Vic Sage

Caveman movies do not have an estimable track record of critical or commercial success. Lets take a look, shall we? Portraying the "stone age" was popular in the silent era, including Buster Keaton ("Three Ages") and D.W. Griffith ("Bruteforce"), and later, Laurel & Hardy ("Flying Elephants"). ONE MILLION B.C. (1940) was produced and directed by Silent comedy king Hal Roach, but it was not a comedy ... at least not intentionally. Although more of a "B movie" (or a "BC" movie, actually), it was the first big studio cave man hit. With Lon Chaney challenged for the leadership of the tribe by young hunk Victor Mature, and the stunning Carole Landis as the cavegirl-next-door. In glorious Black & White, the cheezy effects were nominated for an Oscar! Before the technicolor remake with Raquel Welch 26 years later, there were a few other crappy little caveman movies: Return of the Ape Man (44) Prehistoric Women (50) World Without End (56) Teenage Caveman (58) Monster on the Campus (58) Dinosaurus! (60) Valley of the Dragons (61) Eegah! (62) Some, like PREHISTORIC WOMEN and TEENAGE CAVEMAN (with young Robert Vaughn), used the structure of 1 MIILION B.C., with prehistoric cave folk in their native habitat (absurdly depicted as it was). Other movies brought cavemen into the modern world (EEGAH, RETURN OF THE APE MAN, DINOSAURUS!), and some others put modern men into a prehistoric environment (VALLEY OF THE DRAGONS, WORLD WITHOUT END). These 3 basic storytelling tropes evolved into the entirety of the sub-genre. Then Raquel came along in Hammer Film's remake of 1 MILLION B.C. (1966) and sealed the deal, with her fur bikini-full of technicolor widescreen pulchritude. Ray Harryhausen great SFX dinosaurs made it memorable, too. The next year (1968) featured Charlton Heston amongst the primitive tribesmen of Earth's future, instead of its past, in PLANET OF THE APES; and then Stanley Kubrick took the caveman to its high water mark, in the 1st section of the historic 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. After that, some caveman movies took their cue from Ms. Welch's sexually charged cavewoman. From 1970-72, there were a trilogy of Italian sexploitation movies ("when women had tails""when women lost their tails", "when women played ding dong"... i shit you not). There was also the "modern man/prehistoric world" pics, like THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT (75) and its sequel, THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT (77), based on E.R. Burroughs books. The 1980s had satires, like Ringo Starr's CAVEMAN (81) and the sex comedy CAVEGIRL (85). CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR (86) wasn't supposed to be funny, but sure was. The decade's "cave man in his own world" movies also ncluded Jean-Jacque Annaud's QUEST FOR FIRE (82), which attempted seriousness and featured the discovery of the missionary position, amongst other prehistoric inventions. The italian exploitation film CONQUEROR OF THE WORLD (83) took the violence to repulsive levels, but the docu-drama style of MISSING LINK (88) gave the genre more credibility. In the "cave man in the modern world" line, ICEMAN (84) was a serious attempt to capture the sense of isolation inherent in this type of story. The regression of William Hurt into a primitive state in ALTERED STATES (80) was fun, but took itself way too seriously. This storyline is picked up with purely comic intent in the 90s with Brendan Fraser's ENCINO MAN. Soon after, THE FLINTSTONES (94) live-action comedy (and its sequel, VIVA ROCK VEGAS, in 2000), brings over-the-top cartoonishness to the forefront to bury the genre for good. And now, popmeister Emmerich has made a mishmash of the genre for a new generation, with cutting edge CGI SFX in "10,000 B.C." I hear it does suck hard, though. So i guess it won't recusitate this genre, one as old as the movie industry itself.

this makes me want to do an Alan Parker filmography. A really interesting filmmaker... even when he sucks.

Frayed Knot wrote: Never saw the original ... but I hope it asks me to buy fewer ridiculous situations and decisions by the characters than the end of this version did. fewer, yes. but still some. Yet certainly worth watching.

sharpie wrote: Good movie but holes in it. Biggest one: why did he get out of the car? while Monsieur Lunchbucket may be right, I don't think he got out for any specific reason related to the safety of the car or his situation. As i recall my feelings watching that moment, he saw the horses and was drawn to them for metaphysical, spiritual, thematic reasons. He felt so degraded and exhausted with his life at that moment, he needed to touch those horses... to feel something pure, beautiful, real, natural. And that impulse toward the pure ends up saving his life. It's as touching, quiet and haunting a scene of redemption as i've seen in recent years.

what horse would that be... Pegasus?

i'm not saying that there aren't tons of implausibilities in every film. In fact, I'm saying that there ARE. So, when people focus on implausibilities as the basis for why they don't like a particular movie, it seems to me they're not making an accurate analysis. It's not necessarily because the film is implausible that they don't like it, its because they don't like it that they are focusing on the implausibilities. pointing out implausibilities is called "nitpicking" when its about a film you like, and it's called "this story has holes so big you can drive a truck through them" when its one you don't. (note to self: remember to find a word equivalently short and pithy as "nitpicking" for this opposite situation.)

with regard to EASTERN PROMISES, i liked it very much. Mortensen continues to prove himself a strong movie presence... almost mythic, really. But i liked HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, too, so i'll let the rest of you debate the "implausibilities" inherent in the dreamlike cinema of David Cronenberg. At some point, i'm going to do a Cronenberg Filmography. He's been a really important and underrated filmmaker for a very long time.

don't get me started on the issue of "plausibility". In an analysis similar to the Chicago school of legal realism, "plausibility" is a complaint you make when you don't like a movie, its not the real REASON people dislike a movie. to put it another way... "legal realism" is a theory of jurisprudence in which judges, instead of gleaning the facts and applying them to the law to arrive at a legal opinion, have a viceral instintive reaction to a fact pattern (based on a range of their own emotional, logical, political, sociological reasons) and then have their clerks go find the judicial bases for the conclusion they've already come to. in movies, the similar analysis goes, we as viewers have an instinctive and viceral reaction to a film (for a host of reasons... some rational, some not), and then we find reasons to pick apart those films we don't like or to defend the films we do. "Plausiblity' is one of the prime excuses we use to justify our dislike of a movie. Vincent Canby once wrote an excellent Sunday Times column on this subject... its not that we don't like stories that are implausible, its that we find implausible the stories we don't like, and we stretch to find plausibility (or excuse implausibility) for the stories we like. Its just a theory. I happen to subscribe to it.

i vote 24, then 48. 72 hours is too long for both waivers and trades. If you can't check your site at least once every 2 days, then you deserve to be at a disadvantage.

beisbol bin berry berry good to me. I'm in, mi amigos.

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: And you should post more reviews here. don't have as much time these days.

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Most critics savaged 300. Why should I go?. Because, first of all, I think it is a foundation-shifting film that may well alter the basic paradigm of filmmaking the way that JAZZ SINGER, GONE WITH THE WIND, EASY RIDER, THE GODFATHER, BLADERUNNER and THE MATRIX did. Secondly, most critics who DID savage it did so more for thematic (i.e., political) reasons than aesthetic ones. There were also a core of critics who praised it highly.

2007 films that i have seen (with # of nominations): ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS - ** not good, but not as bad as the reviews ARE WE DONE YET? - * awful BECAUSE I SAID SO - ** mediocre chick flick BEOWULF - *** visually stunning but sterile BLADES OF GLORY - ** a few laughs THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM (3) - *** best of series BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA - *** touching DAN IN REAL LIFE - *** nice EVAN ALMIGHTY - * awful FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER - **1/2 add a * if you're a geek THE GAME PLAN - ** treacly crap GHOST RIDER - **1/2 cool effects, incomprensible story THE GOLDEN COMPASS (2) - **1/2 stunning, dull GRINDHOUSE - *** for Rodriguez's PLANET TERROR, ** for Tarentino's DEATH PROOF HAIRSPRAY - **** one of the best films of the year got zero nominations! HAPPILY N'EVER AFTER - * awful animation I AM LEGEND - ** 1/2 impressive visuals, mood; flawed storytelling JUNO (4) - *** 1/2 one of my faves this year KNOCKED UP - **1//2 strange combo of stupid and sweet LICENSE TO WED - ** flat romantic comedy LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD - *** good entry in series MEET THE ROBINSONS - *** solid MICHAEL CLAYTON (7) - **** best film of the year MR. MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM - ** floundering fantasy MUSIC AND LYRICS - *** sweet romantic comedy OCEAN'S THIRTEEN - * unwatchable ONCE (1) - *** simple, pure, moving PATHFINDER - * edited with pruning sheers PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END (2) - ** enough already SHREK THE THIRD - ** ditto THE SIMPSONS MOVIE - **1/2 solid tv episode SPIDER-MAN 3 - **1/2 going downhill STARDUST - *** underrated fantasy SUPERBAD - * i couldn't get through it SURF'S UP (1) - **1/2 just ok SWEENEY TODD THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET (3) - ***1/2 dark musical adaptation works well TMNT - ** feh 300 - **** my favorite movie of the year 3:10 TO YUMA (2) - **1/2 some good action, some good perfs, lame remake TRANSFORMERS (3) - *** very solid action pic 28 WEEKS LATER - **1/2 more zombie fun UNDERDOG - ** like ALVIN; bad, but not terrible WILD HOGS - ** the boys need another hobby ZODIAC - **1/2 dull thriller Other films with Oscar nominations: ACROSS THE UNIVERSE - (1) AMERICAN GANGSTER - (2) ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES - (2) ATONEMENT - (7) AUGUST RUSH - (1) AWAY FROM HER - (2) CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR - (1) THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY - (4) EASTERN PROMISES - (1) ELIZABETH: GOLDEN AGE - (2) ENCHANTED - (3) GONE BABY GONE - (1) I'M NOT THERE - (1) IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH - (1) INTO THE WILD - (2) THE KITE RUNNER - (1) LA VIE EN ROSE - (3) LARS AND THE REAL GIRL - (1) NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - (8) NORBIT - (1) PERSEPOLIS - (1) RATATOUILLE - (5) THE SAVAGES - (2) SICKO (1) THERE WILL BE BLOOD - (8) Well-reviewed films with no nominations: BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD THE BRAVE ONE BREACH THE DARJEELING LIMITED THE HOAX THE LOOKOUT LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA MAN IN THE CHAIR A MIGHTY HEART RENDITION WAITRESS THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY YEAR OF THE DOG This year's most egregiously overlooked film: (tie) HAIRSPRAY, 300

AG/DC wrote: There wasn't anybody hip or ironic in Fast Times, though. I thought it was the film's saving grace that nobody was superior. No real first-person stuff. No real protagonist, either. Judge Rheinhold's character comes the closest to standing out ("Hope you had a nice piss, Arnold!"), but they're a bunch of mini-protaginoists who we don't get close enough to engage with their angst. agreed about FAST TIMES' lack of irony. That's why it was on the 2nd list of titles that suffered from an "irony deficiency", thus not really fitting into the genre as i defined it.

Pregnancy isn't a required element of the genre. Just a young protagonist or two through whose eyes we get to see their angst (either due to dysfunctional family dynamic, school or peer pressures, etc), but done with ironic humor and low key, off-beat characters.

The evolution of a sub-genre: The Quirky / American / Coming-of-age / Indie-style / Dramedy �Juno� represents a style of �off beat comedy� that features at least 1 teen protagonist coming of age in a dysfunctional situation, punctuated with humorously ironic observation and post-modern cinematic style and (sometimes) a cool soundtrack. Other examples of the genre: Harold & Maude � the granddaddy of the genre. Dazed & Confused Heathers Pump up the Volume American Beauty Ghost World Donnie Darko Rushmore Squid & the Whale What�s eating Gilbert Grape Welcome to the Doll�s House Slums of Beverly Hills Virgin Suicides Igby Goes Down Palindromes Tadpole Running With Scissors Angus Outside Providence Mystic Pizza Art School Confidential Little Miss Sunshine Opposite of Sex The following titles are good movies that DO NOT FIT THE GENRE due to an irony deficiency: Night of the Comet Better Off Dead One Crazy Summer Pretty In Pink Breakfast Club American Pie Valley Girl Clueless Ferris Beuhller Fast Times at Ridgemont High Flamingo Kid Cooley High American Graffitti Stand By Me some UK examples: If... Wish You Were Here Gregory's Girl

I've only seen 9 of the nominated films, and I'd rank them as follows: Michael Clayton - solid legal thriller - *** Juno - *** Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - *** --- Once - ** 1/2 The Bourne Ultimatum - ** 1/2 Transformers - ** 1/2 --- 3:10 to Yuma - ** Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - ** The Golden Compass - *1/2

Best motion picture of the year "Atonement" "Juno" "Michael Clayton" "No Country for Old Men" "There Will Be Blood" Performance by an actor in a leading role George Clooney in "Michael Clayton" Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah" Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises" Performance by an actor in a supporting role Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War" Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild" Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton" Performance by an actress in a leading role Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" Julie Christie in "Away from Her" Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" Laura Linney in "The Savages" Ellen Page in "Juno" Performance by an actress in a supporting role Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" Ruby Dee in "American Gangster" Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement" Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone" Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" Achievement in directing Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Jason Reitman, "Juno" Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton" Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men" Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood" Adapted screenplay "Atonement", Screenplay by Christopher Hampton "Away from Her", Written by Sarah Polley "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", Screenplay by Ronald Harwood "No Country for Old Men", Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen "There Will Be Blood", Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson Original screenplay "Juno", Written by Diablo Cody "Lars and the Real Girl", Written by Nancy Oliver "Michael Clayton", Written by Tony Gilroy "Ratatouille", Screenplay by Brad Bird "The Savages", Written by Tamara Jenkins Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score) "Atonement", Dario Marianelli "The Kite Runner", Alberto Iglesias "Michael Clayton", James Newton Howard "Ratatouille", Michael Giacchino "3:10 to Yuma", Marco Beltrami Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song) "Falling Slowly" from "Once" (Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova) "Raise It Up" from "August Rush" "Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted" (Music/Alan Menken; Lyric/ Stephen Schwartz) "So Close" from "Enchanted" (Music/Alan Menken; Lyric/ Stephen Schwartz) "That's How You Know" from "Enchanted" (Music/Alan Menken; Lyric/ Stephen Schwartz) Best animated feature film of the year "Persepolis" "Ratatouille" "Surf's Up" Best documentary feature "No End in Sight" "Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience" "Sicko" "Taxi to the Dark Side" "War/Dance" Best foreign language film of the year "Beaufort" - Israel "The Counterfeiters" - Austria "Katyn" - Poland "Mongol" - Kazakhstan "12" - Russia Achievement in art direction "American Gangster" "Atonement" "The Golden Compass" "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" "There Will Be Blood" Achievement in cinematography "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" "Atonement" "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" "No Country for Old Men" "There Will Be Blood" Achievement in costume design "Across the Universe" "Atonement" "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" "La Vie en Rose" "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Achievement in film editing "The Bourne Ultimatum" "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" "Into the Wild" "No Country for Old Men" "There Will Be Blood" Achievement in makeup "La Vie en Rose" "Norbit" "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" Achievement in sound editing "The Bourne Ultimatum" "No Country for Old Men" "Ratatouille" "There Will Be Blood" "Transformers" Achievement in sound mixing "The Bourne Ultimatum" "No Country for Old Men" "Ratatouille" "3:10 to Yuma" "Transformers" Achievement in visual effects "The Golden Compass" "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" "Transformers" Best documentary short subject "Freeheld" "La Corona (The Crown)" "Salim Baba" "Sari's Mother" Best animated short film "I Met the Walrus" "Madame Tutli-Putli" "M�me Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)" "My Love (Moya Lyubov)" "Peter & the Wolf" Best live action short film "At Night" "Il Supplente (The Substitute)" "Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)" "Tanghi Argentini" "The Tonto Woman"

nice date movie for me and the missus.

loved the original the remake... not so much.

soupcan wrote: Do you have some kind of cinematic almanac lying around or do you just grab this stuff off the top of your head? A combination of both. When i do lists like this, first i throw down the titles that come to mind. Then, i do a search on IMDB to pick up some stragglers. I assure you, i didn't know about DELUGE, BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS or DEADLY MANTIS off the top of my head.

How about young Stevie McQueen leading his small town of Chester Springs against a blob from outer space in 1958's THE BLOB? Is that close enough?

Movies often do serious damage to NYC. Sometimes, like in CLOVERFIELD, the disaster is from a monster, alien, supernatural being or giant robot: Godzilla (98) Ghostbusters I, II Independence Day Beast From 20,000 fathoms Deadly Mantis King Kong (33, 76, 05) Sky captain & the world of tomorrow Sometimes, like in I AM LEGEND, we bring our doom upon ourselves: The Siege Escape From NY Gangs of NY Daylight World Trade Center 16 Blocks Daybreak Sometimes, its a result of natural disaster: Day After Tomorrow Armageddon Deep Impact Deluge (1933) and superheroes are constantly doing damage to NYC: Daredevil Fantastic 4 Men In Black Spider-man Superman X-Men, and My Super ex-Girlfriend not to mention such other NY disasters as "Hercules in NY" and "Can't Stop the Music"!

Benjamin Grimm wrote: I was expecting to see Eight Men Out for Chicago. DOH! Cheerleaders, shmearleaders, San Diego had The Kid from Left Field. DOH DOH!

here are the cities with baseball-related movies (or, at least some tenuous connection to baseball or sports) EAST New York - BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY / PRIDE OF THE YANKEES Philadelphia - THE WINNING TEAM Atlanta - THE SLUGGER'S WIFE Washington D.C. - DAMN YANKEES Miami - ANY GIVEN SUNDAY (football) Baltimore - DINER (Colts fan) Boston - FEVER PITCH Tampa Bay - THE ROOKIE Toronto - OWNING MAHONEY (gambler's addiction) CENTRAL Chicago - [on edit] EIGHT MEN OUT / ROOKIE OF THE YEAR Cincinnati - THE CINCINNATI KID (poker) Cleveland - MAJOR LEAGUE Detroit - COBB Houston - BAD NEWS BEARS II (1977) Kansas City - KANSAS CITY BOMBER (roller derby) Milwaukee - MR. 3000 Minneapolis - LITTLE BIG LEAGUE Pittsburgh -ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD (1951) St.Louis - PRIDE OF ST. LOUIS WEST Anaheim - ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD (1995) Arizona - JERRY MAGUIRE (Arizona cardinals) Colorado - CITY SLICKERS (Crystal's Mets hat) Los Angeles - BAD NEWS BEARS (1976) / THE SANDLOT Oakland - NORTH DALLAS 40 (Matuzak) San Diego - [on edit] THE KID FROM LEFT FIELD San Francisco - THE FAN Seattle - LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT (baseball player boyfriend) Texas - THE ROOKIE