Bad pun riddles

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

That would be Hairy Parker.

What Met pitcher was known for his peculiar style of frisking?

[Theoldmole]

If he was frisking guys from the 'hood, it could be Pat Mahomes.

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

No, but that's excellent, as usual, Mole.

[Guest OlerudOwned]

The non-'hood frisker would just be Pat Strange.

Which Met could've been a manly female sled-dog?

[Theoldmole]

Butch Huskey.


Which Met was more given to making unkind remarks than all the other peers of the realm?

[Guest SwitchHitter]

I dunno, was Duke Snider ever a Met?

[Valadius]

He was indeed.

[Theoldmole]

How about a Met who lifts up large areas of land?

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Jack Aker.

What was Seigfried's biggest purchase this year?

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: Jack Aker. What was Seigfried's biggest purchase this year?

I dunno. A "How to Spell Your Own Friggen Name" workbook?

What happened to providing temporal ("an early Met") or positional clues ("Which current infielder") or something? As in

Which former Mets pitcher would be helpful in igniting cigarettes?

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

Also this didn't didn't start out ("Gary Gaetti") as all-Mets puns. There's a lot out there, folks, beyond Shea Stadium. As in,

Which former Tigers outfielder has a pH greater than 7?

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

I'll rephrase.

What MET was Seigfried's biggest purchase this year?

Which former Mets pitcher would be helpful in igniting cigarettes?
A-Lleiter

[seawolf17]

Bret Sabermetric wrote: Which former Tigers outfielder has a pH greater than 7?

That would be Al Kaline.

This is a fun game.

What former Met reliever was constantly giving haircuts to one of the great film directors?

[Frayed Knot]

"Which former Tigers outfielder has a pH greater than 7?"

Al Kaline

[Guest Edgy DC]

Buzz Capra, wolf.

Whom did Emily Brontë support for the 1995 Rolaids Award?

Yeah, that's right. I used an umlaut. What of it?

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

Edgy DC wrote: Buzz Capra, wolf. Whom did Emily Brontë support for the 1995 Rolaids Award? Yeah, that's right. I used an umlaut. What of it?

Presumably that would be Heathcliff Sloclum, though I'm not sure where the "Slocum" part fits in to the answer.

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

Still on the board:

What Met was Seigfried's biggest purchase this year?

Who was the young Met who missed the bus?

[seawolf17]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: Who was the young Met who missed the bus?

That would be Chico Walker.

[Guest OlerudOwned]

Johnny Dickshot wrote: Still on the board: What Met was Seigfried's biggest purchase this year?

Roy Staiger?

[seawolf17]

What former MLer not only pitched for both New York and both Chicago teams, but is also currently in rehab, going cold turkey from salmon eggs?

[Guest Edgy DC]

]Presumably that would be Heathcliff Slocum, though I'm not sure where the "Slocum" part fits in to the answer.

It doesn't. (It's "Slocumb," with a virtually silent B, acTually.) Emily didn't need too much to swing her vote.

And wouldn't it be disgusting if I did work that in somehow?

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

]What Met was Seigfried's biggest purchase this year? Roy Staiger?

Not Roy's Tiger but...

[Guest Edgy DC]

Roy's ring.

And that must be a hell of a ring to be worth more than a white tiger.

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

="Edgy DC"] ]And wouldn't it be disgusting if I did work that in somehow? I couldn't have resisted it for a minute. Uh, for at least seven minutes. That's a minimum. I could have lasted eight, maybe ten minutes, probably, before finally caving to that urge. Sometimes I can go all night.

TheOldMole Dec 20 2005 08:31 AM

What former Brooklyn Dodger became a pro-choice evangelist?

Frayed Knot Dec 20 2005 10:35 AM

TheOldMole wrote: What former Brooklyn Dodger became a pro-choice evangelist? Preacher Roe ]What former MLer not only pitched for both New York and both Chicago teams, but is also currently in rehab, going cold turkey from salmon eggs? Dick Tidrow

TheOldMole Dec 20 2005 11:28 AM

What Cleveland outfielder won't get soggy in milk?

Bret Sabermetric Dec 20 2005 11:32 AM

Ah, the delicious Coco Crisp. I saw him at Fenway last June, and had a big bowl afterwards. Both great.

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 11:32 AM

What Chicago outfielder do you typically prefer to any of your other fabric colorings?

seawolf17 Dec 20 2005 11:43 AM

That would be Jermaine Dye.

TheOldMole Dec 20 2005 11:55 AM

What ex-Met and Yankee carries in Eastern mystics?

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 12:02 PM

Yogi bearer.

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 12:05 PM

What Mets reliever has drunk just about everywhere?

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 01:26 PM

Which Met reliever bores at least one sophomore to tears? Which Met reliever comes from a class of black pastors who supposedly talk like they're white? Which Met infielder, when he lived in Scotland, displayed an uncanny ability to distinguish the sound of different sheep?

Valadius Dec 20 2005 02:17 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Which Met infielder, when he lived in Scotland, displayed an uncanny ability to distinguish the sound of different sheep? Baa be Close? (Bobby Klaus)

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 02:21 PM

Not quite, but good thinking. Klaus almost belongs in the Ultimate Reindeer Database.

seawolf17 Dec 20 2005 02:27 PM

Edgy DC wrote: What Mets reliever has drunk just about everywhere? Would that be Many A-Bar (Manny Aybar)?

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 02:30 PM

Many A Bar is indeed our man.

Valadius Dec 20 2005 03:05 PM

Edgy DC wrote: Which Met infielder, when he lived in Scotland, displayed an uncanny ability to distinguish the sound of different sheep? Ken Baas Well.

Edgy DC Dec 20 2005 03:07 PM

Aye, Laddy, that he does.

Valadius Dec 20 2005 03:11 PM

Which Mets starter liked to move bogs around?

TheOldMole Dec 20 2005 07:59 PM

Pete Walker

TheOldMole Dec 21 2005 08:14 PM

What former M et will have to give up snakes until he grows up?

Edgy DC Dec 22 2005 10:32 AM

Um, I don't know. Which Met reliever comes from a class of black pastors who supposedly talk like they're white?

TheOldMole Dec 22 2005 04:46 PM

Whoo...I can;'t figure that one at all.

Edgy DC Dec 22 2005 05:01 PM

Somebody step in. Mole and I have a Mexican standoff going.

Valadius Dec 22 2005 05:42 PM

Junior Noboa.

Zvon Dec 22 2005 06:57 PM

Valadius wrote: Junior Noboa. that was a good one!

OlerudOwned Dec 22 2005 07:17 PM

This Met lefty doesnt think you have enough pork.

Edgy DC Dec 22 2005 10:10 PM

Tim Hamulack. My guy is a sixties guy.

Bret Sabermetric Dec 23 2005 04:41 AM

Uncle Tom Parsons?

Edgy DC Dec 23 2005 06:05 AM

Ding. Tom Parsons

[Theoldmole]

What former Brooklyn Dodger became a pro-choice evangelist?

[Frayed Knot]

TheOldMole wrote: What former Brooklyn Dodger became a pro-choice evangelist?

Preacher Roe

]What former MLer not only pitched for both New York and both Chicago teams, but is also currently in rehab, going cold turkey from salmon eggs?

Dick Tidrow

[Theoldmole]

What Cleveland outfielder won't get soggy in milk?

[Guest Bret Sabermetric]

Ah, the delicious Coco Crisp.

I saw him at Fenway last June, and had a big bowl afterwards. Both great.

[Guest Edgy DC]

What Chicago outfielder do you typically prefer to any of your other fabric colorings?

[seawolf17]

That would be Jermaine Dye.