Parody Semis: JC Lunchbucket v. Sharpie

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!
J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!
J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!
J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!

Big ol� lefty with a big ol� hook
Jonathan Niese, Jonathan Niese
Schnozz is going straight into the record books
Jonathan Niese, Jonathan Niese
Aye-yi-yi! Did you see that nose?
Ni-yine-times the size of Beltran�s mole

To the good ole rhinoplasty doctor yo, you gotta go
Jonathan Niese
Jonathan Niese
Gonna trim the hook, smooth the bump
Reduce the mass of your air pump
Jonathan Niese
Jonathan Niese
Juh-juh-juh Jonathan Niese
Juh-juh-juh Jonathan Niese

J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!
J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!
J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!
J-O! N-A-T! H-A-N! Niese!

Smelling like a rose and his pitching rocks
Jonathan Niese
Jonathan Niese
Now that his profile no longer resembles a hawk�s
Jonathan Niese
Jonathan Niese
I-yi-yi�m wishing him good luck
I-yi-yi gotta nip and tuck

Get a good nose job, you know it helps you if wanna go
Jonathan Niese
Jonathan Niese
Get a tummy tuck, chin implant, botox y�all have a ball
Jonathan Niese
Jonathan Niese
Juh-juh-juh Jonathan Niese
Juh-juh-juh Jonathan Niese�.


[youtube:247ye2eq]cRLrZ66bwPQ[/youtube:247ye2eq]

[Guest sharpie]

DARRYL HAMILTON

They�re close but they need some help
Another bat, McRae
Just could not cut it still, Mora was too young.
One other piece to go
We�ll get a ring, not the Yankees
We fleece the Rockies, going nowhere
Heaven knows, we�d throw in Rigo Beltran

That night
We picked up Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton, Darryl Hamilton, we picked up Darryl Hamilton
That night
We picked up Darryl Hamilton

Coming into midseason lineups
He hits .339
He doesn�t run and has not much pop, but
Heaven forbid, he�ll be taking his swings.
Got no rep and no hype, not for nothing
He just wasn�t no superstar
Playing center, he swoops like a song
We cry �look at him catch another one.�

All right
We�re liking Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton, Darryl Hamilton, we�re liking Darryl Hamilton
All right
We�re liking Darryl Hamilton.

All the way to postseason
His October makes us like him some more
We haven�t won since �86
Do we have to wait now for fifty more?

All right
Still liking Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton, Darryl Hamilton, still liking Darryl Hamilton
All right
Still liking Darryl Hamilton.

Could we have traded for Sox�s Trot Nixon?
Would he be better than D-Ham ever played
In the 2000 games?

Breaking camp no Darryl Hamilton
Just sits on the d.l. with a hurting toe and
Payton, Payton everywhere, and
Not a peep heard from the D-Ham
Ow, ow, ow, his dl-time keeps going
Looks like a classic case of depression
Sits on his hands at the end of the bench
Looking at all the new outfielders
Don�t we miss his glove?
Well, Payton has a glove
We forget about it all
When he comes back he just keeps sitting

We might
Not need no Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton, Darryl Hamilton, we don�t need Darryl Hamilton
That�s right
We don�t need Darryl Hamilton

He�s now a gimp and he ain�t no hustler
The gimp rides the pine while Jay Payton cuts the mustard
Two thousand one and he ain�t got no game
Timo needs reps and Benny�s a fan fave
I heard the news today, oh boy
News on the street: D-Ham�s got a beef
Telling the press he should play some more
And, he�d like to give Bobby a sock on the jaw
And, Bobby says Darryl just ain�t good for playing
And clean out your locker and then say good-bye
Try to catch on but now it�s over
Yes that final cut it will make you break down and cry.

That�s right
We�re done with Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton, Darryl Hamilton we�re done with Darryl Hamilton
That�s right
We�re done with Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton
Darryl Hamilton, Darryl Hamilton, we�re done with Darryl Hamilton....

[youtube:16rmoutd]DQ5XywSZUfM[/youtube:16rmoutd]

[Edgy MD]

Went for JCL despite his problematic spelling.

[TransMonk]

Both excellent. I went with Lunchie and his ultra-contemporary parody.

I got both songs right away without seeing the Youtubes. That's the sign of a good parody in my mind.

[Guest sharpie]

can someone sticky this?

[Guest themetfairy]

Wow - superlative stuff!

[Fman99]

Nice work gents. Given the absence of cock jokes I went with the cock-like proboscis of Mr. Niese.

[Guest themetfairy]

Does anyone remember the show on which the Bay City Rollers made their US debut?

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

I voted Sharpie. He picked a song with a massive degree of difficulty and pulled it off.

[G-Fafif]

themetfairy wrote: Does anyone remember the show on which the Bay City Rollers made their US debut

[G-Fafif]

Edgy DC wrote: problematic spelling.

A Jonathan not coming to grips with a Jonathon?

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

G-Fafif wrote: Edgy DC wrote: problematic spelling. A Jonathan not coming to grips with a Jonathon?

His folks can't spell, what can I say.

[Guest themetfairy]

G-Fafif wrote: themetfairy wrote: Does anyone remember the show on which the Bay City Rollers made their US debut

Correct - Howard had visions of becoming the next Ed Sullivan.

[Guest sharpie]

can someone sticky this?

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Difficulty points edges out one damn catchy, tasty bit of Scot roast.

[ashie62]

themetfairy wrote: themetfairy wrote: Does anyone remember the show on which the Bay City Rollers made their US debut Correct - Howard had visions of becoming the next Ed Sullivan.

Wrong I believe..Mike Douglas in Philly.

[Guest themetfairy]

Ashie62 wrote: themetfairy wrote: themetfairy wrote: Does anyone remember the show on which the Bay City Rollers made their US debut Correct - Howard had visions of becoming the next Ed Sullivan. Wrong I believe..Mike Douglas in Philly.

I agree with G-Fafif. They made a big deal about the Bay City Rollers' US debut on the first show of Cossell's failed experiment.

[Guest themetfairy]

Wikipedia concurs with G-Fafif

[ashie62]

Not so fast mine my Metly friends.

The Cosell performance was via satellite from UK 1/76

The Rollers did one full week live in the USA in Philly starting 4/23/76

http://www.ioffer.com/i/mike-douglas-show-bay-city-rollers-ken-norton-1976-dvd-144473987

[Guest themetfairy]

I suppose it's the definition of the US debut that's up for grabs.

I was going for the first time US audiences got to see them, which was amid much hoopla.

[Edgy MD]

We really need Wolfie to rule on all this tying going on.

[ashie62]

themetfairy wrote: I suppose it's the definition of the US debut that's up for grabs. I was going for the first time US audiences got to see them, which was amid much hoopla.

Ashie1 was at one of those shows all tartaned up standing on her chair screaming and took a header.. All for Les McKeon.

[Guest The Second Spitter]

You owe me a beer.

[Guest themetfairy]

Ashie62 wrote: themetfairy wrote: I suppose it's the definition of the US debut that's up for grabs. I was going for the first time US audiences got to see them, which was amid much hoopla. Ashie1 was at one of those shows all tartaned up standing on her chair screaming and took a header.. All for Les McKeon.

I can't name a single Roller anymore....

[Edgy MD]

It's easy once you learn the chant.

B-A-Y, B-A-Y,
B-A-Y, C-I-T-Y,
With an R-O-double-L, E-R-S,
Bay City Rollers are the best!
Eric, Derek, Woody too,
Alan, Leslie, we love you,
With an R-O-double-L, E-R-S,
Bay City Rollers are the best!

Those trousers were hawt!

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

Did the Bay City Rollers arrive at their name by the theory of "American things are cool" and pick a name off the map of Michigan?

[Edgy MD]

The story goes that they threw a dart at a U.S. map.

I get the idea they selected their pants somewhat similarly.

[ashie62]

Edgy DC wrote: The story goes that they threw a dart at a U.S. map. I get the idea they selected their pants somewhat similarly.

Ashie1 says correct on both fronts

[Guest Mets � Willets Point]

See, I was making a joke but turn out not to be too far off the mark. It boggles the mind what possible names that band may have ended up with should that dart have landed elsewhere.

[Edgy MD]

The Eau Clair Boppers don't think that's very funny.