Edgy MD

Quick-Draw McGraw.

Edgardo Fonz.

Jobby Bones.

Hundley.

Koo's Man.

Matlack.

George Feaver.

'Pool.

Hunt.

Mazzilli.

Harvey.

That last one comes as a surprise. Hope it carries.

Sure, and I'd rather my team had Addison Russell than Starlin Castro. Make 'em beg, drive a hard bargain, and be willing to walk away.

It's a good day to leak a rumor of Chris Young's impending release, and then drop him into the lineup and watch him reap destruction. That can't work twice, can it?

Matt Kemp has been hitting like a rich man's Chris Young for a while now. And yet, I'm intrigued. Plus, he knows V. Stiviano.

I open with Flores and Germen. When they laugh, I tell them to stfu and casually bring up Puello's name.

Or, maybe he was just wrong. Left field: Alex Gordon get anybody excited? Or is too much of his value on the defensive side?

Nieuwie can't hit the curve, but he sure knows what to do with a hanger.

Gee. Exactly. You have a surfeit of pitching, then send Ed Lynch to the Cubs, not Ron Darling. Then when Gee is done, he can go to law school and become the Cubs' ineffectual GM.

More than kind of. Sort of why I want to punch our leftfield situation in the face. If we fake it the rest of the season with Abreu and Young and Young and Nieuwenhuis, we'll probably improve. But not enough to take a step forward. And most of those guys are gone next year anyhow. I don't want to plug a hole. I want to... blow some holes in somebody else's boat.

You're gonna have to sell me on Castro. Because other than having a cool name with the word "star" at the top of it, I'm not feeling the love. Here's the case I see: Most similar by age for Starlin Castro is Edgar Renteria. Most similar by age for Zach Wheeler is Brad Bergesen. Obviously, hindsight sez you make that deal every time. Still, I'm reluctant. It's not what Wheeler is so much as the lottery ticket for more that he represents. The notion that if you want two star pitchers, you need five would-be stars like Wheeler to get you there. I like my lottery tickets!

The thing about Youngblood was that he was hurt much of the first half, so that batting average was at least partially an illusion. The second half began (and the strike ended) with the All Star Game, and Youngblood was presumably healthy enough for his pinch-hit appearance, but he went down again a few days later and his season was over. If there indeed was anything to that .350 / .398 / .531 // .929 line he walked away with, he might have made a difference down the stretch.

Now let's hope he doesn't pull an Uggla.

Certainly deserves it.

So, you know, when I think about all this let's-replace-Tejada stuff, I kind of think, sure, but is that where the answer is? I mean, that ship has sailed to an extent, and now, half way across that metaphorical ocean, we begin to see all the places we leak, and I admit I tend to wonder if left field or even first base isn't a better target. I mean, we all know the team has stunk it up at catcher, but at least we know what we're trying to do there. I have no clue what is going on in left. We have four occupants and only Nieuwenhuis seems to have a better than 30% chance of being back next year. So I surveyed how we're doing relative to the league. CATCHERFIRST BASESECOND BASERk Team OPS 1 MIL .912 2 CIN .841 3 ATL .811 4 ARI .756 5 STL .750 6 PIT .733 7 COL .727 8 SDP .707 9 MIA .691 10 PHI .689 11 SFG .677 12 WSN .613 > > 13 NYM .597 < < 14 LAD .586 15 CHC .580Rk Team OPS 1 ARI .942 2 ATL .888 3 CHC .862 4 WSN .837 5 COL .836 6 SFG .827 7 STL .808 8 CIN .773 > > 9 NYM .771 < < 10 LAD .766 11 MIA .735 12 PHI .711 13 PIT .702 14 MIL .674 15 SDP .599Rk Team OPS 1 MIL .805 2 PIT .776 3 PHI .776 > > 4 NYM .745 < < 5 LAD .728 6 COL .724 7 CIN .686 8 WSN .653 9 CHC .646 10 ARI .646 11 MIA .639 12 ATL .602 13 SFG .563 14 STL .528 15 SDP .452THIRD BASESHORTSTOPLEFT FIELDRk Team OPS 1 WSN .839 2 CIN .805 3 MIA .779 4 LAD .775 5 PIT .773 > > 6 NYM .755 < < 7 MIL .754 8 STL .751 9 COL .707 10 ARI .699 11 SFG .697 12 CHC .680 13 ATL .658 14 PHI .626 15 SDP .584RK Team OPS 1 COL .989 2 CHC .809 3 LAD .763 4 ARI .753 5 STL .750 6 WSN .728 7 SFG .725 8 PHI .683 9 ATL .670 10 PIT .663 11 MIA .634 > > 12 NYM .623 < < 13 CIN .584 14 SDP .287 15 MIL .571RK TEAM OPS 1 ATL .815 2 COL .805 3 LAD .780 4 CHC .760 5 STL .758 6 MIL .756 7 SFG .755 8 SDP .728 9 PIT .710 10 MIA .694 11 CIN .677 12 ARI .656 13 WSN .648 > > 14 NYM .587 < < 15 PHI.560CENTER FIELDRIGHT FIELDPINCH HITTERSRK Team OPS 1 PIT .938 2 COL .879 3 MIL .845 4 MIA .755 > > 5 NYM .745 < < 6 LAD .742 7 ARI .730 8 WSN .711 9 SFG .693 10 CIN .674 11 PHI .650 12 STL .641 13 SDP .624 14 ATL .618 15 CHC .603RK Team OPS 1 MIA .965 2 LAD .898 3 SFG .822 4 PHI .818 5 MIL .802 > > 6 NYM .794 < < 7 COL .779 8 WSN .752 9 ATL .716 10 PIT .699 11 SDP .674 12 CIN .663 13 ARI .637 14 STL .622 15 CHC .594RK TEAM OPS 1 COL .782 2 SDP .709 3 PIT .663 4 ARI .636 5 MIL .622 6 LAD .618 7 WSN .593 8 CIN .577 9 MIA .575 10 STL .568 11 NYM .537 12 PHI .533 13 SFG .528 14 ATL .506 15 CHC .481 Key takeaways: 1) Surprised we're doing so average-ish at first base. I've come to think that Duda has seemingly hit his ceiling, and his replacement isn't cued up. But we can survive with him. 2) Left field, on the other hand, is as much of a non-starter as I thought it was. Good news is that it's among the easiest positions to fill. Bad news is that nothing is easy. But it sure beats trying to save this lineup with a shortstop.