Captions Needed

[Guest Edgy DC]

Source article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/14/sports/baseball/14santana.html

You know, it's funny to try and get in those kids minds when the article describes how they stare slack-jawed staring at Santana. I was mute and slack-jawed meeting Elliott Maddox when I was kid. Could hardly breathe. I certainly wasn't poor and Maddox certainly wasn't Santana

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

I spy with my little eye... a FARC weapons shipment!

No, wait-- is that a sailboat? It's actually a sailboat!

[metirish]

" look at Jay dressed up as Santa, I'm crying I'm laughing so hard"

[TransMonk]

Johan Santana is spreading holiday cheer in his hometown of Tovar, Venezuela by indulging everyone in a game of "Boca que abre juego". The popular Venezuelan tradition invovles seeing who can open their mouth the widest while poking themselves in the eye.

[Guest Edgy DC]

"Oh, my God. There's mascara everywhere!"

[Fman99]

"No, I swear, it's true! If you scream like this and hold your eye with your finger, you will poop a gold coin. Try it!"

[Frayed Knot]

"... and, just then, Beltran pulls Reyes's chair out sending Jose flying naked into the table and ass-first onto his birthday cake! Oh man you shoulda been there."

[Guest Edgy DC]

"Hey, wait a minute... Andy Green!

"Heeheeheee! "

"Stop it! STOP IT!"

"Wait a minute, I got another... Emil Brown!

"Please! You're killing me!"