Metericks

[Guest AG/DC]

A solid Met hitter, Gotay
Inspired Minaya to say
"They must hit it at you
For you've range like a statue
And Castillo is now on the way"

A tall lanky Met named Mike Pelfrey
Got a bonus that made him quite welfrey
But he's still on the bubble
His career could see trouble
If Pedro and Duque stay helfrey

[G-Fafif]

Moises made noises like he needed a break
Playing nonstop for weeks his legs couldn't take
But he couldn't start sitting
As he wouldn't stop hitting
Bet carrying the team caused his shoulders to ache

[G-Fafif]

The Mets were in pain, so they turned to John Maine
To keep them alive, to save their campaign
Except for Paul Hoover
The no-hit remover
John sucked it up and left barely a stain

[Vic Sage]

Gfafif, your meter is totally off.

fromWikipedia:

]A limerick has five lines, with three metrical feet in the first, second and fifth lines and two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines. A variety of types of metrical foot can be used, but the most typical are the amphibrach (a stressed syllable between two unstressed syllables) and the anapaest (two unstressed syllables followed by a stressed syllable). The rhyme scheme is usually AABBA.

A "metrical foot" is not a single syllable, but a string of syllables comprising an accent or beat.

for example (with the beats in CAPS):
1st line (3 metric feet)= there ONCE was a HIT-ter named CHURCH
2nd line (3 metric feet)= who was FOUND when the METS did a SEARCH
3rd line (2 metric feet) = they LOOKED for a VILL-age
4th line (2 metric feet) = to EX-ile MILL-edge
5th line (3 metric feet) = so he was SENT off to DC to PERCH

There ONCE was an ACE named San-TAN-a
who was KNOWN as a HARD throwin' MAN-a
when re-BORN in New YORK,
as if DROPPED by the STORK,
he made ALL of us sing a "ho-SANN-ah!

got it?

but usually limericks require some form of vulgarity:

there once was a catcher named Castro
who had a severe case of gas-tro
so when he would crouch
the ump would say "Yowch!
You need a big plug in your ass-tro!"

[soupcan]

There was a young Met named Mazzilli
The young girls at the games he'd drive silly
His teeth were so white
And his pants were so tight
That with glee the girls noticed his willy.

[seawolf17]

There once was a Met: Taylor, Chuck...

[G-Fafif]

Vic Sage wrote: Gfafif, your meter is totally off.

I wasn't doing limericks. I was doing Metericks.

[Guest AG/DC]

It's fun to do this on a continuous thread, going from player to player by trades or by who repaced who.

Young Phillips had glasses like Bono

One good year and one quite like guano

He brought Kazuhisa

A waste of a visa

With control not unlike Ray Romano

Kaz was released in December

Cut loose like a gangrenous member

They signed Jose Lima

Who made not the team-a

But his wife wasn't hard to remember

Lima, he soon got a chance

And returned to the major league dance

Easily beaten

Like a young Jody Sweetin

Charlie Brown, knocked right out of his pants

El Duque reclaimed the rotation

And that's been his regular station

I don't mean to be curt

But if he didn't get hurt

We'd be not the joke of the nation

[Guest AG/DC]

You can teach your children trade chains this way.

Len Dykstra was dirty and grimey
Post season, he homer four-timey
We sent him to Philly
At first it seeemed silly
Now it seems organized crimey

Juan Samuel came here as the bounty
When young, he had been Robin Younty
But his defense was passive
His strikeouts were massive
He thrilled not the folks in Queens County

He went to LA for Mike Marshall
None shall stink like an old former star shall
He dated Belinda
Whose career he did hinda
And I speak while remaining impartial

It's hard to think Boston required him
For a prospect, they up and acquired him
Plus a guy to be named
We might be ashamed
But we're lucky the Red Sox desired him

The prospects were less than the best
Their names* are a trivia test
They brought us no glory
We ended the story
And watched Len in the NLCS

*Ed Perozo, Greg Hansell