(Be) a Met Santa

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

OK, you're Santa Claus, and you give one gift to one 2006 Met, and pass it off to the next Santa for the next gift, and so on. Keep going till everyone gets a gift...

I'll start:

Alay Soler: A strikeout pitch

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

Steve Trachsel: a good divorce lawyer.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Aaron Heilman, a chance to start for the Mets.

[Frayed Knot]

Paul LoDuca - a date to the prom

[soupcan]

Guillermo Mota - a vial of my urine

[Guest Edgy DC]

Why would we gamble with Santa?

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

I'd gamble with him; I just wouldn't bet against him. He's got magic powers and stuff.

[Guest cooby]

gamble?


Edit: never mind

[Guest Rockin' Doc]

Duaner Sanchez a personal limo...

[Farmer Ted]

David Wright, a new stylist.

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Carlos Beltran: A swing

[Guest ScarletKnight41]

Barry Zito - that big contract that he wants.

[Centerfield]

Shawn Green - An extra two inches on his jump.

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Xavier Nady: A limo for Sanchez

[Guest attgig]

Glavine: a GM in Atlanta willing to suck his ****

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

I'd rather see Glavine get 20 wins and a Cy Young award. But to each his own.


How about this one? David Wright: The big postseason that eluded him in 2006.

[soupcan]

Jose Reyes - Eternal Youth

[Guest Yancy Street Gang]

Can I get some of that too?

[Guest Edgy DC]

No.

Jose Lima: enough substance to match the style.

Taste to match the style also, while I'm at it.

[MFS62]

Lastings Milledge - a clean slate.

Later

[Guest OlerudOwned]

Chris Woodward: A shiny new cleaver.

[Guest SI Metman]

Duque - a flat treadmill

[Frayed Knot]

Actually, our new leftfielder once missed the better part of an entire season following a treadmill accident ... or at least that's what he claimed.

Back when he was w/Houston, Moises suffered a leg injury in what he said was a treadmill mishap. Others speculated that either his pasion for off-season basketball may have played a role, or that "treadmill" was some sort of spanish translation for "motorcycle".