DiGiorno

[Guest Edgy DC]

The pizza company that knew what you could never figure out... that Armando Benitez was a superhero.

[MFS62]

They don't know how to make good pizza either.

Later

[Guest Edgy DC]

Oh, I disagree. This artwork is great. They do a great job capturing the minor-leaguey open concourses of Shea; the way they did batting practice without a cage; the angry way Piazza used to take batting practice by hitting liners (off forehead high pitches) into the opposing dugouts, the meatiness of Franco's forearms and, um, package; the massive biceps of, I guess, number 32; and the sinister sneer of that Bian Schneidery guy behind him. I remember that guy! What's his name?

[Frayed Knot]

The pizza company that knew what you could never figure out... that Armando Benitez was a superhero.

[easy joke]Yes, but like DiGorno, he didn't deliver[/easy joke]

[ashie62]

The smaller DiGiordano Frozen Pie done for 12 minutes at 425 degrees is a tasty treat

[Guest Kong76]

FK: [easy joke]Yes, but like DiGorno, he didn't deliver[/easy joke] <<<

Hah, nicely played.
Are these yearbook ads, the first one looks familiar sorta?

[G-Fafif]

This was one of my first eBay purchases given that the comic was mysteriously given only to those 14 and under.

Ohmigod, nostalgia for the 2000s!

[Guest Edgy DC]

This is a comic book giveaway sponsored by DiGiorno from July 1, 2000. Like Greg, it was one of my first ebay purchases. In my case, it was my very first. I'll be violating copyright and posting a page a day. The story gets good.

[ashie62]

They all look they are on Steroids

[metirish]

Totally awesome

[Fman99]

They all look they are on Steroids[/quote:21xcyrr8]

Keep an eye out for the bozacne.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I think Bozacne is the super-villain they fight in Issue #2.

[MFS62]

The pizza company that knew what you could never figure out... that Armando Benitez was a superhero.

[easy joke]Yes, but like DiGorno, he didn't deliver[/easy joke][/quote:2u73ynnw]
Yes, that what I said- that they identify superheroes as well as they make pizza. And I said they don't make good pizza.
Of course, ever since that little pizza stand near Main st., Flushing, went out of business, I haven't tasted any pizza that I considered to be good.
Later

[Frayed Knot]

Actually, I was going for a satire of their ad campaign.
Since they're a frozen, nuke-it-at-home deal they have a slogan that states: "It's not de-livery - it's Di-Gorno's"
So I was figuring that even it they did create some sort of super ball-player he probably still wouldn't deliver [ba-dum-ching] -- (another one of my - if you have to explain it it probably wasn't all that good in the first place jokes).

To my knowledge I've never eaten their product so I have no opinion as to whether or not it's any good.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

... the massive biceps of, I guess, number 32; and the sinister sneer of that Bian Schneidery guy behind him. I remember that guy! What's his name?[/quote:2htr8wf7]

Biceps is Hampton, prolly. Which makes Schneider-smelling-a-fart... my namesake?

To my knowledge I've never eaten their product so I have no opinion as to whether or not it's any good.[/quote:2htr8wf7]

It's better than Ellio's.

[Benjamin Grimm]

It's better than Ellio's.[/quote:2k3bov22]

I don't think I've ever had either brand, but that smells like faint praise.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

It's better than Ellio's.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I don't really want to spoil things.

[Guest Edgy DC]

This evening as we eat our DiGiorno's pizza and review our 200 Mets comic book, we learn:

• LWFS appears to be correct, and Lord Biceps is Mike Hampton. (I think. If it is, the M and P appear to have coupled into some altogether new letter.)
  
• John Franco, despite being oh-for-his incredibly long Mets career, loved to rock the batting gloves.
  
• He and Hampton exist in a universe of pure golden light.
  
• Even in a pennant-winning year, fans who show up early for warmups cheer with a hint of sarcasm.
  
• They also pay extortionary ballpark prices for plastic cups of water.
  
• They nonetheless sport beer guts.
  
• There is an angry Indian man at Shea. Chill out, Rajiv!
  
• During warmups, Shea is an entirely chick-free zone. I actually think they got that mostly right.
  
• The closer you get to a 2000 Met moustache, the pornier it gets.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, I'm intrigued, but this is not Frank Springer-quality work.

Any guesses as to who the mystery off-screen voice is in the last panel?

[ashie62]

First off, the DiGiorno frozen pie must be cooked in a conventional over.

Ellios, owned by McCain foods ..A long time ago I ran the sausage shooting machine...Choose a different brand

The off page voice? Sam Champion?

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

So bad it's almost good, but still bad. Nameplates aren't vertically arched neither.

[Fman99]

First off, the DiGiorno frozen pie must be cooked in a conventional over.

Ellios, owned by McCain foods ..A long time ago I ran the sausage shooting machine...Choose a different brand

The off page voice? Sam Champion?[/quote:2j4911y9]

I just ran the sausage shooting machine last night in fact.

[Fman99]

Any guesses as to who the mystery off-screen voice is in the last panel?[/quote:3avyc0na]

Harvey Firestein.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Getting warmer.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

The voice holds good PR in high regard, so it could be a Wilpon.

But it can recognize Mike's conversation as good PR, so it is most likely not a Wilpon.

It's either a Jay Horowitz, or we're in for a ream of ugly-mistress jokes again.

[Guest Edgy DC]

LeiterWagner reveals himself, as usual, to be a wise man.



Oh, there's so much here.

• Since taking BP, Piazza seems to have shrunk to human proportion in frame one, and is approaching Horowitz proportion which is something even less. Plus he's gotten extremely high.
  
  
  
• Notice Jay clutching a little sheet. Is his thankless apparent sidejob as secretary/dispatcher for the Mets little hero business so backwards that he receives notice of emergencies by fax? How stressful. Anna Benson was right. That guy does need a puppy.
  
  
  
• By frame two, Mike has not only reinflated his stature to dwarf poor Jay, but he has forsaken the sotto voce discretion of his previous panel and switched to some marquee font to announce the name of his superhero squad. What a bit of superdickery there.
  
  
  
• Middle panel: speaking of superdickery, how about Ventura dealing with a life-or-death dire emergency situation with a "What else is new?" I want Alfonzo (who you'll see has very few lines in this adventure) to chortle in with, "I'm dating your mama. That's new."
  
  
  
• Regarding panel four, I want to pause and note that this portrait of Franco is the best piece of Met representatin' in the book. Kudos for that. It looks like it was copied right out of the media guide and probably was.
  
  
  
• Panel four goes to shit after that. Notice that crazy sideburn coming from behind Ventura's (I think it's him) ear. This is a problem with the entire book actually --- the reader (myself, anyhow) being unable to distinguish what is meant to be facial shadows and contours, and what is meant to be facial hair. In college, I'd read my roommate's Marvel books and the letters to the editors would heap praise upon the artists, but often single out the inking. "Do you geeks really know good inking from bad inking?" I thought. But I think I just learned what bad inking is. Check out the cover. Franco has what look like some Frankensteinian stitches going up his neck.
  
  
  
• More importantly with Ventura is the huge perspective problems. How does he get to be in the foreground while Franco is in the midground, and yet have his shoulder be behind Franco? He can't, that's how. He's existing in space that is physically impossible to exist in. No wonder he ended up on the Yankees.
  
  
  
• How about Mark Johnson, ladies and gentlemen? Sucking on a plug of tobacco, he gets all quotey-quotes busting his captain's balls on the eve of battle? Like he has the enough big league juice to pull that shit? Hey Mark, I think you're going to run into a team of superheros called the Clubhouse Lawyers, and it's not going to be pretty.
  
  
  
• Speaking of which, where's Franco's "C"? They give the guy Mike Tyson's torso and they can't find room on it for his signature insignia?
  
  
  
• Lastly, we see that their battle cry comes from the horrible video of 1986 vintage. Hey, DiGiorno, "Let's go, Mets!" doesn't end in "-go!" and it doesn't end in "-whooo." It ends with a quarter-note rest. Stop being threatened by the brief silence, people.

Thank you, ebay.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Wow, not a lot of love for page three. Something about a cartoon Jay Horowitz that just sticks in your craw?

Or maybe I just provided too much of my own intrusive commentary. Page four flies with no further cracks from my corner.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

The villain... is George Peppard?

[Fman99]

Wow, not a lot of love for page three. Something about a cartoon Jay Horowitz that just sticks in your craw?

Or maybe I just provided too much of my own intrusive commentary. Page four flies with no further cracks from my corner.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I never watched The A-Team. Was that Pepard's sig line? He does seem to have Pepard's jaw.