Scott Schafer, World's Fastest Nipple (Split from Sch. Com.)

[Guest Edgy DC]

Scott's one of those sad sacks I've reported as being in the limbo of "Extended Spring Training" all year. He's about to find a new limbo called "Failed Baseball Prospect."

St. Lucie Mets pitcher arrested

By PAUL QUINLAN

Palm Beach Post

Staff Writer

Monday, August 27, 2007

A pitcher drafted by the New York Mets in 2006, whose off-color remarks in a MySpace page cost him an agent and thousands in salary, found more trouble early Sunday morning when deputies arrested him on suspicion of drunk driving, arrest records show.

St. Lucie County deputies clocked Scott Alan Schafer, 19, of Texas, driving his Hummer 69 miles-per-hour in a 45 mile-per-hour zone on Okeechobee Road at around 1 a.m. Sunday morning, an arrest report said.

Asked if he knew why he was pulled over, Schafer said he "was doing close to 80 miles per hour," the report said.

Deputies said his speech was mumbled, his eyes bloodshot and watery and he smelled of alcohol, according to the report.

Schafer declined to take a breath test. After performing several field sobriety tests, he was transported to the St. Lucie County Jail and his car was towed, the report said.

Schafer joined the St. Lucie Mets in 2006, the same year the pitcher graduated from high school in Texas.

The Mets later learned about Schafer's MySpace page in which he boasted about drinking and made obscene remarks.

The Mets investigated Schafer and eventually paid him a lower salary than he was likely to have made otherwise.

A Mets spokesman said Schafer played one game in 2006.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Highlights from Scott's myspace profile (since removed, so we have Can't Stop the Bleeding to thank for thinking in terms of posterity):

His portrait:


Best physical feature:
"My penis."

First thought upon waking up in the morning:
"Why am I such a badass?"

Favorite Instrument:
"A vagina."

[Guest Edgy DC]

More Schafer commentary from "Can't Stop the bleeding:

]Courtney Bartlett said, 09.19.06 at 10:58 pm Scott and I were dating at the time he found out about going pro� he made up some bulshit story about why we were braking up! he treated me so good but in reality he is the most cocky, arrogant ass hole ever! Scott was cheating on me with the girls on myspace. he told them all about his penis, which i might add isnt that big, nothing like he says it is. he is just a jerk. and i hope he gets to read this, and if u do scott, just remember that what goes around comes around and thanks for ditching be for some whore for prom� fuck u scott and i hope u fuck up in ur baseball career because there�s many more people who deserve it than u!!!!!! fuck u, go to hell� and just know that i wasnt one of ur teamates so i dont know why u tried to play me like a fool�

Hell. Hath. No. Fury.

[metirish]

Great find ,you couldn't make some of this up...of topic but I must post this picture of Bill Walton from that site you linked....








pretty good site actually,classic Piazza pic when you scroll down.

[seawolf17]

="Edgy DC"]First thought upon waking up in the morning: "Why am I such a badass?"

Incredibly, I think the exact same thing every morning. There goes my future as a minor league pitcher.

[Guest Edgy DC]

Well, in two pro seasons, he's only got two more innings logged than you have.