It was basketball jersey giveaway night. I got there early and was carrying mine in its plastic bag when I went to the Goya to get nachos. "You want to trade?" the guy fixing my nachos says. "I give you this tray, and a drink." I thought about it for a moment and said hell yes. Nachos and a Corona for a tank top I'll never actually wear. I thought that brought some magic to the evening but in the end my main takeaway was that Alonso sucks, sac fly and all.