Frayed Knot Old-Timey Member Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Bobby Cox's lamentAs I walked down the streets of AtlantaI found the field where the Braves like to playThere sat Bobby Cox all slumped down in his dugouthis face was the shade of the red Georgia clayI could see by his uni that he was a liferHe waved me on over as I slowly walked byand said, "come sit beside me and hear my sad story,my team is in shambles and I'm fixin' to cry""Where once in the East we used to be dom'nant,a dozen straight titles we salted away.Octobers were ours as a matter of birthrightBut soon it will be our elimination day""It took four aging starters to put nails in my coffinsix sore-armed relievers to blow every save. Find that guy with the tom-tom and chief Nokahomaand tell them to follow my corpse to the grave"They'll beat that drum slowly, and play the fife lowlyThe fans chop their arms as the hearse moves along"Take me down to the outfield and lay a pennant o'er meI once ruled the land but it's now all gone wrong"I could see by his scorecard that he still had ChipperHe plays next to Yunel and named his kid SheaWas hitting .400 'til his body betrayed himand now each day's paper calls him 'day-to-day'We look over to first base and don't see Teixeiradealt away for Kotchman who played in LAAnd then Kelly Johnson who feasts on Met pitchingbut he's not hitting now and his first name sounds gayWhere once in the outfield they used to have Andruw,he slammed every pitch and he caught every hitBut now it's just Kotsay and Francouer and Blancoa bunch of old has-beens who've all turned to shit" On the mound we'll see Jo-Jo and Jurrgens and Hamptonas Smoltz and Tom Glavine rest their old bones and drooland Tim Hudson ponders his future in baseballwhile Mike Hampton's driving his kids to their schoolSo let's beat the Braves slowly and lay them down lowlyPin their backs to the ground as the ref counts to threeReign o'er the East division and build up our cushiondrop them down the standings 'til they look up at D.C.OK yeah, so I posted a version of that ditty about a month ago. But, seeing as how I originally conjured it up to be used in a goofy KTE, I'm inflicting on y'all again. And if you don't know what song is being parodied here well then I can't help you.For a summary in non-musical form, we're 2-7 against these guys this year (2-1 here, 0-6 in their place) although we haven't seen them since May.5 of those 9 games were either Smoltz or Hudson starts and both of them are out for the year. Jurrjens is the only starter we're facing this week who we've seen this season. He beat us in Atlanta on May 21, going 7 innings gving up 2 runs (1 earned) on 5 hits & 2 BBs as he faced Mike Pelfrey (4 IP, 6 ER, 8 hits, 3 BBs) before we traded him in for version 2.0All games 7:00PM* Tuesday - Jo-Jo Reyes (he is a man who thinks he is a pitcher) 3-3; 5.33 ERA in 15 starts* Wednesday - Jair Jurrgens: 11-8; 3.15 - the 22 y/o from Curacao, Netherlands Antilles has been their best pitcher this year* Thursday - Mike Hampton: Missed nearly 3 complete years. Has 5 starts since coming back and is 2-1 w/a 6.92 ERA over 26 inningsWe counter with Perez, Pelfrey & PedroOffense: Catcher McCann and Chipper (when he's healthy) have been their best players this year.Kelly Johnson and Yunel Escobar (2B & SS) have calmed down from their early season hot streaks. Jeff Francouer's (RF) plate discipline isn't getting any better 3 seasons into his career.Casey Kotchmann (1B) has done little to make them forget the Teixeira eira, and Ruben Gotay has done little off the bench to make Omar regret cutting him loose. Bullpen: They've got a bunch of guys out there, several of whom I've even heard of.
Centerfield Old-Timey Member Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Yeah, so I'm willing to concede that Omar was right and I was wrong with that whole Tatis over Gotay thing.
metirish Old-Timey Member Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Where once in the outfield they used to have Andruw,he slammed every pitch and he caught every hitBut now it's just Kotsay and Francouer and Blancoa bunch of old has-beens who've all turned to shit"Very funny, good stuff. I'm actually looking forward to seeing Hampton.
Zach Thornton Syracuse Mets - AAA LHP On Sunday, the southpaw tossed five shutout innings as the bulk pitcher. He gave up 2 hits, walked 2 and had 5 strikeouts. Explore Zach Thornton News >
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