Ten Knowable Things About Justin Turner

[Guest Edgy DC]

He may soon be a Met, and if you know as little as I do, you don't want to be caught off-guard.

Justin Turner...

1. ...has collected a hit in all five games he's played with Buffalo after being claimed off waivers from Baltimore on May 27. He's batting .350 as a Herdsman.
   
   
   
2. ...led all Orioles' minor leaguers with a .300 average with Triple-A Norfolk.
   
   
   
3. ...was drafted in the seventh round in 2006 by the Reds. Who was the Reds GM then? Wayne Fucking Krivsky, that's who.
   
   
   
4. ...has spent most of his career at second, but has tooled around at third, short, and the outfield.
   
   
   
5. ...shows some extra-base power, though not much, but he does get in his walks and singles. Batting righthanded, he's put up a .307 / .373 / .430 // .803 line in the sticks.
   
   
   
6. ...was originally drafted by the Yankees but chose educaton instead. Good man.
   
   
   
7. ...got his first hit in a battering of the Yankees last September at "the Stadium." Great man.
   
   
   
8. ...is not a fan of the Gazoo helmet, confessing recently, "I don't even look in the mirror. I think they're ridiculous. There's got to be a way to put more protection in the helmet and not have them look that atrocious," Um, what adult looks in the mirror with a batting helmet on?
   
   
   
9. ...looks a little... I don't know. What's the word I'm looking for?
   
   "Photoshopped," certainly.
   
   
   
10. ... appears to be blogging, but that's not really a blog, is it? Something like a fake blog page spontaneously generated out of an RSS feed or something.

[Benjamin Grimm]

25 years old. (Born November 23, 1984, Long Beach, California.)
Height: 5' 11" Weight: 180

[Guest Edgy DC]

Won a 2004 national championship with Cal State-Fullerton, brought a bat to the White House, and --- moments after this
photo was taken --- vicously attacked President Bush.

[ashie62]

He looks like "Corky"

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Edgy DC wrote: ...looks a little... I don't know. What's the word I'm looking for?

"Spawn of Giuliani?"

Ashie62 wrote: He looks like "Corky"

Why be coy? Say "retard," "mongoloid," or "Down's case." It's a lot more to the point, and bespeaks just as much class.

[seawolf17]

... appears to be blogging, but that's not really a blog, is it? Something like a fake blog page spontaneously generated out of an RSS feed or something.[/list]

Not only that, but this is listed among his career accomplishments there:

Derek Jeter broke Lou Gehrig�s Yankee record for most hits in a Yankee uniform. http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?content_id=6592063

I have to remember to add Ken Griffey's career stats to the bottom of my resume.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Turner has hit in all nine games he's played for the Buffs.

[MFS62]

Ashie62 wrote: He looks like "Corky"

Nahh.
He's looking happy to be wearing a hat with "NY" on it - the proper NY.

Later