Farmer Ted

Unlike Farmer Edgardo Alfonzo, Wilmer comes from a big city in Venezuela so he's not looking to ride horseback (on horses, that is). What we can really hope for is Wilmer dating a Yankees fan and completely flipping her. That really happens, right? Ms. Piersall with her floral print dress and great smile is an interesting subject. A Virgo no less. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mjpiersall92?cf=regular

The Red Sox have been doing this for years. They call it Truck Day. Effin Wilpons can't come up with anything original. This is from a coupla years ago: http://m.mlb.com/news/article/67569480/red-sox-fans-brave-cold-on-annual-truck-day

You know the summer camp days where the kids all wear their color-coordinated shirts and relegated to the upper-est levels of the upper deck on the hottest god-awful days of the year no less? Fuck that. Put 'em in Delta Gold behind home plate, dugout to dugout.

He's wearing an $8 tie, no belt, and a $2,500 TAG Heur watch. A fucking mess.

Oliver Perez to the Nats. Oliver. Perez. Ladies and gentlemen.

Nah, I just think his dumbassedness is from not having a fully developed frontal lobe. As for the nose bleeds, I used to get a bunch. Doc said it was from some cholesterol meds I was taking and a blood vessel "close to the surface." Had some laser work done, haven't lost a drop of blood in 10 years. He might be allergic to the polyester uniforms.

Did the guy even get a "Memories of" thread? Jeremy "Two Times" Hefner battling back after his second Tommy John surgery, now toiling in the Dominican Winter League. Posted on November 12, 2015 Written by Kerwin Abreu . San Francisco de Macoris: The general manager of the Cibao Giants champions of the 2014-2015 season, announced hiring pitchers Jeremy Hefner and Sam Gaviglio to strengthen the team's starting pitching. Hefner, RHP 29-year-old has experience majors with the Mets, he debuted in the majors April 23, 2012 against the San Francisco Giants, working 3.0 inputs 3 hits, 1 bxb, no runs. In two major league seasons, 50 games, 8-15 record with 4.65 ERA, 36 games as a starter, 224.1 innings, 242 hits, 116 runs, 55 bxb, 161 strikeouts. Gaviglio, RHP 25 years old, belongs to Tacoma Rainiers, Triple A Seattle Mariners. In 2015 record was 8-7 with 4.94 ERA in 23 games, 19 as a starter, 105.2 innings of work, 104 hits, 58 earned runs, 36 bxb, 80 strikeouts, the opposition is batting .255 "We are strengthening our starting pitching, we have had ups and downs, we are not in the position we want to be but we are working hard," said Felix Francisco. "They will be available in the short term, possibly his first appearance out of the bullpen and be ready to open in the next week," Felix said. "The pitching has stabilized in the last week starting pitching has been better," added Francisco. The Giants are currently in the 5th position with a record of 8-12, in season 2015-2016 in option to BHD-Leon Cup, with special dedication to Michael Ferris Churches.

I feel something's in the works. I can't quite place it but it FEELS like one of those wholesale trade things in coming our way. You know, Duda, Lagares, Tejada, and Neise for half of the entire Oakland A's organization or some shit. I'm kinda nervous. That's how I feel.

Like Conforto, Gavin played in the LLWS. The Mets start the scouting early. http://www.littleleague.org/Page58942.aspx

"Next season is his age 35 season. so three years is 35,36,37. Not horrible" Michael Cuddyer, age 36 and 37 seasons. Jut sayin.

I always got Lou Brock confused with Lou Rawls. They both worked for Auggie Busch, amiright?

The Marlins don't give a shit about Boras and stinking pitch counts. ESPN.com MIAMI -- The Miami Marlins' feud with agent Scott Boras escalated Wednesday, and the team said he'll be left out of any future talks regarding ace Jose Fernandez's workload. Team president David Samson pledged to exclude Boras after the agent complained about the Marlins' handling of another one of his clients, outfielder Marcell Ozuna. The dispute perhaps reduces the already slim likelihood the Marlins will sign Fernandez to a long-term contract. An exchange of barbs began with Boras criticizing the Marlins for demoting Ozuna to Triple-A last season when he was in a 1-for-36 slump. The comments brought an angry response from Samson. After Scott Boras took another opportunity to criticize the Marlins for demoting his client, Marcell Ozuna, to Triple-A last year, Miami said he'll be left out of any future contract negotiations regarding fellow Boras client Jose Fernandez. "My strong suggestion to Mr. Boras is that instead of resting on his 5 percent that he collects from his stable of players, he write a check and buy a team," Samson said. "Then he would have the opportunity to run a team that he claims to be so able to do. Until that time, he is in no position to comment how any Major League Baseball team is operated." Boras, speaking at the general managers' meetings in Boca Raton, questioned the Marlins' motivation for sending Ozuna to the minors. The lost service time prevented Ozuna from becoming eligible for salary arbitration this offseason. "He's a lifetime .265 hitter, and I can find you 30 players in the major leagues that went 1 for 36 some time in their career, and they did not get sent to the minor leagues," Boras said. "When you do those things, it sends a message to players, sends a message to the locker room and sends a message to everyone that looks at the organization that there is a calculus going on that is beyond performance." Samson responded: "Every decision we make is based on the best interests of the team, and always has been." Ozuna is believed to be on the trading block. Fernandez returned in July from Tommy John surgery. Boras was outspoken this year regarding the Mets' use of pitcher Matt Harvey, another client who was coming back from Tommy John surgery. The Marlins don't plan to consult Boras regarding how they use Fernandez in 2016, and Boras told the Miami Herald that he hasn't talked with the team about Fernandez since January or February. "He will not be involved in any discussion as it relates to Jose Fernandez," Samson said. "We will be in touch with the doctors and Jose as we formulate a plan." Boras, however, didn't sound like he was going to be left out of the discussion regarding Fernandez's workload. "Certainly, the doctors are going to prescribe a graduated program for him," Boras told the Herald. "He threw somewhere in the area of 65 to 70 innings [last season], and I think his career high is 170 or 180. So I'm sure we'll have discussions about that." Fernandez, who made $651,000 in 2015, is arbitration-eligible for the first time this offseason. He can become a free agent after the 2018 season. The right-hander rejected a multiyear offer before the season, Samson said. But Samson didn't rule out the possibility of a long-term deal, despite the dispute with Boras. "We don't even think about that," Samson said. "If we make an offer on a long-term contract, Jose can say yes or no." The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Shunned. December 5, 2011, NJ.com Reyes, the reigning National League batting champion, agreed to a six-year contract reportedly worth $106 million — a pair of figures the Mets and general manager Sandy Alderson had little interest in matching. With reports of Reyes’ departure buzzing on the eve of the Winter Meetings, Alderson admitted that his club never made a formal offer during this process.

He is shunned by the Mets. Signs a big contract with a team he really doesn't want to play for. Traded to OH, CANADA! in a typical Marlins salary dump. Traded to the Rockies for Tulo and the Blue Jays season takes off. Rockies go 26-38 to close out the season. Mets get to the WS with Wilmer Flores at SS. I can probably understand the deep-rooted psychological issues at hand with the man, but take it out on a water cooler, Jose. Get some counseling. Damn. Damn. Damn. This really makes me sad.

This potential 2016 starting lineup doesn't knock me over. It's better than most lineups they threw out there in 2015, but not scary. Granderson Wright Conforto Duda d'Arnaud Lagares Flores/Herrera Tejada/Flores

Only needs three more dingers for 200 in his career! Otherwise, a $12.5 million backup to Conforto in 2016? Please discuss.

I don't think the market is going to be as friendly to Murph as some in the media portray. We're talking $16 million to push aside for what, the Yankees or Pirates? He's going to get the QO, look around a bit, and show up in PSL in February.

I've been absent a few days. Please forgive me. As you may know, I was in KC, Kansas and other shit rotten places in the Midwest. First, fuck you to the fuck-head who tried to scalp me a game two ticket for $1,200. Eat shit. But the flight home yesterday. Oh God. Screw all you Royals bandwagon pieces of shit with your Just-Bought-never-washed shirts and jerseys prancing about the airport like, well, you know how the Mel Brooks scene goes. There were eight Mets fans on my flight out of KC. Do you know how I know? Because each and every one of those loyal souls was wearing a Mets hat and or shirt. Me included. You wouldn't see that if the Royals just lost the first two at Citi. No fucking way. Crawl in a hole, KC, you and your fans fucking suck despite the outcome of the series. That said, Thor is going to roll right though you tonight. Matz tomorrow. Harvey and deGrom part 2, as well. Wright, Conforto, Duda...yup, they'll be waking up and hell will be upon your doorstep, KC. LET'S GO METS!!!

Jorge Orta is still fucking out at first.

No, no, Sandy's not choking back tears. Look at Sandy's positioning. He's clearly pivoted directly toward the third base dugout. "Fuck you, Theo," Sandy blurts out. "I taught Billy, you, and rest of the computer geeks everything you fucking know; but I didn't teach you everything I fucking know. Bite me. HA!!!!"

The 11-game winning streak in April was awesome, but too early. Way too early. I took Daughter Ted to the Pirates game in Pittsburgh in May. It was a Saturday game, a 7 Line Army Affair, and we sat with 1,100 other Mets fans in the upper left deck. It was also MATT FREAKING HARVEY on the mound. As it ended up, this was the second game of a weekend sweep as part of a 3-10 stretch that also included a sweep to the (ahem) Cubs the week prior. The Mets trotted out a shitty lineup that included Campbell, Ceciliani, Plawecki, and a sprinkling of Mayberry and Leathersich. Harvey, it appeared, hit an early-season wall. The Mets got walloped 8-2 and it was my first moment of �these guys fucking suck,� despite being four games over .500 at the time. I sensed the floor caving in. So, from mid-May until today, the season included the double sweeps to the Pirates and the Cubs; a heartbreaking loss to the Padres in the rain; losing 5 of the final 6 regular-season games; and getting no-hit twice...and my general demeanor today you ask? I'M FUCKING CRAZY HAPPY.

SELL THE TEAM...now?

My friend, a Cubs fan, texted me earlier today. "You have three guys better than Arrieta. The other is better than Lester." BOOM

With the added rest, I'd go with Harvey first. Hold Thor until the first home game given his history of HAMMER TIME at Citi.

The best was Murph getting the MVP trophy next to Jeffy, who was stone-faced the whole time ("holy shit, I don't have money to pay that guy. Please don't look at me"). Where's that Find Jeff Wilpon thread? That could use some updating.