roger still chokes up when hears the "Space Cadet March":

From the rocket fields of the Academy
To the far flung stars of outer space
We are space cadets training to be
Ready for dangers we may face.

We are space cadets, and we are proud to say
Our fight for right will never cease.
Like a cosmic ray, we light the way,
For interplanet peace!

[Guest cooby]

You guys are funny

[Edgy MD]

But we forget to include names of the next Met.

[Guest cooby]

Yikes, and dj doesn't come around very often...

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Pick a name, Cooby. DJ won't mind.

[Guest cooby]

How about Vic? He answered one without much credit

[dinosaur jesus]

Sorry. Tell me some crap about Randy Tate.

[RealityChuck]

After retiring, he moved to London and started collecting art. His galleries are world famous.

[Edgy MD]

And again, please complete by naming another Met.

[Guest Kong76]

Being camp counselor is tough duty sometimes!

[Edgy MD]

"Can't go out tonight, Love. Gotta keep the thread movin'!"

[RealityChuck]

Edgy MD wrote: And again, please complete by naming another Met.

Oops.

I'll go with the immortal Shaun Fitzmaurice

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Shaun Fitzmaurice was born Santino Fiandola in Worcester, MA, and as a young teen dreamed of playing football at The University of Notre Dame. Thinking that his name would be a hindrance toward getting accepted, he changed it to one that sounded Fightin' Irish. He was accepted, but quickly realized the error of his ways when he got there and found his roommate was future NFL star Nick Buoniconti.

Dave Schneck, if you please.

[dinosaur jesus]

When Dave Schneck was seventeen years old he had a rare neck-shortening operation. At puberty his neck had started growing, and by that point it was two and a half feet long. In addition to the social embarrassment it caused him (his nickname at White Hall High School in Allentown was Periscope Dave), it threatened to derail a promising baseball career; he found it very difficult to keep his eye on the ball. In a six-hour operation, otorhinolaryngologists at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital removed a section of his neck and reattached his head closer to his shoulders (too close, some might say). Aside from some shoulder problems at the beginning of his professional career, the operation was a success.

Dave Schneck always makes me think of George Theodore, in a Mutt and Jeff sort of way. So tell me some crap about him.