Too Dumb to Share, but Tomorrow It's a Front Page, so...

[Edgy MD]

Derek Jeter intangibles dude back to life: http://deadspin.com/derek-jeter-revived-a-dying-man-with-his-handsome-face-1480621917?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_facebook&utm_source=deadspin_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

[Frayed Knot]

A coworker was at an event for our firm today where Derek Jeter was a guest of honor. My coworker was at a table with a guy who started having a heart attack, called 911, and stuffed some advil down this guys throat. Jeter came down to assess the situation, shot a "how you doin'?" at my coworker, who happens to be an attractive 40 something blonde, and cheers the potentially dead guy back to life with his charms.

So if I've got this straight, a guy starts having a heart attack so Jeter uses the occasion to chat-up the victim's shapely, blonde table-mate ... and somehow out of all this Saint Derek gets the credit for the guy not dying?!?

[Ceetar]

sloppy reporting..

did coworker chick get anything good in the giftbasket?

[Edgy MD]

Frayed Knot wrote: So if I've got this straight, a guy starts having a heart attack so Jeter uses the occasion to chat-up the victim's shapely, blonde table-mate ... and somehow out of all this Saint Derek gets the credit for the guy not dying?!?

You should see what he could've done if he wasn't rehabbing.

Yeah, I dunno.

[Edgy MD]

I nominate the guy standing background right as the biggest Yankee fan ever.

"This guy's totally dying but that's D-d-d-derek Je... Shit. Cameraphone. Better cover up my
sweet Jeterboner fast!"

[Lefty Specialist]

I hear his cufflinks cure cancer.

[metirish]

Saved him from his heart attack but now the guy has the clap.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

[Dying]

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

metirish wrote: Saved him from his heart attack but now the guy has the clap.

Bad ass!

[Guest Mets Guy in Michigan]

LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: [Dying]

Dude, what are you trying to do, summon Derek Jeter to come over and save your life?

[metirish]

Golf clap.....clap clap

Not a Derek Jeter clap

[MFS62]

There was a picture of a meeting of the "Core Four" in today's Daily Snooze.
After a moment of projectile vomiting, I tore it out of the paper and threw it away because I didn't want it in my house.
I got better on my own, I didn't want Jeter to try to save me.

Later

[Lefty Specialist]

He couldn't have saved him if he was a slow ground ball up the middle, though.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

metsguyinmichigan wrote: LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr wrote: [Dying] Dude, what are you trying to do, summon Derek Jeter to come over and save your life?

Who the hell do you think is, from a distance, keeping my LDL cholesterol down, and my prostate normal-sized? A doctor?

[dinosaur jesus]

You guys can keep taking your Jeter injections. When I'm on the verge of death, or just need a little help getting through the eighth inning, I take a dose of Paco Rodriguez.

[Ceetar]

dinosaur jesus wrote: You guys can keep taking your Jeter injections. When I'm on the verge of death, or just need a little help getting through the eighth inning, I take a dose of Paco Rodriguez.

As long as you consult a sabermatrician for games lasting longer than 4 hours.