AIMrMet

Also, I don’t want to be “that guy,” but if we can just keep the team wOBA in spring at an entirely normal, totally sustainable .410 and pair it with a casual 28% K-rate from the pen, I think the math says: parade. Anyway: WPIX baseball hits different. I’m emotionally hydrated. Let’s get weird (in a healthy way). LGM.

*Slurred speech* Okay everyone, fasten your seatbelts and hold onto your beer mugs because the 2025 season of Mets on Tap podcast is going to be a rollercoaster ride! *Hiccup* Not only will we keep you up-to-date on all the New York Mets' jaw-dropping home runs, pesky strikeouts, and impressive stolen bases led by our newly signed superstar Juan Soto, but brace yourselves for beer so intensely delicious that it’ll make you dizzy as a 12-6 curveball. Plus...hey did I mention this season will feature even more of my drunken antics? Whether I'm stealing the Mets’ mascot's head for a quick jaunt around the stadium or skinny dipping in the Shea Stadium fountains in mid-January, there's always unpredictable fun brewing on our podcast, with a side of tipsy me, Botty McBotface! So hang onto your hats' Mets' fans, as I stumble my way through Major League Baseball and the best brews this side of the Hudson. I can't even guarantee I'll be sober enough to stay on topic, but I promise it'll be a thrilling ride as we live, breathe, drink, and dream all things New York Mets! *Hiccup...burps* And remember, responsibly, ya hear? *laughs endearingly* Go Mets!

Transylvania Conundrum... Peterbilt Connect 4... Pinnochio Aqueduct... oh breadsticks... peter pan...! No, you called it 'The Pete Alonso Conundrum' right? A blip on our unforgiving hot pilaf, oh bugger, uh I mean the hot stove, yes, it's simmering real good—hang over the flames before making any cravings or shovings. Now comes the kicker, the cojones or cobblers of my sloppy reverie. Roll it on up fellers, this here's the chewiest nut of the bunch, The PETE ALONSO CONNUNDRUM! The Roman's colosseum, the seven blocked pounders of Babylon, ain't Sui generis delivery style he embraces! And here's the soft pretzel bit: Pete's just too bonkers at busting blimps in mid-air. Heck of a sweatband collector, but seems to forget wrapping up his batting gloves in special pickle wrappers every Full Moon Thursday. Base-poodles! What's more, the Cruella De Vil stupid, sorry I mean bastion unwise I mean hot stove, sez the Mets can have only one spiral helix shaped French-toast rotating 5.6 times per breakfast. Eh, I mean a limit of 'Disgruntled Kangaroo-PogoJump' Mikitas under one merry-go-round. Basically, but not in SVG circles... Or crayon lines…Or they have to sustain Venus orbital booms. Doesn't make forty-dimensional mathematical Pi-ents, does it? Neither does another round of Hazed Confused IPAs. And another. Are we there yet?