Edgy MD

MVP for Buffalo. One of two Mets from Hattiesburg, MS.

But as far as linking them together as the four specific figures defining the presidency, that's a specific reference to Mt. Rushmore. After each race, they even show the standings with the four caricatures depicted on Mt. Rushmore. Washington, of course, didn't even work in Washington. It would be more interesting if they worked all the presidents in and out of the lineup. At least all the dead ones. You could even put FDR in a racing chair. They could race in earnest, too, instead of making Teddy take the fall all the time.

Kaplan closed out one of those wins, I believe.

A recent TV graphic suggested the Mets are having one of the worst first halves ever by a team who was above .500 in their first half. Is it comforting to know we're not the only disaster in baseball? Maybe good for a penny on the dollar. But it is interesting. Misery loves Cleveland and all that. Here's the comparison, assuming KC hangs on to their one-run lead tonight and beats the Indians one more time. FirstHalfSecondHalf TeamWinsLossesPercentageWinsLossesPercentageDifferenceCleveland4441.5181848.273.245New York4640.5352143.328.207 Wow! You know, it's probably our win over the Marlins talking, but that does make me feel a little better. Like, maybe four or five cents on the dollar.

Holy shit, they won! Seven runs at home! I'm going to go out and see another terrible film tomorrow!

God, I hope I'm not too late. Listen, this is an embarrassingly bad movie and a worse baseball movie. I'm sorry to all of you that I even brought it up. Stay away. Watch Clint talk to the chair. Watch the Mets. Just don't watch this. I'll give it two stars, maybe one and half, because I generally reserve lower ratings for things that are Satanic, and this isn't malicious, so much as horribly and hamfistedly rendered. But, well, you might get angry. I did. That scene I wrote up top. That would have improved this film. And i say that as no compliment to myself. On second thought, I'm giving them too much credit. Being that the working title of the movie was probably Fuck You, Moneyball, it kinda was conceived in malice, at least to some degree. One and half stars for you, Trouble with the Curve, and it gives me no pleasure to say so. My scouting judgment is that you look like an A-ball flameout.

Davey. Johnson.

Visions of Fred Lewis are the first symptom... Absolutely. The first few batters made sense, I dug in, and there I was, riding out the string semi-consciously like a 2012 Met.

I don't know how I do these things. Sometimes I'm aware. Othertimes... Think I need a neurological workup. I mean, as disengaged as I might be, I actually followed the last three innings last night.

Born to Win Looking-Good Lewis, cf Drop-Kick Murphy, 2b We-Have-the Wright, 3b Wake-Up-It's-a-Brand-New Davis, 1b There's-a-Million-Fine-Looking-Women-in-the-World Duda, lf There-Is-a-Season Turner, ss I'll-Scratch-Your Baxter, rf My-Car-Is-in-the Shoppach, c And, um, Hefner is pitching

It's a line of thinking that makes a simple problem needlessly complex. The Mets don't have the personnel to contend. To suggest some kind of malfeasance on the part of the players, who are playing for jobs next season, avoids blaming the sheer lack of talent on the Mets organization. It was the fucking question Collins was asked, Howard.

I appreciate the whole Polo Grounds deep green seats, but it may be a good time to think about painting them happy orange and other playground colors again like at Shea. I mean, we're seeing a lot of the seats these days. Actually, I'm wondering if the outfield walls may turn out to be a good precedent. We lobby passionately for one retro-fit, Shea-referencing architectural feature each season, and in 40 years or so, they might more or less be playing in Shea again. Of course, if there's only 90 fans left to lobby...

Clint Eastwood, appearing in a movie he didn't direct for the first time in two decades, plays an aging baseball scout in sort of an anti-Moneyball movie. I'm sure as a baseball movie, it'll be crazy stupid. And my wife finds Amy Adams to be way too squeaky, but I'm putting all that aside and lining up for this to-NITE. Actually, I'd have loved to have gotten a chance to write this movie: "You can't scout a ballplayer with a computer. What you've got to do is go up to the kid and punch him in his fucking face. Kick him a few times and call him a pussy, and then you... What's everybody looking at?! You want a ballplayer, don'tcha? How do you think I knew how Eddie Murray would turn out? I punched him in his fucking face! Jack Clark, Tom Niedenfuer... all the greats. I punched Brien Taylor in the face and he laid on the ground crying. I knew that kid was for shit, I told the Yankees so, and they went and drafted him anyway. WHAT THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY LOOKIN' AT?!! Jesus!!" Writes itself.

Cain vs Astros: 3 G, 2-0, 1.19 ERA, 22.2 IP, 4 BB, 25 SO.

Yes it was. He tore his plantar fascia, was sent to St. Lucie for rehab in August, and after a few days, he was shut down. That makes four shutdowns.

I'm happy for Davey, who's dressing in Navy, and I guess I'll root for them, as another championship could well get him in the Hall of Fame, which he deserves despite being undermined by his superiors at most stops (the Mets mostly being an exception, surprisingly). He could possibly even get bronzed in a Mets hat when he gets there. But when you see how much this organization is self-consciously and tentatively trying to be like their idea of a baseball franchise, these guys really make the Mets' leadership look like a self-confident, self-aware bunch. [list:2gr7tfjw][*:2gr7tfjw]We still don't know what their base color is and what they're secondary color is.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]We still don't know whether the DC insignia or the W insignia is the defining one.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]The shiny gold drop shadow is pretty much the ugliest thing on any big league uniform.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]The President's Race a forced, boiled-down stolen tradition.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]Washington/Jefferson/TRoosevelt/Lincoln represent a South Dakota landmark, not a DC one.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]The fans --- as noted elsewhere --- behave as if they saw Phillies fans acting up in latenight highlights on the widescreen TVs in their McMansions, and thought, "That's cool! I'm going to be hardcore like that."[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]The WWF announcer, who I've bitched about too many times to name.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw] [*:2gr7tfjw]Routinely hiring backslapping fools as broadcasters.[/*:m:2gr7tfjw][/list:u:2gr7tfjw] They're just such a faux team for our faux times.

I thought maybe. Hard to tell. I think it's a faded navy W hat. Seriously, though. Look at these folks. Like the opening ceremonies of the Douche Olympics. I gotta move.

How do you get such sweet seats in a ballpark with such wealthy fans and not know that "play offs" is one word?

I would imagine it would say "Florida/Miami, N.L., 2011-2012."

I feel like I jinxed the guy just by recounting those numbers. Gio Gonzalez against the Marlins: 0-2, 3.86 in two starts covering 14 innings. Johnny Cueto is 4-0 0.95 in four starts and 28.1 innings ag'in' the Cubs. I imagine most candidates get fat on somebody.

I had thought Ford was to play Leo Durocher. I'm looking forward to it, although them being unable to come up with a better title than 42 kind of makes me leery.

Dickey 4-0, 1.16 against the Marlins this year. Four starts, 31 innings, 4 ER, 8 hits, 1 shutout, 24 strikeouts and zero effing walks. They're slashing at .195 / .235 / .283 // .518. He's basically turned them into a lineup of Jonathon Nieses. Keep that magic going for one more start, Remaining Attraction.

Smelled like something was eliminated last night.

The full top ten for good measure: 1) Edward Emil Kranepool (1962-1979): 1,418 2) David Allen Wright (2004-Current): 1,414 3) Jos� Bernabe Reyes (2003-2011): 1,300 4) Cleon Joseph Jones (1963-1975): 1,188 5) Edgardo Antonio Alfonzo (1995-2002): 1,136 6) William Hayward "Mookie" Wilson (1980-1989): 1,112 7) Derrel McKinley "Bud" Harrelson (1965-1977): 1,029 8) Michael Joseph Piazza (1998-2005): 1,028 9) Darryl Eugene Strawberry (1983-1990): 1,025 10) Howard Michael Johnson (1984-1993): 997 For comparison, here's the placement of other non-pitching personnel on the current team: ... 41) Carlos Delgado: 468 42) Daniel Murphy: 454 43) Cliff Floyd: 440 ... ... 64) Timo Perez: 297 T65) Ike Davis: 284 T65) Paul Lo Duca: 284 67) Carlos Baerga: 283 ... 74) Lenny Randle: 258 75) Ruben Tejada: 257 T76) Joe McEwing: 255 T76) Roy McMillan: 255 ... 86) Rico Brogna: 237 87) Josh Thole: 236 88) Carl Everett: 231 ... ... 92) Charley Smith: 228 93) Jason Bay: 227 94) Roberto Alomar: 226 ... ... 102) Mike Cameron: 198 103) Lucas Duda: 195 104) Joe Torre: 193 ... ... 121) Rickey Henderson: 159 T122) Matt Franco: 158 T122) Justin Turner: 158 124) Jesse Gonder: 155 ... ... 154) Chico Walker: 118 155) Scott Hairston: 117 156) Brett Butler: 114 ... ... T199) Juan Samuel: 76 T199) Joe Foy: 76 T201) Andr�s Torres: 75 T201) Ron Darling: 75 T203) Richard Hidalgo: 74 T203) Gary Sheffield: 74 ... ... T206) Jeff McKnight: 72 T206) Willie Randolph: 72 T208) Raul Gonzalez: 71 T208) Kirk Nieuwenhuis: 71 209) Xavier Nady: 70 ... ... T233) Shane Spencer: 52 T233) Gene Woodling: 52 T235) Garry Templeton: 50 T235) John Valentin: 50 T235) Mike Baxter: 50 T235) Mike Bordick: 50 T239) Rod Gaspar: 49 T239) Jerry Morales: 49 T239) Bobby Pfeil: 49 ... ... T249) Karim Garcia: 45 T249) Matt Lawton: 45 T251) Sammy Taylor: 44 T251) Jordany Valdespin: 44 T251) Danny Garcia: 44 T251) Steve Trachsel: 44 T251) Rick Reed: 44 T251) Chris Carter: 44 257) Ronny Cede�o: 43 T258) Tony Phillips: 42 T258) Kevin Collins: 42 T258) George "The Stork" Theodore: 42 ... ... 295) Johan Santana: 32 T296) Fernando Vina: 31 T296) Dick Smith: 31 T296) Mike Nickeas: 31 T296) Billy Murphy: 31 T296) R. A. Dickey: 31 301) Bob Ojeda: 30 ... ... T352) Jason Isringhausen: 19 T352) George Stone: 19 T352) Andy Tomberlin: 19 T352) Jim McAndrew: 19 T352) Rich Becker: 19 T352) Benny Ayala: 19 T352) Dick Stuart: 19 T352) Orlando Mercado: 19 T360) Jos� Cardenal: 18 T360) Tom Veryzer: 18 T360) Jos� Offerman: 18 T360) Omar Quintanilla: 18 T360) Lute Barnes: 18 T360) Tracy Stallard: 18 T360) Galen Cisco: 18 T367) Mike Cubbage: 17 T367) Pedro Martinez: 17 T367) Steve Bieser: 17 T367) Darrin Jackson: 17 T367) Dick Selma: 17 T367) Don Cardwell: 17 ... ... T386) Jon Nunnally: 14 T386) Jerry Martin: 14 T386) Pat Howell: 14 T386) Doug Saunders: 14 T386) Mike DiFelice: 14 T386) Bob Shaw: 14 T386) Dennis Ribant: 14 T386) Ed Bouchee: 14 T394) Bubba Trammell: 13 T394) Kevin Kobel: 13 T394) Orlando Hernandez: 13 T394) Hobie Landrith: 13 T394) Jae Seo: 13 T394) Kelly Shoppach: 13 T394) Rob Johnson: 13 T394) Joe Pignatano: 13 T402) Brian Bohanon: 12 T402) Armando Reynoso: 12 T402) Skip Lockwood: 12 T402) Danny Frisella: 12 T402) Luis Rivera: 12 T402) Wally Whitehurst: 12 T402) Robinson Cancel: 12 T402) Masato Yoshii: 12 T402) Pat Tabler: 12 T402) Pete Schourek: 12 T402) Mike Howard: 12 Single Digit Hit Club (Class of 2012): Vinny Rottino: 6 Josh Satin: 5 (0 in 2012) Fred Lewis: 2 Zach Lutz: 1

Assault isn't courage. It's cowardice. The problem certainly isn't an unwillingness to throw at people. I believe there were, in fact, two hit batsmen for Philadelphia.