Farmer Ted

Somebody please wake these f%$#@s up in the pen. Mr. Conti, you are the chosen one, therefore perform.

I read recently that the Tappen Zee was doing the suicide phone thing.

Found photo... http://www.nydailynews.com/img/2007/08/30/amd_suspect.jpg

What was he wearing? Of course... Phone camera snaps Queens subway perv BY RICH SCHAPIRO and TINA MOORE DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS Thursday, August 30th 2007, 9:21 AM A No. 7 train pervert who exposed himself to a 23-year-old wasn't smiling when the gutsy gal pulled out her cell phone and snapped his photo, cops said yesterday. The woman was on her way home to Manhattan from Flushing, Queens, at 4:19 p.m. Sunday when she noticed that another passenger had unzipped his jeans and exposed himself, Sgt. Steven Grabiec said. "He's not making any outward motion at all, doesn't look at her, doesn't say anything to her," Grabiec said. She noticed the man partially hiding himself with a newspaper as they neared the Junction Blvd. stop and then calmly took out her cell phone to snap a photo before dialing 911 from the train, which was running aboveground, cops said. The man got off at 82nd St. in Jackson Heights - three or four minutes after she first noticed him. He fled on foot, cops said. The man was described as 5-feet-4 and 170 pounds. He waswearing a Yankees shirt. Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at (800) 577-TIPS (8477).

From the game... First trip to Citzens Bank Park. Nicely done. Saw the Bull serving up some ribs. YYYBBB. You've seen one new ballpark, you've seen them all. Went with 7 Phils fans...obviously they're rooting for the home team but not obnoxious like the yahoos all around us. A few buses made the trip from Queens and those Mets fans were a dozen rows behind, keeping security on their toes. Good conversationlists mainly. At one point, turned around and saw Diamond Dad and ScarletKnight41 three rows behind me. Went back for a visit. Good to see some familiar faces FROM THE HOT AS HELL PICNIC.

Enrique Iglesias.

DWright.

That looks like Chris Woodward...no longer a Met but a MF Brave.

Omar Minaya in?

Was it Willy Mo for Arroyo?

Brian Lawrence, professional hitter.

Yeah, nuts, I could have hitched a ride on the Fullington Express and gotten drunk.

and the next line... ``That can be tough,'' she said. ``After a while, you run out of things to do.'' Did she not see that Whitesnake video with Tawny Kitaen?

Best (or worst) part of Rt. 22 between Altoona and Pittsburgh, the drive-through strip club. DELMONT, Pa. (AP) - You want pasties with that? In a country that offers everything from drive-through burgers to drive-through church services, a strip club near Pittsburgh has something new for those who can't stop in for lap dances - drive-through nudity. ``When they leave, customers are falling out laughing,'' said Nick Fratangelo, owner of the Climax Gentleman's Club in Salem Township on an isolated stretch of U.S. Route 22, about 35 miles east of Pittsburgh. Motorists pull around to a window at the back of the club, show proof they are 18 or older and pay $5 per minute. Then they pull up a few feet to a second window and watch a nude dancer for the amount of time they paid for. A 26-year-old Climax stripper who would identify herself only by her stage name, Barbie, said most customers pay for two to three minutes, but one man paid $100 for 20 minutes. ``That can be tough,'' she said. ``After a while, you run out of things to do.'' Climax opened the drive-through in April after employees bounced around ideas to attract customers, Fratangelo said. Bill Lyon, spokesman for the Free Speech Coalition, the Canoga Park, Calif.-based trade association for the adult entertainment industry, said Climax is likely the only strip club in the country to open a drive-through window. ``One of the many problems faced by adult clubs are problems of generally people attempting to say they have 'secondary effects,''' Lyon said, such as strippers inflaming customers enough to provoke sexual attacks. ``This is one way of really overcoming that,'' Lyon said. ``With this, there's no way you're going to touch that girl. It's pretty innovative.'' Township supervisor Ed Gieselman helped write a 1998 ordinance to regulate strip clubs. He called the drive- through an advertising gimmick designed to generate publicity. ``We objected to the sign (for the drive-through) being so close to the road, and they moved it back,'' he said. ``We have grammar school children going by there in school buses. Adult businesses should be a little obscure, I think, out of respect for the community.'' The club is next to a steep hill covered with thorny bushes that would slice the skin of anyone trying to get a free peek, and the window's design prevents such sneaky behavior. A canopy with a wall against the hill blocks a straight-on view of the window, and partitions on each side of the window force motorists to drive directly in front of it to see the stripper. Fratangelo said he has turned away ``maybe a couple'' of minors who tried to sneak through, and a few customers who tried to violate the no-camera rule faced bouncers who confiscated the film. ``They never got the flash off,'' Fratangelo said. Barbie said the drive-through has proven popular with couples - particularly on Friday or Saturday nights - and for carloads of women. ``We also get a lot of college kids who can't really afford the door, but they can afford the window,'' she said. ``It's a novelty to women and they don't have to spend the $15 to $20 for admission to the club.'' Fratangelo said he can't yet say whether the window has been a financial boon for the club. ``We're only in its second quarter. After five quarters, we'll know. It certainly hasn't hurt any, I'll say that.''

Saw a version of that at the game last night but it was orange with some gray in it.

We drove down and made the fatal mistake of taking the "shortcut" on Route 22. That tacked on another 70 minutes due to road construction. We go to the parking deck at 6:15 for F's sake. The pierogie race was fixed, the Pirate mascot never ventured more than three rows past the rail, and that goofball in the bleachers with the in-between-inning games is a dork. The jumbotron is still too small--I shouldn't have to squinit to see the players stats. Other than that, thumbs up

sent it, but wasn't given an option to save as a gif.

Farmer Ted not on the list. I will do Omar Minaya. I noticed that the BoSox folks did Theo.

From the game, you know the details. Looked like it was over before 7:30 and then that freaking ninth inning. Lots o' Mets fans in the joint and well behaved. Must be the western PA air that brings out the best in Mets fans. Slight drizzle in the 2nd or so had the big shots down front scrambling for cover. The thing I noticed most from last year to this at PNC, is that the ushers must have gone to Disney Training Camp. Friendly, offering to take photos, they would sprint down the aisles of the section where there is a foul ball (every time!) to make sure everyone is OK. Even the vendors hawking beer..."Hey thanks for ordering with me. My name's Lefty, enjoy the game." Mrs. Ted said, "where the fuck am I?" They allow strollers in the stadium and you can drop it off in a nice, clean, air conditioned guest relations office staffed by about a six people. I like that place.

I hope he has a bad night Wednesday, too. Teds in section 114. Last time we saw them in PIT they got humiliated in a three-game sweep and ruined my chance to see them clinch the pennant. Yup, it's all about me.

Tommy John managing in the indy league? Holy shit. Learn something new everyday.

I'll tell you what I know. I just called and got three tix at PNC 25 rows behind home plate for tomorrow night's John Maine instant classic. The Steelers started pre-season games, so baseball in the Steel City is OVER. Here's one from earlier this season in The Onion: PITTSBURGH�After five years of serving Pittsburgh as their state-of-the-art sporting facility, PNC Park, the home of the rundown, poorly maintained Pirates, said Tuesday it is threatening to leave Pittsburgh unless a new team can be built within the next three years. "I love the city of Pittsburgh, but the Pirates are an old, dilapidated club built from other teams' spare parts, and its very foundation is rotting away," the stadium said to reporters assembled in its press box. "I had every intention to stay here for the duration of my career as a ballpark, but given that I haven't seen any realistic long-term plans for improving my resident team's ramshackle condition, I would be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about taking my services elsewhere." The young stadium, regarded as one of the best of the recent crop of real-estate development projects throughout the league, added that "after this year's All Star Game, I have learned that a ballpark of my caliber deserves to host that kind of play every day." "The Pirates have become such an eyesore that I've even had to resort to bringing in different teams each week to play in me," the stadium said. Although Pirates owner Kevin McClatchy said he is doing everything in his power to keep the park in Pittsburgh�attempting a rebuilding process every few years, making small free-agent additions, and erecting a new six-foot-tall outfielder in left field�the stadium dismissed the moves as nothing more than "a fresh coat of paint on a team that's in danger of collapsing under its own weight." Mets owner Fred Wilpon has been vocal about his interest in bringing PNC Park to New York for the 2007 season so that it may take over for an aging Shea Stadium. "The New York Mets have all the necessary components in place to fulfill PNC Park's needs," Wilpon said. "We have a gleaming new shortstop in Jose Reyes. We have a visually stunning, jaw-dropping player in Carlos Beltran. And the infrastructure of our minor-league system is designed to ensure that PNC Park will be inhabited by great ballplayers for years to come." "Also, PNC Park has already established a good rapport and budding friendship with this year's Home Run Derby runner-up David Wright�the bedrock of our team's stability," Wilpon added. Though PNC Park would not elaborate on its relationship with Wright, it did say that Wright mentioned how much he enjoyed its dimensions, especially those in left and left-center. Pittsburgh fans were irate upon hearing news of the stadium's possible relocation. "If that ballpark left, this city would be devastated," said Pittsburgh resident Howard Valinsky. "I make a point of taking my kids down to the stadium during Pirates away games so they can stand outside of it and marvel at the rugged limestone and the blue steel�both of which have had an excellent year despite rainy conditions." Valisnky added: "The fact that McClatchy hasn't given this stadium the sort of beautiful, well-designed team it deserves is a travesty. Let's face it, the Pirates have been falling apart for years. Frankly, I find myself wondering if it's even safe for fans to be near them." The stadium echoed Valinsky's sentiments, saying, "The fans have been so great at being there for me. But if I can't hold a team that can compete, then what's supposed to hold me here?" In a last-ditch effort to keep PNC Park, a citywide referendum will be added to this year's midterm election that, if passed, would draw from a property-tax fund to aid McClatchy in assembling a new, state-of-the-art team by 2010. PNC Park, however, is not convinced. "When I came here in 2001, they promised me a championship team," the stadium said. "I was warned by venerable and much-beloved Three Rivers Stadium�which imploded soon afterwards, as you know�that I should look elsewhere, that this team was set in its ways and not focused on rebuilding, that they were simply using me as a means to make money," the stadium said. "I was young and brash and I didn't listen. Now that I am more mature and have settled a bit, I realize I have to do what is best for me and my family." In the event that the Pirate organization does not have the financial wherewithal to meet the park's demands, there are contingency plans in place to attract other stadiums to the city. While the league has said it frowns on the idea of putting an expansion stadium in the Pittsburgh area, some have floated the idea of bringing over old Tiger Stadium, which went into forced retirement in 2000.

Rizzuto, seven WS rings. Torre, one outlandish one on his pinky.

The Rizzuto family can go to this guy to get a suit for the wake. http://youtube.com/watch?v=LR3kAdhkF2Y

Do the MFYs put a black arm band on the other sleeve now? Seriously, I thought it sucked when he left the booth. He was the only enjoyable part of that team's broadcast through the 70s and 80s.