How much is a farns worth?

[Frayed Knot]

Well, apparently if it's one of the Kyle variety of Farns, it's worth a minor league deal and an invite to Spring Training.

The 15-year vet who turns 38 in April appeared in 48 games for the Rays & Pirates in 2013, starting none - finishing 17, notching a 4.70 ERA and a 1.38 WHiP

[Edgy MD]

Is it just my impression, or is he one of the trademarkiest meathead relievers?

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Ew. He's gross. He looks like he smells.

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

He's got Yankee taint, too. Then again, just being near Jeter does make one better. Does that wear off after a while?

[Zvon]

An invite? No harm, no foul.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

He makes me smile, because of his Dibbleness-with-glasses, and because of his Dugout character.

Maddon12: so let�s hear some chatter � what�s our new mascot gonna be? Ideas? SophiesJoyce: sigh, I don�t know, an anthropomorphic stingray named Ray Kinsella? Maddon12: no, no UptonGirl: howsabout a fuzzy whatchamacallit by the name of Base Hit, he can make your next gathering or corporate event fun Maddon12: No, that�s just Raymond. pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: nah dont get ridda raymon every body loves raymon pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: lol get it, like the tv progrum i cant believe nobody ever thought of that joke i am like a monnern day louis anderson SophiesJoyce: An inflatable baseball bat and he dances in place! WhatPriceGlory: A guy with a baseball head, and we give him slanty eyes and a purse or whatever because baseball headed guys have to be weirdly gay or racist. pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: pauler adbul from the a cold hearted snake video a cold hearted snake Maddon12: No. /cleans lady glasses UptonGirl: cheerleaders instead of a mascot and we make a bunch of puns about how they get a �rays� out of the crowd. SophiesJoyce: we point out all the empty space in Tropicana Field and say the mascot is invisible and also huge so nobody can sit where he stands pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: pauler adbul from the vibeology video where she spells a lot an she got that sex-you-ali-tay pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: fake skinny pauler abdul from the promise of a new day video pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: kaenu reefs from the rush rush video idk Maddon12: NO! Those are all terrible ideas. pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: a contrarian afro american cat in the style of �opposite subtract� video superstar m.c. skatecat WhatPriceGlory: This is stupid. Maddon12: Wait a minute, go back � what was that last one again? pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: hiphopsmith m.c. skatecat he was like arsennial hall but in cat form, like a pist off sinbad the comedian but as a cat man an he danced, an his tail was like a dick an he put it in pauler abdul�s underdress WhatPriceGlory: Come on. Really? pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: he was actually quiet good he was objectively one of the decades best rappists Maddon12: No� no, I like that! In fact, I LOVE that! Maddon12: Kyle, can you get me in contact with whoever designed such a wonderful creature? pr0FF3ss0r_F4rsnw0rth: sure if i can ever get this prodigy disc to boot

[metirish]

Yes, didn't care for his bullshit when he was a MFY.....plus throws that heat right down the middle.

[Frayed Knot]

* Rep of a meathead? -- Check

* MFY taint? -- Check, two+ seasons worth. They were never too happy with him though. He was also with them back in the day when no Yanquis had visible tattoos so he, along with Giambi, had continual "arm injuries" that required a wrap from the moment they signed until the malady mysteriously cleared up upon leaving town. Once they signed Sabathia and Burnett the Yanx lost all hope of hiding this shameful "secret".

* Looks like he smells? -- Or smells like he looks, one or the other

* Straight fastball? -- Oh most definitely. He's long had the rep of a guy whose stuff was better than his results and for someone who's been strictly a reliever for 14 of his 15 seasons and has thrown fairly hard during most if not all of that time, he's rarely been trusted with the closer's role amassing only 54 in that time and almost of all that in just two seasons: he notched 16 in 2005 which he split between Detroit & Atlanta, and then 25 (nearly half his career total) with the 2011 Rays. In only one other season did he get more than two (6 as an MFY in 2006).

* No harm, no foul on the invite? -- Depends on how much they want to use/trust him if he makes the team.

[A Boy Named Seo]

Edgy MD wrote: Is it just my impression, or is he one of the trademarkiest meathead relievers?

Taylor Tankersley� sounds pretty meatheady and relievery.

[MFS62]

A Farns is certainly not worth as much as a Hunter Pence.

Later

[Frayed Knot]

Elsewhere on the once-a-closer front, Carlos Marmol heads to the Marlins, Fernando Rodney to reign in Seattle.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

It's almost like Jack Zduriencik has something to prove, isn't it?