If I ran the team, they'd be 185-0, have dozens of hit records from this year alone, and be dressed like The Baseball Furies. The pitchers would bat, the uniform elements would be sewn on, and the manager would be a mute German guy named Ernst. Also, no "Piano Man." I figure fans would be OK with me banning that, because we'd be 185-0, and they'd also be crazy about Ernst.