Edgy MD

The offense needs to take the pressure off the pitching. The pitching needs to take the pressure off the offense. Ask Jon Matlack.

Isn't that, like, not a kid-friendly show? They should have a Silk Stalkings theme night.

Not bad would be OK considering how his starts went in St. Lucie. I love that pissy little pucker-puss face he makes during his release in the shot above.

https://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/v3/fan/image?url=https://risingapple.com/wp-content/uploads/getty-images/2017/07/986428350.jpeg> I got the number 13 tatoo'd on my back. For that is the number of losses I've procured as a major leaguer, against no wins. Crediting pitchers with wins and losses is stupid, but even I know that's really bad. I have a lot of goals for the season — keep the ball down, bend the back, get my mechanics in a repeatable set-up ... but my main one is to win a game. It's stupid, but you may remember this chart from the WHERE METS RANK thread: RankPlayerTeam(s)Year(s)WLW%1)Terry FeltonTwins1979-1982016.0002)Paul SewaldMets2017-2019013.0003)Steve GerkinAthletics1945012.0004)Charlie StecherAthletics1890010.0005)Tyler CravyBrewers2015-201609.000T6)Ed O'NeilMaumees, Athletics189008.000T6)Ed AlbostaDodgers, Pirates1941-194608.000T6)Archie ReynoldsCubs, Angels, Brewers1968-197208.000T6)Paul BrownPhillies1961-196808.000T6)Scott RuffcornWhite Sox, Phillies1993-199708.000 That's the all-time worst .000 pitchers ever. All I need to get off that list is one win. And I'd like to get it before passing Felton. That sort of record can harden a man. You know what happened to Felton? He became a detective in Baton Rouge. That's some hard core shit. But I still have some baseball to play. I've already been called up and sent down once this season, one of five big league round trips. The maddening thing is that I've been exactly the opposite of this designated chump act as a minor league pitcher. While I'm 0-13 with a 5.19 ERA in the bigs, in my career in the minors, I'm 21-8, with a 2.19 ERA and 71 bloody saves! You know, that time in the minors includes 71 appearances for Las Vegas. I'm nobody's junk. I just need to get a callup when I'm at the top of my game. Fun Sewald Facts: My first callup corresponded with Ty Kelly getting released. I liked that guy, but tough titties. My dad was drafted by the Sox. My baby brother played outfield in the Houston system. He was released in mid-2017, and I'm begging the Mets to pick him up. Along with Chasen Bradford, in 2016, I was one of two native Las Vegans defending the town's honor. So I've defended Las Vegas, and I've defended Puerto Rico. This year, I hope to defend Flushing, and walk off with my first career win. How's that gonna work out in your head?

Two nines and a ten so far.

https://deadspin.com/baseballs-unwritten-rules-are-the-vestiges-of-a-drunk-a-1834283011Steve Goldman writes about length about the origins of baseballs written and unwritten rules of decorum. Apparently, it all has something to do with lobsters. It's easy to forget that baseball as we experience it is also a 19th century game once played by and for people with a sense of decorum very different from ours. Most games were played by belligerent drunks for the benefit of belligerent drunks, or, failing that, for belligerent drunk gamblers. “I can't hit the ball until I hit the bottle,” the great Louisville outfielder Pete Browning said, with disarming candor. He wasn't alone. Think of every game as being a contest between nine men who were badly hungover versus another nine who were still drunk, and neither nine were all on the same team.

The Brewers are certainly unlikely to lose this game, but over the course of the series, they really did the Mets a favor by going to the pen so early in game one.

Craig Counsell has no faith in his Anderson.

Anderson is getting whacked around but the ballses all be landing in Brewer gloves.

Todd, on the other hand, has had more good at-bats in a handful of games than I can recall seeing from him all last season.

This is such a 2018 game.

This Brew Crew pitcher hasn't even been checking Rosario.

Whoah!

Well, playing the infield in, on reflection, was a bad idea.

JdeG seems to be grabbing at straws here.

I guess Moustakas has answered the bell.

Keith remembers correctly. Neil not only had a great curve, but it was hard and tight.

Love you, Neil. Now shut up when the action is happening.

NEIL ALLEN IN THE BOOTH!!

Almost as laborious as a shutout inning can be. Let's hope he's having trouble getting loose because of the delay.

You see, Rhamey? The boss makes you do something corrupt to prove your loyalty, and he throws you over anyhow, and you end up with neither your job nor your soul. America, 2019. Transactions, 4/26 [td90]Direction[/td90][td90]GOING[/td90][td90]GOING[/td90][td90]=#00BF40]COMING[/td90][td90]=#00BF40]COMING[/td90][td90]Transaction[/td90][td90] Demoted To Syracuse[/td90][td90] Demoted To Syracuse[/td90][td90] Activated From 10- Day IL[/td90][td90]Promoted From Syracuse & Transferred From Rotation[/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/641645.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/641645.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/621261.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/621261.jpg[/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Jacob Rhame[/td90][td90]Luis Guillorme[/td90][td90]Jacob deGrom[/td90][td90]Corey Oswalt[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]3/16/93[/td90][td90]9/27/94[/td90][td90]6/19/88[/td90][td90]9/3/93[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90] YOUR 2019 Mets Coaching Staff [th]Position[/th][th]=#FF4000] Manager[/th][th]=#FF4000]Bench Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Pitching Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Hitting Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Third Base Coach[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/427427.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/427427.jpg[/td90][td90]http://kansascity.royals.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/113782.jpghttp://kansascity.royals.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/113782.jpg[/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/113099.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/113099.jpg[/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/113387.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/113387.jpg[/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Mickey Callaway[/td90][td90]Jim Riggleman[/td90][td90]Dave Eiland[/td90][td90]Chili Davis[/td90][td90]Gary DiSarcina[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]5/13/75[/td90][td90]11/9/52[/td90][td90]7/5/66[/td90][td90]1/17/60[/td90][td90]11/19/67[/td90][th]Position[/th][th]=#FF4000]First Base Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Bullpen Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Ass't Bat. Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Head Trainer[/th][th]=#FF4000]Assistant Trainer[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Chuck+Hernandez+Atlanta+Braves+Photo+Day+N4XsufvCa5Cl.jpghttp://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Chuck+Hernandez+Atlanta+Braves+Photo+Day+N4XsufvCa5Cl.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Glenn Sherlock[/td90][td90]Chuck Hernandez[/td90][td90]Tom Slater[/td90][td90]Brian Chicklo[/td90][td90]Joseph Golia[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]7/7/58[/td90][td90]11/13/65[/td90][td90]4/6/68[/td90][td90]7/17/72[/td90][td90]circa 1978[/td90][th]Position[/th][th]=#FF4000]Quality Control Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Strength Senior Advisor[/th][th]=#FF4000]Strength & Conditioning Coach[/th][th]=#FF4000]Bullpen Catcher[/th][th]=#FF4000]Bullpen Catcher[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/430002.jpghttp://newyork.mets.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/430002.jpg[/td90][td90]http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/534948.jpghttp://newyork.mets.mlb.com/images/coaches/mugshots/534948.jpg[/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Luis Rojas[/td90][td90]Mike Barwis[/td90][td90]Dustin Clarke[/td90][td90]Eric Langill[/td90][td90]Dave Racaniello[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]9/1/81[/td90][td90]6/6/73[/td90][td90]circa 1987[/td90][td90]7/7/58[/td90][td90]6/3/78[/td90] YOUR Projected 2019 New York Mets [th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/450306.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/450306.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Jacob deGrom[/td90][td90]Steven Matz[/td90][td90]Noah Syndergaard[/td90][td90]Jason Vargas[/td90][td90]Zack Wheeler[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]6/19/88[/td90][td90]5/29/91[/td90][td90]8/29/92[/td90][td90]2/2/83[/td90][td90]5/30/90[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]R/L[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]L/L[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]rp[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]rp[/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Walk Year With Option[/td90][td90][/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Luis Avilán[/td90][td90]Edwin Diaz[/td90][td90]Jeurys Familia[/td90][td90]Robert Gsellman[/td90][td90]Seth Lugo[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]7/19/89[/td90][td90]3/22/94[/td90][td90]10/10/89[/td90][td90]7/18/93[/td90][td90]11/17/89[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]L/L[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]sp[/td90][td90]sp[/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#00BF00] Catcher[/th][th]=#00BF00] Catcher[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/621261.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/621261.jpg[/td90][td90]http://www.milb.com/images/623354/generic/180x270/623354.jpghttp://www.milb.com/images/623354/generic/180x270/623354.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://www.milb.com/images/624413/t507/180x270/624413.jpghttp://www.milb.com/images/624413/t507/180x270/624413.jpg[/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Corey Oswalt[/td90][td90]Daniel Zamora[/td90][td90]Travis d'Arnaud[/td90][td90]Wilson Ramos[/td90][td90]Peter Alonso[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]9/3/93[/td90][td90]4/15/93[/td90][td90]5/30/90[/td90][td90]8/10/87[/td90][td90]12/7/94[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]L/L[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#00BF00]Catcher[/td90][td90]=#00BF00]Catcher[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]First Base[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90]sp[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/453943.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/453943.jpg[/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/643446.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/643446.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Robinson Canó[/td90][td60]J.D. Davis[/td60][td90]Todd Frazier[/td90][td90]Jeff McNeil[/td90][td90]Amed Rosario[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]10/22/82[/td90][td60]4/27/93[/td60][td90]2/12/86[/td90][td90]4/8/92[/td90][td90]11/20/95[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td60]R/R[/td60][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Second Base[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Third Base[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Third Base[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Second Base[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Shortstop[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90]1b, 3b[/td90][td90]1b, lf, rp[/td90][td90]1b[/td90][td90]3b, ss, cf[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#4080FF] Outfielder[/th][th]=#4080FF] Outfielder[/th][th]=#4080FF] Outfielder[/th][th]=#4080FF] Outfielder[/th][th]=#4080FF] Outfielder[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td60]Keon Broxton[/td60][td90]Michael Conforto[/td90][td90]Juan Lagares[/td90][td90]Brandon Nimmo[/td90][td90]Dominic Smith[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td60]5/7/90[/td60][td90]3/1/93[/td90][td90]3/17/89[/td90][td90]3/27/93[/td90][td90]6/15/95[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td60]R/R[/td60][td90]L/L[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]L/L[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#4080FF]Center Field[/td90][td90]=#4080FF]Center Field[/td90][td90]=#4080FF]Center Field[/td90][td90]=#4080FF]Left Field[/td90][td90]=#4080FF]Left Field[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90]rf, cf[/td90][td90]lf, rf[/td90][td90]rf, lf[/td90][td90]cf, rf[/td90][td90]1b[/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Has Options[/td90] Also on 40-Man Roster [th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://www.milb.com/images/543193/t561/180x270/543193.jpghttp://www.milb.com/images/543193/t561/180x270/543193.jpg[/td90][td90]http://www.milb.com/images/642584/generic/180x270/642584.jpghttp://www.milb.com/images/642584/generic/180x270/642584.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/641341.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/641341.jpg[/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Chris Flexen[/td90][td90]Drew Gagnon[/td90][td90]Franklyn Kilomé[/td90][td90]Walker Lockett[/td90][td90]Tyler Bashlor[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]7/1/94[/td90][td90]6/26/90[/td90][td90]6/25/95[/td90][td90]5/3/94[/td90][td90]4/16/93[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF40BF]Starting Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90]rp[/td90][td90]rp[/td90][td90]rp[/td90][td90]rp[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]On7-Day IL With Binghamton[/td90][td90]On 10-Day IL[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/621098.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/621098.jpg[/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/623402.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/623402.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/622098.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/622098.jpg[/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Eric Hanhold[/td90][td90]Tim Peterson[/td90][td90]Jacob Rhame[/td90][td90]Paul Sewald[/td90][td90]Drew Smith[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]11/1/93[/td90][td90]2/22/91[/td90][td90]3/16/93[/td90][td90]5/26/90[/td90][td90]9/24/93[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]sp[/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]On 10-Day IL[/td90][th]Position Group[/th][th]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/th][th]=#00BF00] Catcher[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#BF80FF] Infielder[/th][th]=#4080FF] Outfielder[/th][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/641645.jpghttp://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/images/players/head_shot/641645.jpg[/td90][td90][/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Name[/td90][td90]Justin Wilson[/td90][td90]Tomás Nido[/td90][td90]Luis Guillorme[/td90][td90]Jed Lowrie[/td90][td90]Yoenis Céspedes[/td90][td90]DoB[/td90][td90]8/18/87[/td90][td90]4/12/94[/td90][td90]9/27/94[/td90][td90]4/17/84[/td90][td90]10/18/85[/td90][td90]B/T[/td90][td90]L/L[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]L/R[/td90][td90]S/R[/td90][td90]R/R[/td90][td90]Primary Position[/td90][td90]=#FF8000]Relief Pitcher[/td90][td90]=#00BF00]Catcher[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Shortstop[/td90][td90]=#BF80FF]Second Base[/td90][td90]=#4080FF]Left Field[/td90][td90]Other Positions[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]1b[/td90][td90]2b, 3b[/td90][td90]ss, 3b, 1b[/td90][td90][/td90][td90]Status Notes[/td90][td90]On 10-Day IL[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]With Syracuse[/td90][td90]On 10-Day IL[/td90][td90]On 10-Day IL[/td90]

https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2019/02/27/PNJM/c282d2c6-5ba4-4121-bc43-772ad53f2a8e-ax061_0e9f_9.jpg?crop=1023,575,x0,y12&width=3200&height=1680&fit=bounds > What do the fans of Puente Alto do at fútbol matches? They Héctor Santiago! I'm Héctor Santiago, and I've heard all that shit. And when (not if) I get promoted, I'll join the great Met fraternity of METS WHOSE NAMES ARE FOREIGN CAPITALS, including Miguel Cairo, José Lima (RIP), my distant cousin José Santiago, Claudell Washington, and Dwight Bern(ard). Those guys are great, and they totally turn up their noses at those uppity METS WHOSE NAMES ARE STATE CAPITALS. That's this pathetic group of Al, Austin, and Darrin Jackson, along with Darryl Boston and Rob Carson (City). LOL, state guys! I'm actually kind of a dick about that, considering I still haven't gotten called up, despite being given every chance to make the team in the spring. But I've been thinking about it, and I'm thinking it's Edgy's fault for not getting this thread up sooner. He's all, "I'm busy — I'm JOB hunting, as if THAT'S so sacrosanct. A LOT OF US ARE LOOKING FOR JOBS, EDGY! THIS THREAD WON'T HELP ME FIND ONE IF YOU DON'T POST IT UNTIL THE SEASON IS HALF OVER!" OK, fine, let's get the résumé stuff out there. I'm a thick Puerto-descended Rican lefthander (Newark represent! Cory Booker 2000!), who starts and relieves, with eight years of big league experience, with sleeves of tatts on BOTH arms (value added!). My ERAs were well over five for two years with Minnesota there, but I got my career back a little after the White Sox converted me to a reliever. I also purified myself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka before I left. By the end of 2018, my ERA as a starter was 6.12, but a serviceable 3.87 out of the pen. So [CROSSOUT]if[/CROSSOUT] when the Mets promote me, you'll probably want to see me in relief. Me? I don't care. I'll take whatever work I can get. Fun stat: Your LOoGy dreams are a longshot. Last season righthanders OPS'd .804 against me ... and lefthanders OPS'd .804 also. I guess I was Mr. .804. You don't want to draw conclusions based on that, as I transitioned to a full-time reliever for the first time, but you might want to store it away, and add it to the pile of Santiago evidence. But while you're at it, just remember that I'm starting in Syracuse, so if you see some less-than-awesome stats going forward, know that I can give you more out of the pen. MORE! Yeah, that's right, I'm Héctor, and I live and die by my four-seamer. Yeah, I also throw a curveball, a slider, a changeup, an occasional cutter, and even pull a screwball out of my ass now and then, but if I'm doing my job right, it's my four-seamer that will keep you up at night. Like Steven Matz, I hold the rare distinction of batting righty but throwing lefty. Like Seth Lugo, I won a sliver medal with Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Classic in 2017, despite both of us being born stateside. So, if you don't know what my season is going to be like, maybe ask Seth. And then let me know.

Yasmani Granal is your catcher. He reportedly turned down big free agent $$ from the Mets. Jesús Aguilar is your first baseman. At least he was the last time I checked. He's been awful this season. Like, the Orioles look at Chris Davis and say, "Well, at least he's better than Jesús Aguilar." I guess Eric Thames is starting to take his job. Former White Sock infielder Tyler Saladino has been called up and will probably see time at second if Mousakas can't answer the bell. He looks half-Filipino, so maybe he and d'Arnaud can start a fraternal organization. His career was knocked off course by Tommy John, who can really be a dick when it comes to that sort of thing. Sluggy, lefthanded third-baseman Travis Shaw is also off to a crappy start, dancing on the Mendoza line. His father was journeyman 90's reliever Jeff Shaw. Orlando Arcia is the shortstop. He had power two years ago. It disappeared in 2018, but seems to be back now. I guess everybody's is back. Ryan Braun is in left. He's not only a jerk, but he's also living in Mendozaland. Lorenzo Cain in center is one of the few Brewer hitters who isn't off to a bad start. He's not off to that good a start but it looks good comparatively. He's also one of the few Brewers who doesn't strike out prodigiously. It's not like he's particularly good at avoiding strikeouts but he looks good comparatively. But the redemption in that sluggish offense comes from rightfielder Christian Yelich. The defending MVP has absolutely eclipsed his performance from last season and along with a couple of solid relievers has made a .500 team out of a group that is otherwise playing last-place ball. One of those relievers, Junior Guerra, has hit the bereavement list along with his 1.38 ERA. We're looking at a clout-or-a-whiff team here, and if a well-rested deGrom is indeed healthy and on his game, we could be looking at eye-popping strikeout numbers. (This, of course, doesn't guarantee a win, especially in 2019.) Maybe it's a good day to try the Dominic Smith-at-shortstop experiment.

Wow.

=Ceetar post_id=7096 time=1555076562 user_id=102]Here comes Beasley around third, but cut off by Montanari, and he's, of course, standing up"