Liver/Crane: I'm Not Half the Contest I Used to Be/POLL OVER

[batmagadanleadoff]

Three Day Poll.... Top Four Advance....


[fimg=252:2hzthag1]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7097/13391044304_3360f01f5f_o.jpg[/fimg:2hzthag1] [fimg=222:2hzthag1]http://img0.etsystatic.com/005/0/6420618/il_570xN.401718414_11e0.jpg[/fimg:2hzthag1] [fimg=252:2hzthag1]https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3802/13369543514_2cda0d54a8_o.jpg[/fimg:2hzthag1]
[fimg=252:2hzthag1]http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTAyNFgxMDEw/$(KGrHqVHJ!8E63SLiGFDBOy7SfjSYw~~60_57.JPG[/fimg:2hzthag1] [fimg=212:2hzthag1]http://beyondbreed.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/When-Im-Sixty-Four-64-Versions.jpg[/fimg:2hzthag1] [fimg=252:2hzthag1]https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2889/13369548703_5aec2f2f35_o.jpg[/fimg:2hzthag1]

Edited March 23, 2014 by Guest

[batmagadanleadoff]

If I Needed Elster

If I need a guy who's all glove
You're the guy that I'd be thinking of
An all-glove, no-bat someone

If the HoJo dream's a dead end.
Then I'll a try an Elster-HoJo blend
A two-head, shorstop someone

Yeah he's got some Sunday power
But he hits two-twenty-six
All his value's wrapped up in his glove

Is your number two, fifteen,
Or twenty-one? What does it mean to me?
Just don't allow an earned run

Ahhhh..., ahhh....

If you leave and sign elsewhere
It best be somewhere with thin air, I think
If you want a homerun

Had your bat been like your defense
Then it might not have been like this
But you see you're tagged "no bat, good glove"

Twenty-four homeruns in Texas
Fame, success, and wealth and sex, I see
And deep steroid suspicion

Ahhhh..., ahhh....

jjm28jTZDw8

[batmagadanleadoff]

TAGGED TOGETHER
Here come old Jeff Kent
He come rounding third slowly
He got Dodger eyeballs
Trained on Paul LoDuca
He got tagged down below his knee
On relay throw from Jose Valentin

Stay in the baseline
Got to hold the baseball
Tag another slider
Into Paul LoDuca
He say, �I�m out too, you tagged me.
In the first game of the Wild Card series.�
Tagged together, right now
By Paul LoDee


For bat production
He got H-Growth hormone
He got Stanozolol
He got acne back and
He got number of Kirk Radomski
Spread drug use in the clubhouse
Like a Typhoid Mary
Use together, right now
With Paul LoDee

Grew up a Met fan
Ate his Daddy�s pizza
Out in Arizona
He wore Gooden�s number
He dates skanks and young baseball Annies
Got to be discrete
Because he�s married you see
Both together right now
with Paul LoDee

Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah
Come together, yeah

[youtube:b6i4k42p]axb2sHpGwHQ[/youtube:b6i4k42p]

[batmagadanleadoff]

Beatle Song: When I'm Sixty Four

GaR30o_YXx0


I'm George Theodore

I may be wacky, wired and weird
When I take the field
Playing big league baseball was a childhood dream
Look at me now, I'm on the team
I can chase fly balls and I can hit
I can run and score
New York was for me, the fans adore me
I'm George Theodore
______
I can pinch hit too
Step aside Mister Mays
I will bat for you
_______
I could be handy playing left field
When we've got no Jones
I would take one in the eye without a blink
Fans know I just look like I stink
Im trancendental, mentally keen
Ross showed me the floor.
New York was for me, the fans adore me
I'm George Theodore
_______________
Many summers long ago I played before the age of Wright if you can believe
Believe what you saw
One man made us believe
Frank Edwin McGraw
_______________
Garr hit a rocket deep in the gap
I ran like the wind
I was gonna catch the ball that sunny day
Don Hahn simply got in my way
I'm kinda dorky, they me Stork
And I'm six foot four
New York was for me, the fans adore me
I'm George Theodore

Hi!

[batmagadanleadoff]

Richie Hebner Wants Off This Club Bad/
Hebner Wasn�t Here To Make Friends
(Sgt. Pepper�s Lonely Hearts Club Band/
With A Little Help From My Friends)


It was closing in on op�ning day
Joe Torre needed players to play
Lenny Randle wasn�t getting it done
They released him in the Florida sun

And then they introduced to us
A disinclined division foe
Most reluctant Met we ever had

Richie Hebner wants off this club bad
He can�t believe the deal was made
Richie Hebner wants off this club bad
He�s dying to demand a trade

Richie Hebner�s mumblin�
Richie Hebner�s grumblin�
Richie Hebner wants off this club bad

He�s mis�rable to be here
He�s certainly a pill
A dreadful clubhouse influence
Dispatch him far away from us
Please ship him out of Shea

Richie swore he couldn�t wait to go
Couldn�t stand that time was moving slow
Insists his uniform fit him all wrong
On the Mets he just didn�t belong

The feeling grew so mutual
Toward this prima donna horse�s rear
Who did so much to make a damned year sad

Hor-
se�s
rear!!!...

If you were sent from a team near the top
To a club that was down on the floor �
Would you do your best to help them improve
Or just whine as you raced for the door?

Yo, Richie Hebner wasn�t here to make friends
No...not even with Steve Henderson
Oh, don�t worry, he didn�t make friends

How do you cope with the news you�ve been swapped?
(�You mean me for that guy with the �fro?�)
Did you have a clue you were gonna get shopped?
(�In exchange for some dude named Nino?�)

Yo, Richie Hebner wasn�t here to make friends
Joe...McDonald had to owe him amends
Oh, don�t worry, he didn�t make friends

(Did you see how he snarled)
That game when he flipped us the bird?
(Like his face was all gnarled)
I�d rather that Craig Swan played third

Would someone join Rich for a quick round of hearts?
(It appears his teammates have to blow)
�Kid in the corner, let�s just play some cards.�
(Rookie Alex Trevi�o said, �No.�)

Yo, Richie Hebner wasn�t here to make friends
Though...gravediggers should know from dead ends
Oh, don�t worry, he didn�t make friends

Did he irk Lee Mazzilli?
(The Stallion would always stay cool)
Was he really still a Phillie?
(That wouldn�t fly with Kranepool)

Yo, Richie Hebner wasn�t here to make friends
Dove...for balls like he suffered the bends
Oh, don�t worry, he didn�t make friends

No, he didn�t try to be liked
And at that, he was fine...
He was fiiiiiine!

XmkIYWuZ1-U

[batmagadanleadoff]

Pick My Scab

Got a guy here, he could be the key?
A Poor Man's Maddux, but he's practic'ly free?
He'd need a Porsche to hit 93
?But he can perform mound surgery

Baby, you can pick my scab
?If you need someone to toe the slab?
Baby, you can pick my scab?
And baby, he'll hurl true

To a hitter, his "heat" looks good
?But they can't square up the wood
?Working those corners for a backwards K?
He's got more Control than Janet J.

Baby, you can pick my scab
?Yes, he'll step up on the slab?
Put six innings on his tab
?And dude'll reward you

BBs? Oh, please! Feh!

Baby, you can pick my scab
And I'm sure you'll find him fab?
Makes umpires work their jab
?Who cares if he paid dues?

Asked Lil' John what he thought of Reed?
He said, "Baby, can't you see??
Sometimes it's not all about win-loss?
Yes, there are some lines you do not cross."

"Baby, you can pick this scab?
Give that scruff a hasty grab
?Maybe stick him in a cab?
And take Benny Ags, too."

Yeep, yeep, yeep yeep, yeah
?Creep, creep, creep, creep, yeah
?Yeep, yeep, yeep yeep, yeah
?Creep creep, creep creep, yeah


W7dkn1ZnIPk

[batmagadanleadoff]

YOU STILL HATE ME

When I was brought up
You were enraged
Yeah, I was a scab
But act your age
We just lost a game
Where I was not to blame
But you still cursed my name
�Cause you still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)
You still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)

I don�t know why you
Would want to hide
My new glove and shoes
And cut my tie
All those years ago
My sick mom needed dough
But you just can�t let go
And you still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)
You still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)

Time after time
I would pitch and be a winner
You�re making sure
No one sits by me at dinner

In Game Three
I pitched our winning game
And at Shea, they cheer
And chant my name
Yes, it seemed so rude
To Ex-Lax up my food
What have I done to you?
Oh you still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)
You still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)

Time after time
You cut water to the shower
I wouldn't mind
But my hair was full of lather
I�ve a schlubby look
That people like
And you�d like me too
�Cept for the strike
Yes, it seems so wrong
To diss me for so long
Guess I�ll just go on
While you still hate me ((You hate Rick Reed)
You still hate me (you hate Rick Reed)

mfMC-0FQEno

[Zvon]

All great but Tagged Together was a brilliant play.


oe:shit, i only voted for one
Now its closed to me.:(

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

Brilliant all the way around!

I went with "Tagged Together," which made me laugh out lough the whole way through.

[Guest themetfairy]

Great work!

I chose Tagged Together and You Still Hate Me as the standout selections, but all were well done under difficult constraints.

[bmfc1]

Extra points for "degree of difficulty" to the Hebner selection as it encompasses two distinct melodies.

[Edgy MD]

I was a little leery as it stretched the rules a bit. Some moxie in doing so, though.

Maybe somebody should have tried to do all of side two of Abbey Road as a single parody.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Went with Hebner (degree of difficulty), Stork (Hi!) and You Still Hate Me (I'm picturing the delicate ooooooo-la-la-la backing the "Ex-Lax up my food" line)

[Edgy MD]

You still have a vote!

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

oh yeah, also went with that shitty Paul LoDuca one.

[batmagadanleadoff]

Zvon wrote: .... shit, i only voted for one Now its closed to me.:(

Fixed.

Vote for up to four songs.

[Guest d'Kong76]

�Bravo! to all. Particularly like the Geo Theo one!

[Zvon]

batmagadanleadoff wrote: .... shit, i only voted for one Now its closed to me.:( Fixed. Vote for up to four songs.

Thank you sir.

[Guest d'Kong76]

Is the voting working? I voted for four songs and every time
I look at the post up top it still shows that I have to click on
submit. Past polls, if I recall correctly, looked different after
voting when logged on.

[Zvon]

Yea, it might be messed up. I see submit again as well. Not sure if my second one went thru yesterday but I did pick and vote. Same selections are picked. If I hit submit today no change.

[batmagadanleadoff]

Tough to vote here, as I see it. I haven't been casting votes in these contests because the submissions are anonymous and as moderator, I know the secret identities of the contestants. But I'd have a tough time deciding which two parodies not to vote for. They all have their charms and I don't see how, so far, the top song could have garnered three times as many votes as the bottom vote-getters. And this isn't any sort of criticism of the top vote-getter, but rather, my way of saying that the bottom vote-getters are pretty good, too.

[batmagadanleadoff]

Hey, whaddya know. This furshlugginer round ended. Congrats to all the entrants, who did a bang-up Beatles job. I'll unmask the secret identities of the contestants and post the rules for the final round.

[fimg=555:2pqbtao1]http://www.geoffreygolden.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/beatles_masks.jpg[/fimg:2pqbtao1]

[batmagadanleadoff]

Hey, whaddya know. This furshlugginer round ended. Congrats to all the entrants, who did a bang-up Beatles job. I'll unmask the secret identities of the contestants and post the rules for the final round. [fimg=555]http://www.geoffreygolden.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/beatles_masks.jpg[/fimg]

Advancing to the Final Champonship Round are:



Tagged Together-Paul Lo Duca-Come Together -John Cougar Lunchbucket
I'm George Theodore-George Theodore-When I'm 64 - Zvon
Richie Hebner Wants Off This Club Bad/Hebner Wasn't Here to Make Friends-Richie Hebner-Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/With a Little Help From My Friends - G-Fafif
You Still Hate Me-Rick Reed-You Won't See Me - sharpie

_______________________

Just missing the cut:

If I Needed Elster-Kevin Elster-If I Needed Someone - Edgy MD
Pick My Scab-Rick Reed-Drive My Car - LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr

[Edgy MD]

There goes my top ranking.