The Next Karate Kid (1994)

[Edgy MD]

While the rest of youse losers were watching the Jets, I decided to see, 14+ years after the fact, if producer Jerry Weintraub and director Christopher Cain succeeded in any small part in reviving the franchise which Weintraub and John Avildsen cranekicked in the nuts with The Karate Kid, Part III.

The plot features Mr. Miyagi, in a convenient house swap with the widow of his former commanding officer, inheriting troubled teen and Met-lovin' big shot Hillary Swank. In one of those plot turns that show just how closely Hollywood scriptwriters keep their fingers on the pulse of American life, Ms Swank --- a friendless self-loathing tomboy despite her tops bearing abs-bearing tops --- is terrorized by a gang of quasi-fascist hall monitors led by a dean of discipline (bargain-basement Jack Nicholson actor Michael Ironside) that makes Kreese seem like a cupcake. That sort of thing was so totally typical of my high high school!

So, with a future-two-time Oscar winner in camp, it can't be hard to improve on KK3, right? Right?

[Ceetar]

Was probably more entertaining than the football game.

but wow, 1994?

[Centerfield]

None of the sequels to The Karate Kid actually happened. You can't make me believe otherwise.

[TransMonk]

[Edgy MD]

Centerfield wrote: None of the sequels to The Karate Kid actually happened. You can't make me believe otherwise.

I disagree with your plan to annihilate KK2 from existence. There's some real good stuff there.

[Edgy MD]

This was a real tragedy. They had a great chance for a revitalization here --- an appealling new star, a new setting, a retreat to a Buddhist temple, and an appearance by real-life Nisei 442nd Regimental hero Senator Daniel Inouye --- but went for a script dumber than a pile of dirt. The villian was a thin re-write of Kreese, and sidekicks in this bizzarro gang seem to be pale shadows of their counterparts in Cobra Kai. About thirty minutes in, somebody misses the memo on a re-write, and Julie's dialog moves from the lines of a hardrockin' rebel chick to those of a spoiled mallrat girly-girl.

It's set in Boston, but not a single Boston accent appears. The oafs Mr. Miyage and Julie encounter tend to either be of the rural Georgian crushed baseball hat variety of redneck or the Brooklyn greaseball variety of mook. Ms. Edgy said it was worse than Karate Kid Part 3, and I said KK3 was worse. The disagreement has been a real strain on our marriage, but can probably be attributable to gender preferences. Teenagers rock out throughout the film to unrecogonzeably horrid budget corporate rock, and then suddenly in the temple, Julie does a workout to the Cranberries' "Dreams." (Was this the debut of the song?)

Why didn't they turn to me? I could have scripted this sucker in four days. Anyhow, the Partridge Family episode we watched as a pre-feature attraction was OK.

[Centerfield]

Edgy DC wrote: Centerfield wrote: None of the sequels to The Karate Kid actually happened. You can't make me believe otherwise. I disagree with your plan to annihilate KK2 from existence. There's some real good stuff there.

Somewhere in the archives are my thoughts on the movie. Awful film. So bad, it detracted from the first movie.