Day Off Doggerel

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Some time back I got the misguided idea to do a Mets version of the famous Ogden Nash poem Lineup for Yesterday, and I was going to post it here until I wisely checked the archive just before posting it and found that it had been done (to death, perhaps) in 2005.

I was just looking for another file on my computer and found it, and since it's a day off I thought I'd throw it out there and invite everyone to look over the old thread as well as my shot at it and toss out some verses of their own. The original Nash masterpiece is in the linked page here:

http://archives.cranepoolforum.net/1100/f1_t1153.shtml

And here is my submission. A couple of these look like some of the stuff in the linked thread, but there are only so many guys whose names begin with certain letters. Anyway:

A is for Agee,
Whose plays in Game 3
Filled the O�s with despair
And the Mets fans with glee

B is for Brooks
We liked Hubie, we did
But the Expos said �We want him
If you want Kid�

C is for Charles
The poetical Glider
To whom, Murph would say
One should not throw a slider

D is for Dykstra
Who went for the ball
With zero regard
For Mookie or wall

E is Ed Kranepool
A Met from the start
Less in the record books
More in our heart

F is for Franco
The three we have had
A closer, a pinch hitter
And a grand-dad

G is for Glynn
Living every kid�s dream
From selling the hot dogs
To making the team

H - Keith Hernandez
From Whitey estranged
The minute he got here
Things started to change

I is for me
As Ogden would claim
With my wife and our kids
In our seats at the game

J is for Jones
Catching Davey�s last out
An image we�ll all see
Forever, no doubt

K is the Korner
Where they honored Doc
Who gave us such joy
Then such terrible shock

L is for Landrith
The catcher Case got
They�d all be passed balls
Were he not there to squat

M is McDowell
Whose arm wouldn�t tire
He�d give you a hotfoot
Then put out a fire

N is Napoleon
Through the minors he flew
Major league pitching
Was his Waterloo

O is for Otis
Who soon became famous
But it happened out in
Kansas City, the shame is

P is Piazza
The best with the bat
I sure hope his plaque
Says NY on his hat

Q never began
The name of any Met
So Q is for Queens
Where the Mets play, you bet

R is for Reyes
The smile on his face is
From hitting one into
The gap for three bases

S is for Staub, though
He�s no Gold Glove winner
He�d hit a home run
Then he�d cook you your dinner

T�s Tom Terrific
Without parallel
Trading Seaver earned Don Grant
A box seat in Hell

U is Del Unser
We got for McGraw
Ya gotta believe
We loved Tug a lot more

V is Ventura
His slam cleared the wall
But thanks to Todd Pratt
It�s a single, that�s all

W�s William Wilson
But Mookie we called him
The Sawx had it won
�Til his roller befalled �em

X will end Maddux
On his Cooperstown plaque
Wait, we had his brother
So I take that back

Y is for Young
What a record he holds
Losing all twenty-seven
Would make Young feel old

Z is for Zachry
Righthander with beard
He wasn�t Tom Seaver
Just as we feared

Over 800 more
And I�d name the whole lot
But my poetry stinks
And that�s all that I�ve got.

[MFS62]

E is for effort
And I have to say
The result that you got
Earns you an "A".

Later

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Nice work. We need another crotchety English prof in this thread!

I used to be a better poster back in 05.

C is for Cleon
Livin the life
Caught out of uniform
Without his wife

Q is for Quilvio
Traded for Everett
Though they passed in the night
I can't say if they ever met

D is for David
Arthur, Sky King
"Obnoxious my presence,
Majestic my swing."

[metirish]

Bret was a real Debbie fucking Downer in that old thread, talk about killing the fun...geez

[Guest Edgy DC]

You can do it with just 2009 Mets.

A's Angel Berroa
No answer, it's clear
Was once ROY
Now YRU here?

B --- Emil Brown
Of little reknown
Was passed on the bases
Then passed out of town

C is for Castro
No fav'rite of Jerry
When Schneider got healthy
Was dumped in a hurry

D's for Delgado
Who'll always endeavor
To get well by next week,
Next decade, or never

E's for Nick Evans
Did not make the roster
Was awful in Buf'lo
Like some crap imposter

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

F, Figueroa
Pitched for his life
His passion inspired
By the wrath of his wife

G is for Gary
Swinging with fury
For his 500th homer
And Social Security

[G-Fafif]

H was Hernandez
For a time Livan large
His ERA bloated
He was placed on a barge

[dinosaur jesus]

I is for Ike
Whom we like
A rara avis
This Davis

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

I is for Ike Whom we like A rara avis This Davis

Howzabout:

I is for Ike
Son of MFY Davis
A homegrown first baseman
What a most rara avis

and

J is for Jerry
Lineup Jerry-rigger
Bunt opportunity?
Bet he'll pull the trigger

K? How 'bout JaKobs
Most erstwhile of sluggers
His bat makes so much wind
It could repel muggers

OE: Crap. I misread and jumped a year.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Pinch-hit "I" for "A"
in Minaya's first name
For a quick-swinging catcher
Who calls an "eh" game

J is for Jeremy
Bat? Poor. Glove? Mid-rate.
Arm? Okay, when his throws
Weren't Dodging home plate.

[Guest Edgy DC]

K is for Ken
Now Takahash Prime
He pitched kind of well
But that was his crime

[Guest Swan Swan H]

L is Lance Broadway
And it's fair to say
He often got lit up
Like the Great White Way

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

L's for Luis
Whose pitch-taking ass
Looks much better on base
Than backped'ling on grass

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

M is for Misch
Hooked like a fish
When the rotation consisted
of Johan and a wish

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

N is for Niese
And also for Nieve
Two rookie hurlers
Who broke like a levee

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

O is our Ollie
Who couldn't do for us
The same solid he'd gotten
From Omar and Boras

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

P is the letter
that starts Parnell
The Mets tried the same
And it didn't end well

[Guest Swan Swan H]

Q is for quick
Which Ramon Castro ain't
Watching him run's like
Watching drying paint

[metirish]

P is for Pelfrey
with tongue sticking out
licked his wife's clit
and didn't strike out

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

R is for Redding
Who sported red hair
And a beard so big, his
ERA fit in there

[Guest Swan Swan H]

S is for Stoner
Who didn't last long
But brought to mind Grant
Roberts lighting his bong

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

S is is for Stokes
I'm tellin ya folks
He got lit up
Like a pack of smokes

[Guest Edgy DC]

T is for Thole
Who ought know his role
Reach base like an ace
And fill the two-hole

[G-Fafif]

U was the turn
Omir's career took
From Topps All-Star Rookie
To Bison yearbook

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

V is for Valdez
Then-Met, current Phil
Though slick with the glove,
An offensive oil spill

[G-Fafif]

W's Wright
Despite the silent first letter
If his bat had spoke louder
Oh Nine woulda been better

[Guest Swan Swan H]

X is X-out, like Cancel,
That's Robinson's name
In the whole bloody season
He just played one game

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

V is for Victories
Seventy in total
The Mets played ball
Primarily scrotal

[Benjamin Grimm]

Some of these seem to have way too many syllables.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

Benjamin Grimm wrote: Some of these seem to have way too many syllables.

Indeed. Somewhere, that Bret fella's blowing an aneurysm.