Hey, Nineteen: Chris Flexen

[Edgy MD]

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I'm Chris Flexen. There are three things you need to know about me:

2. I've already been sent down to minor league camp.


4. My 2018 season ended early because I had to undergo surgery for a torn meniscus. It was my second knee surgery in as many seasons.


6. Tired of punishing the knees, I spent the interim getting my body as hammered as boron steel.

It stinks, because I've been right there for a couple of seasons now. Man on the verge of making a bid for a rotation spot. But injuries and lard have been making other plans.



But I'm driving the bus now. Me. Chris Flexen. There was doubt that I'd be ready for Opening Day. But I not only put that doubt to rest, I was ready for the start of Spring Training.



I've already been farmed out, sure, but I had been unscored upon in three games covering the massive total of 2 1/3 innings. So I'm back in the mix, buddy. Kilome ain't back yet, but I sure am. So if you get sick of Vargas or miffed at Matz, you're going to ask who else will be available.



Me, Chris Flexen. Muscle-man. I'll be available.



What's gonna happen when that call comes?

[Johnny Lunchbucket]

Named a AAA All-Star but on the eve of the start is busted for HGH.



Instea of the requisite play-dumb defense, goes rougue and blows the whistle on Mike Barwis, revealing him to be a Typhoid Mary of modern undetectable substances and sending the entire organization aflame in controversy and suspicion.



Serves a suspension, get released and makes a comeback with the Giants in 2020. Starts the 2022 All-Star Game but is victimized by a home run by Jarred Kelenic. Gets fuzzy from there.

[Edgy MD]

That's some big-league H19'in'.



I was right with you up 'til the AS Game start.

[kcmets]

Nothing Metly in 2019.

[G-Fafif]

Recalled in conjunction with DFA of Santiago.