Fman99

I hope Freddie Mercury can get a hit here.

I'm suffering through the MFY announcers up here, who keep pumping up the impending appearance of "Frankie the Chicken Man." I hope he rams it down their fucking throats. Meanwhile, nice double for Turner. Let's tack on, mmmkay?

Swan Swan H wrote: Sit down, you washed-up narcissist. But, but, I was going to go to the kitchen and get a snack! Fine, I'll get back on the couch.

Nice hit by Sugarpants there! Way to get one back.

John Cougar Lunchbucket wrote: Nah, Jo had little to say what with Blair's shopping trip dominating the proceedings. It was a Very Special Episode which was mostly Tootie and a would-be friend/hooker at a coffee shop. A clever comedic parallel had Mrs. Garrett mistaking a man looking to scalp Broadway tickets as a John trying to get 2 of Blair/Jo/Natalie. I swear I didn't just masturbate to old photos of the "Facts of Life" cast, [crossout]including[/crossout] featuring Mrs. Garrison.

Ah, the beauty of the inner monologue. CATCHER: "You may remember me from such films as To Not Hit or Field in L.A. and Tool of Ignorance." FIRST BASE: "Mama always said, stupid is as stupid does." SECOND BASE: "Yeah, I spelled 42 backwards, so what, you wanna fight about it?" THIRD BASE: "See that chick up in the fourth row with the broad shoulders? I'm taking her home tonight. Yeah, I'm sure that's a chick." SHORTSTOP: "Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig never shilled for shitty American auto manufacturers? Am I still a Yankee legend?" LEFT FIELD: "I'm so old my momma went to breastfeed me and she lifted up her boob and a pilgrim fell out." CENTER FIELD: "Can't get the song out of my head... 'The Grandy Man Can, oh THE GRANDY MAN CAN!'" RIGHT FIELD: "In retrospect, sleeping with Suzyn Waldman was not a good idea. It was a TREMENDOUS idea." Pitching Matchups: Friday - Jon Niese vs: "Have I ever pitched here before? I can't misremember." Saturday: Chris Young vs: "My mama is so ugly, I pushed her face into dough and made gorilla cookies." Sunday: R.A. Dickey vs: "Hey, are you going to finish those?" DH: Not allowed, playing actual baseball this weekend Bench: Not pictured, who cares Bullpen: Fuck them Notable DL: "Hey, can someone swim down to the bottom of the deep end, see what that is? What the hell is that? Jeez, looks like a bag of leaves or something."

Jon Niese vs Andy the Rat Faced Boy

Well, that ended well, at least.

More ugh. Bases loaded walks make me sad.

Ugh. One out left to get.

Kevin Burkhardt is no Gary Cohen.

Iced coffee is the cure for intercity rivalry baseball and ham-fisted acting.

Muffie working the Keith Hernandez 'stache. He looks like a billion damn dollars. Fwife: "Is that even real?" Me: "Yes." Fwife: "Gross."

Cheers to the brunette on the first base line in the white tank top. Jeers to the big dope in left center to turn Wright's double into a ground rule double, costing Torres a run. Go home, dick.

Dillon Gee vs Brian Matusz.

Send him to Congress! Have an inquiry! Oh, wait. Never mind.

Crisp, sharp baseball. Making the O's look like a bunch of rubes.

Johan versus some turd... I smell a winning streak.

Put that in your books you fuckers!

Really Awesome

Ashie62 wrote: Pettitte would not roll on him. It was between the brothers, Kay.

Jake Arietta vs. Regularly Awesome Dickey. He's the man to get us off the shnide methinks.

Blecch. Not on TV locally but I listened to the last 3 innings on my phone while lounging outside. Shitty weekend for Mets baseball.

That sucked.