A-Rod Fails to Give Skin, Sucks

[Guest AG/DC]

from George King III at the Post:

A-ROD LEAVES ABREU HANGING

By GEORGE A. KING III

April 18, 2008 -- Because every move he makes is under a huge spotlight, Alex Rodriguez was asked last night why he doesn't shake hands, exchange fist knuckles or acknowledge Bobby Abreu when Abreu homers in front of him.

As Abreu approaches the plate Rodriguez is off to the left side going through his preparation to hit, a program that includes a violent practice swing.

"I have always done that because I don't like celebrating on the field," Rodriguez said before last night's 7-5 loss to the Red Sox in which he went 1-for-4 and 0-for-1 in the clutch to lower his batting average to .067 (1-for-15) with runners in scoring position. "When the hitter in front of me strikes out, I don't go over and pat him on the shoulder."

What's great is that his justification for what makes this nonsense a story is hidden in the passive voice, and his claim that A-Rod sucks and is a douche is hidden in the subtext.

As far as bad writing goes, this is some great writing.

[Farmer Ted]

Doesn't like celebrating but tosses the bat 20 feet after hitting a home run. Dook shoulda knocked him on his ass.

[Benjamin Grimm]

Had he become a Met, he would have been very hard to like.

What did the fans in Seattle and Texas think of him? Was he less of a jerk when he was younger? Or did the fans forgive him his jerkishness? Or was he little-liked in those cities too but we just didn't hear about it?

[Centerfield]

No really. He's a classy player. He hates that kind of crap.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

lol

[G-Fafif]

You can't see it with the naked eye, but the dude affixes a KICK ME sign to the back of his jersey before every game.

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

I wouldn't try kicking him though, he carries a purse.

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

Arod receives a high five Giambi following a home run on May 8, 2007. Apparently it's only celebrating when it's about someone else.

[Guest OlerudOwned]

Showing emotion on the field?

What a dick!

Not showing emotion on the field?

What a dick!