Baseball humor

[Centerfield]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: soupcan wrote: Wait - we're not allowed to make Trump jokes? I know I've been absent for a while, but thats a bit fucked up. That's completely untrue.

BG missing the opportunity to call out FAKE NEWS.

[Centerfield]

Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

[Guest cooby]

G-Fafif wrote: Gfafif why is there a blueberry under your mike vail? I don't know, Cooby. Why is there a blueberry under my Mike Vail?

Well if I press your blueberry I go to your website! Cool!


Edit: hey! Ben Grimm too!

[G-Fafif]

cooby wrote: cooby wrote: Gfafif why is there a blueberry under your mike vail? I don't know, Cooby. Why is there a blueberry under my Mike Vail? Well if I press your blueberry I go to your website! Cool! Edit: hey! Ben Grimm too!

That is cool, though I don't see the blueberry on whatever it is I'm looking at.

I thought the question was part of the gag, which, if so, my answer was going to be "because Mike Vail was no Strawberry."

[G-Fafif]

I don't see a blueberry, but I see a globe, as in World Wide Web, and that takes me to my site.

[Guest cooby]

Ha! Looks like a blueberry on my phone.

Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

He can't pitch and tweet at the same time

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

Becuase he's going to die in prison?

[Centerfield]

All of those are true, but not the answer we are looking for.


Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

[bmfc1]

batmagadanleadoff wrote: bmfc1 wrote: "I want to grab you by the pussy." Oh I'm sorry, that's Trump. Hey! That's the second Trump joke you made this week in the Baseball Forum. Good for you that you're not me 'cause if you were, you couldn't imagine the shrieking and over the top hysterics with calls for safe spaces and bans and tortures that would ensue if I made that joke. Then they'd call me all sorts of bad names for another couple of days and create four or five different threads to bust my balls but as soon as I responded, the guy with the mod hat would chastise me. Could you believe that fucking **** Ivanka who goes on national network television to campaign for her father for President who, if nothing else, vowed to destroy Roe v. Wade but then wants the liberals to think she's on the side of women's rights?

Thank you for remembering, batmagadanleadoff. To clarify, the other Trump reference was an insightful and clever commentary on the ESPN "Win Probability" stat in which I brilliantly tied it the pollsters, especially Nate Cohn in The Times, who gave Hillary an overwhelming chance of winning. That was less of a Trump joke and more of a ESPN or Nate Cohn joke. But I don't want to disappoint the crowd so I'll make another one post haste!

Edited April 11, 2017 by Guest

[bmfc1]

Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener?

Because they don't play baseball in Russia.

[G-Fafif]

bmfc1 wrote: Centerfield wrote: Why did Trump decline the invitation to throw out the first pitch of the Nats' opener? Because they don't play baseball in Russia.

I would think he'd welcome the opportunity to be Putin one over the plate.

[Centerfield]

All very good guesses! And while we would have accepted "Because he's a dickhead fascist that doesn't deserve to be anywhere near something as noble as baseball", that's not the specific answer we are looking for.

Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote.

[soupcan]

centerfield wrote: No! No Trump jokes allowed. Nor can you say anything about climate change, or reference any act of terrorism not committed by middle-eastern muslims. Nor can you say anything about climate change, or reference any act of terrorism not committed by middle-eastern muslims. And I know, it seems somewhat oppressive, but you are now allowed to grab anyone by the pussy and make lewd comments about your own daughter.

Oh gosh so much to remember...

Ok I think I get it. Normally I think I'd be upset with all the restrictions but the pussy-grabbing definitely softens the blow.

[G-Fafif]

soupcan wrote: the pussy-grabbing definitely softens the blow.

That's what she said?

[Benjamin Grimm]

Centerfield wrote: Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote.

Because he didn't want to prick his gonfalon bubble?

[bmfc1]

Centerfield wrote: Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote.

"Take Me Out To Mar-a-Lago
Take me at the taxpayer's expense."

[Guest 41Forever]

G-Fafif wrote: soupcan wrote: the pussy-grabbing definitely softens the blow. That's what she said?

Ahem. Hands off.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Centerfield wrote: Our answer involves punning a famous baseball quote.

Because he heard that "nice guys finish last."

(That one makes NO sense at all.)

[Guest cooby]

There's no lying in baseball?

[Guest cooby]

Love that cat! I need to get six little Mets jackets!

[Benjamin Grimm]

cooby wrote: There's no lying in baseball?

Good one!

[G-Fafif]

All threads should devolve into pictures of cats in Mets apparel.

[Guest 41Forever]

cooby wrote: Love that cat! I need to get six little Mets jackets!

[Guest cooby]

Lololololol!

[Guest 41Forever]

No, Mr. Met! Not literally!

It was too late.

[Centerfield]

cooby wrote: There's no lying in baseball?

Winner!

[Guest cooby]

Yay!

Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes?

(And Hello, Kitty!)

[Frayed Knot]

cooby wrote: Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes?

Because Babe Ruth would have looked even fatter otherwise.
We also would have accepted as answers: Yogi Berra, Elston Howard, Goose Gossage, Thurman Munson, Steve Balboni, Mark Teixeira, or Gary Sanchez*




* who, btw, is out for at least the next month with a "strained biceps", aka: steroid overdose

[G-Fafif]

We also would have accepted C.C. Sabathia.

[Centerfield]

cooby wrote: Why do the Yankees wear pinstripes?

To prepare Chad Curtis for his later stint in jail.

We would have also accepted as answers: Jim Leyritz, Chuck Knoblauch, Rusty Torrez, Aroldis Chapman, Mel Hall, Joba Chamberlain, Alex Rodriguez, Mariano Rivera...