Underwater StupidTank to Uninformed Thinking Island, 2009

[Guest OlerudOwned]

We've had All-Purpose Bad Journalism threads before, might as well make one for this year, since it's better than having to debate the urge to make a new thread every time some idiot gets drunk on JeterJuice and pukes all over the internet.

The title's taken from a fun line in an old FJM post which, I've just realized, was actually about an article written by Wally Matthews. So I'll start with him.

http://www.newsday.com/sports/columnists/ny-spwally0401,0,6857308.column

]In four out of every five starts, they are going to need a guy to come charging out of that bullpen in the seventh inning to hold the game until the closer gets there. A guy like Joba Chamberlain.

Wallace Matthews, professional baseball writer, thinks Joba Chamberlain could come out of the five times a week, and pitch two innings every time. That's about 230 innings, if we allow that one week = seven games for our intents and purposes. Later in the piece, he mentions that starting would force him to throw too many innings.

]Greater baseball minds than mine have analyzed this situation at great length and determined that Joba for the first six innings every five days is better than Joba out of the bullpen five times a week.

Yes, yes they have.

]Many can start; few can finish. Joba can finish. He was a great setup man, and someday he'll be a great closer. Those commodities are a lot scarcer on the market than starting pitchers.

That is exactly the opposite of how baseball works.

[Guest Edgy DC]

If you take him literally about about that four times in five bidness, that's 259 innings.

With one day of rest every five.

[Fman99]

Wally is a real cum head.

[RealityChuck]

Pointing out bad journalism from Wallace Matthews is like pointing out signs of steroid use by Bobby Bonds.

Much too easy.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Poor Bobby.

[Frayed Knot]

Bobby was on a different kind of juice.

[Guest Number 6]

I really miss FJM.