Sorry!

[Fman99]

"Sorry about your Mets."

I've heard this four or five times since Wednesday night. Yes, I wear a Mets jacket, and yes, my friends know of my allegiance. But why, now, weeks after the Mets pooed their season away, are people now "sorry about" my Mets? Are you fucking serious? Why, because the MFYs won?

If you've said this to someone, you're a fucking dick. And if someone has said this to you, hopefully, you responded the way I did. "Why are YOU sorry? I'm not." Said sullenly and with contempt. Or, more forcefully, by punching/kicking someone in their neck/****, should it be socially appropriate to do so.

To those out there who are so sorry for me? Truthfully, I'm sorry about YOUR Yankees. Soulless bunch of hacks playing in a beer league. Fuck every one of them. And you root for these assholes!

I just want to start headbutting these people in their eye sockets and sticking lit candlesticks in their asses until they cry for their stupid Yanqui loving mothers.

[Guest cooby]

I have two best friends at work. One is a Yankee fan. She was all giggles and smiles yesterday and I loved her for it. You couldn't find a sweeter woman if you seached the world over. She gives me Mets stuff, I give her Yankees stuff.

My other best friend is a Phillies fan. We share an office so we have a lot of friendly rivalry. He congratulated her, as a gentlemen would.

No problems and I'm happy for both of them.

[Guest Kong76]

I was gonna wear my 2000esque dugoutesque jacket to work
today and didn't. The baseball fans at work that are Yankee fans
aren't real baseball fans. I joked and yucked with a few of them
during the playoffs ... I bet most of them never made it past 10
o'clock most nights during the playoffs.

They don't understand why I would, for example, watch a Mets
game when they're down 10-2 in the 7th and 21 games back.

They wouldn't watch that same Yankee game.

[metirish]

Happened to me today with a patient I was doing a test on, she remarked how she wanted to get back to her room to watch the parade and the guy I work with who had nothing to do with the test walked into the room and told the old woman that I was a Mets fan so " don't mention the parade"...., she made some sort of "oh sorry" remark....whatever ...and the guy I work with is a yankee fan but has no clue.......

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

A good number of the Yankee fans in the office were elsewhere today. My boss' boss gave me the smirking sorry. But THAT part was tolerable.

Fuck you, though, 6 train paradegoers, Westchester park-and-rides taking up two seats, braying on your iPhones in full voice during rush hour before the train went underground.

Fuck you, 6 train conductor, who made the same "All Mets fans need to get off" joke at four different stations before I hit midtown. Fuck you for being unable to contain your spite two days after your favorite team won a fucking World Series, and mostly, for being a fucking hack.

Fuck you, Jay-Z, and your fucking "Empire State," which touched the hard-bitten-city-kid in me when I first heard it, but now sounds to me like fucking Wagner with drug references. And get the fuck off the float, you goat-looking, friend-ditching asshole, and climb back into Beyonce's ass for the winter-- you didn't do shit.

Fuck you, George Steinbrenner. The fact that you're dying now doesn't ennoble you, and it doesn't lessen in the least the fact that you're an absolute dick of a boss and horrorshow of a human being.

Fuck you, Fox morning show-- especially Greg Kelly, who shames his father daily-- and ALL you local-news assholes for trumpeting this overdog tripe like an underdog story, making me feel embarrassed for you with your second-city shtick, and making me feel sympathy for Philadelphians. When you offer lame, insincere congratulations after the Mets finally win another championship in my lifetime, I will answer you with two middle fingers and a shit-eating grin.

Fuck your stupid hat, A-Rod. And fuck the ridiculous Jonathan-Albaledejo-Seagull self-help bullshit that's flooded my eyes and ears in the last two weeks, all in the service of explaining normal statistical variance. Fuck fucking Kate Hudson, and magic vagina theories.

Fuck your Bronx-raping monstrosity of a stadium. Fuck your big boondoggle that will never, ever pay for itself, and still gave you a granite-and-limestone train station with shitty food. Fuck your engraved t-bones and fake frieze. Fuck you for stealing parkland from children. Fuck you in the eyeholes with prison dicks, Lonn Trost.

Fuck Francesa, Kay, Waldman and, most of all, fuuuuuuuuuuuucking Sterling. Fuck MFY mouthpiece, Bob Sheppard, MFY mouthpiece. Fuck your proud tradition of far-than-your-share of drunks, wife-beaters and phonies. Fuck "True Yankees" and your false gods of clutch.

Most of all, fuck you, diehards-since-the-90s who can't name your team's backup infielders, but wear a different-colored MFY hat every day to work, started the "Let's Go Yankees" chant that bled through my iPod earbuds and frightened the children on my train, and think that your team affiliation makes you more important than us. You make the rest of America hate us, you make the rest of the world hate us, and you make native New Yorkers understand why. Go break a rib or four in your parade, you insufferable shits, then hitch a ride home from Leyritz.


November 2006

[G-Fafif]

A good number of the Yankee fans in the office were elsewhere today. My boss' boss gave me the smirking sorry. But THAT part was tolerable.

Fuck you, though, 6 train paradegoers, Westchester park-and-rides taking up two seats, braying on your iPhones in full voice during rush hour before the train went underground.

Fuck you, 6 train conductor, who made the same "All Mets fans need to get off" joke at four different stations before I hit midtown. Fuck you for being unable to contain your spite two days after your favorite team won a fucking World Series, and mostly, for being a fucking hack.

Fuck you, Jay-Z, and your fucking "Empire State," which touched the hard-bitten-city-kid in me when I first heard it, but now sounds to me like fucking Wagner with drug references. And get the fuck off the float, you goat-looking, friend-ditching asshole, and climb back into Beyonce's ass for the winter-- you didn't do shit.

Fuck you, George Steinbrenner. The fact that you're dying now doesn't ennoble you, and it doesn't lessen in the least the fact that you're an absolute dick of a boss and horrorshow of a human being.

Fuck you, Fox morning show-- especially Greg Kelly, who shames his father daily-- and ALL you local-news assholes for trumpeting this overdog tripe like an underdog story, making me feel embarrassed for you with your second-city shtick, and making me feel sympathy for Philadelphians. When you offer lame, insincere congratulations after the Mets finally win another championship in my lifetime, I will answer you with two middle fingers and a shit-eating grin.

Fuck your stupid hat, A-Rod. And fuck the ridiculous Jonathan-Albaledejo-Seagull self-help bullshit that's flooded my eyes and ears in the last two weeks, all in the service of explaining normal statistical variance. Fuck fucking Kate Hudson, and magic vagina theories.

Fuck your Bronx-raping monstrosity of a stadium. Fuck your big boondoggle that will never, ever pay for itself, and still gave you a granite-and-limestone train station with shitty food. Fuck your engraved t-bones and fake frieze. Fuck you for stealing parkland from children. Fuck you in the eyeholes with prison dicks, Lonn Trost.

Fuck Francesa, Kay, Waldman and, most of all, fuuuuuuuuuuuucking Sterling. Fuck MFY mouthpiece, Bob Sheppard, MFY mouthpiece. Fuck your proud tradition of far-than-your-share of drunks, wife-beaters and phonies. Fuck "True Yankees" and your false gods of clutch.

Most of all, fuck you, diehards-since-the-90s who can't name your team's backup infielders, but wear a different-colored MFY hat every day to work, started the "Let's Go Yankees" chant that bled through my iPod earbuds and frightened the children on my train, and think that your team affiliation makes you more important than us. You make the rest of America hate us, you make the rest of the world hate us, and you make native New Yorkers understand why. Go break a rib or four in your parade, you insufferable shits, then hitch a ride home from Leyritz.[/quote:2ixsaboy]

Chills. I have chills. And I'm pretty sure it's not the swine flu.

[Vic Sage]

a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

[metirish]

Fuck you but that was great.....

[Guest themetfairy]

Well stated LWFS!

[ashie62]

Well put! and fuck MFY loving douchebag Artie Lang

[Guest Edgy DC]

If the forum was shut down today, that would be all right.

Fuck MFY mouthpiece, Bob Sheppard, MFY mouthpiece.

I dont' know if the reduncancy was intentional, but it may be the best part of the whole thing.

[Guest Kong76]

And fuck you former rant of the decade because you're now number 2.

[Frayed Knot]

Was Jay-Z really on the float?

Who's Greg Kelly's father? (or, for that matter, who's Greg Kelly - although I guess the rant implies he's some guy on a morning show)

[metirish]

Yeah he was on the float....and the night before he was on stage in Berlin , what a douche



Greg Kelly's dad is the police commissioner





fuck you Spike Lee.....a canon shooter , no surprise in that

[Guest Edgy DC]

Fuck you, 6 train conductor, who made the same "All Mets fans need to get off" joke at four different stations before I hit midtown. Fuck you for being unable to contain your spite two days after your favorite team won a fucking World Series, and mostly, for being a fucking hack.[/quote:1uf5n2wj]

Seriously, that deserves more than a rant, but a pointed complaint to the New York State Division of Human Rights.

http://www.dhr.state.ny.us/

If they pooh-pooh your complaint, point out the obvious parallels.

"Merry Christmas, riders! All Jews please get off at the next stop."

"Happy Kwaanza. All white people, please disembark."

"Happy Valentine's Day. All homos, get the fuck out of here."

It's fucking state-sponsored minority harassment, masked as genial humor. Who was conducting the train, Ronan Tynan?

[metirish]

On a friends FB

Just woke up and looked out the window it,s fcuking snowing jesus h christ here we go again five months of this shit, well it could be worse we could be phillie fans , met fans ,red sox fans our even worse liverpool fc fans cmonnnnn the spring

HUH?

[Frayed Knot]

If you weren't in the dugout you've got no fucking business being on a float. The celebrity hangers-on and jock-sniffers roaming the sidelines of an NFL game is disgraceful enough. MLB is at least wise enough to keep same out of their dugouts.
What, you think it's going to fool us into thinking you actually contributed?

[bmfc1]

Hey Spike Lee! (NSFW!!!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-O382Xi7U4

[Guest themetfairy]

fuck you Spike Lee.....a canon shooter , no surprise in that[/quote:3lv1azed]

ROFL

[Guest cooby]

Scrolling down through here I saw Spike Lee and irish's comment right above it about Gregg Kelly and thought "Spike Lee is Greg Kelly's dad?"

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

If the forum was shut down today, that would be all right.

Fuck MFY mouthpiece, Bob Sheppard, MFY mouthpiece.

I dont' know if the reduncancy was intentional...

[Guest metsguyinmichigan]

A good number of the Yankee fans in the office were elsewhere today. My boss' boss gave me the smirking sorry. But THAT part was tolerable.

Fuck you, though, 6 train paradegoers, Westchester park-and-rides taking up two seats, braying on your iPhones in full voice during rush hour before the train went underground.

Fuck you, 6 train conductor, who made the same "All Mets fans need to get off" joke at four different stations before I hit midtown. Fuck you for being unable to contain your spite two days after your favorite team won a fucking World Series, and mostly, for being a fucking hack.

Fuck you, Jay-Z, and your fucking "Empire State," which touched the hard-bitten-city-kid in me when I first heard it, but now sounds to me like fucking Wagner with drug references. And get the fuck off the float, you goat-looking, friend-ditching asshole, and climb back into Beyonce's ass for the winter-- you didn't do shit.

Fuck you, George Steinbrenner. The fact that you're dying now doesn't ennoble you, and it doesn't lessen in the least the fact that you're an absolute dick of a boss and horrorshow of a human being.

Fuck you, Fox morning show-- especially Greg Kelly, who shames his father daily-- and ALL you local-news assholes for trumpeting this overdog tripe like an underdog story, making me feel embarrassed for you with your second-city shtick, and making me feel sympathy for Philadelphians. When you offer lame, insincere congratulations after the Mets finally win another championship in my lifetime, I will answer you with two middle fingers and a shit-eating grin.

Fuck your stupid hat, A-Rod. And fuck the ridiculous Jonathan-Albaledejo-Seagull self-help bullshit that's flooded my eyes and ears in the last two weeks, all in the service of explaining normal statistical variance. Fuck fucking Kate Hudson, and magic vagina theories.

Fuck your Bronx-raping monstrosity of a stadium. Fuck your big boondoggle that will never, ever pay for itself, and still gave you a granite-and-limestone train station with shitty food. Fuck your engraved t-bones and fake frieze. Fuck you for stealing parkland from children. Fuck you in the eyeholes with prison dicks, Lonn Trost.

Fuck Francesa, Kay, Waldman and, most of all, fuuuuuuuuuuuucking Sterling. Fuck MFY mouthpiece, Bob Sheppard, MFY mouthpiece. Fuck your proud tradition of far-than-your-share of drunks, wife-beaters and phonies. Fuck "True Yankees" and your false gods of clutch.

Most of all, fuck you, diehards-since-the-90s who can't name your team's backup infielders, but wear a different-colored MFY hat every day to work, started the "Let's Go Yankees" chant that bled through my iPod earbuds and frightened the children on my train, and think that your team affiliation makes you more important than us. You make the rest of America hate us, you make the rest of the world hate us, and you make native New Yorkers understand why. Go break a rib or four in your parade, you insufferable shits, then hitch a ride home from Leyritz.[/quote:n339vu33]


Bad ass x 10!!!

[Guest Edgy DC]

That Ed Norton thingie sounded so arch and forced that it wasn't worthy of comparison.

Any honest New Yorker who had turned on his city with that much contempt would list Spike Lee about third on his list of vitriol targets.

[MFS62]

And fuck you former rant of the decade because you're now number 2.[/quote:7ucklng6]

Wait until all the replies are in, then place this post in the most hallowed of archives forums.

Keep it in a safe place. I'll want to refer to it many times in the future because it as a rant for the ages.

Later

[G-Fafif]

This needs to be recited in schools on Opening Day 2010.

[bmfc1]

Any honest New Yorker who had turned on his city with that much contempt would list Spike Lee about third on his list of vitriol targets.[/quote:3exzroky]

Spike Lee was the director. The character was trying to tell himself that he wouldn't miss NY when he was in prison.

[Guest Edgy DC]

I understand.

[Guest Number 6]

Bravo.

[MFS62]

OK,
Now that all the kudos seem to be in, where can we find out more about Kate and the magic vagina theories?

Later

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

This really was great.