G-Fafif

Opening in Cincy where Baker's been fried. Or Dusty's been wiped away. Either way, he gone.

The big story: League Division Series! Game One! Cardinals! Beltran! Dodgers! Kershaw! Pirates? Braves? Losers! Friday? American League gets underway! National League Game Two! Four games! Starts at one! Ends late! Mets? Not playing! Still!

Remember that miserable start I got off to and how I turned it around? That was 2012. Thought I could do it again in 2013. In the words of Mrs. Krabappel, "HAH!" But there was one night when I thought I had it goin' on. Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN -- geez, what a pain in the ass that is -- we're losing to the Braves at home, just like we'd been losing to the Braves all weekend (this was the series where we lost a suspended game and a regular game in the same night), but we have a little somethin' goin' in the eighth. Buck tied it at two, the bases were left loaded for me and somehow I poked a ground ball through the right side to bring home the go-ahead run and the insurance run. Son of a gun, we led and won, 4-2. This was May 26 (same night Peggy accidentally bayonetted Abe in the ambulance on Mad Men -- I know at least one big Mets fan who chose to watch that live and look at our game during commercials), right after we had fallen to a heretofore season-worst 15 below .500 and right before the fucking Yankees came to Citi Field. Next thing you know, we sweep those fuckers, their season's never the same and we have a five-game winning streak. Pissed that away in Miami, of course, and a week after that was over, I was a fucking Las Vegas 51. But for that one at-bat and those two rib-eye steaks, I believed, damn it. I believed I was turning it around f'reals. I mean, start me up! Den Dekker, you're up. C'mon rook', don't make me get out the bridesmaid gown again.

LaTroy '75 is a perfect fit and Daniel '72 Boyhood exists on a plane of its own. Spectacular! Sorry Dice-K couldn't pull out the win if just to a) see his card and comprehend the majesty of Matsuzaka as the Mets' best pitcher of a month that came on the heels of a month where he was first nowhere in sight and then the worst pitcher in human history or at least since Aaron Laffey.

Rumor has it Keith Hernandez took a wrong turn en route to Sag Harbor and that's how he wound up representing his beloved Cleveland Indians in the in 2013 non-championship parade. Event organizers came under pressure from the Ohio state legislature to up the starpower of the Buckeye delegation after Larry Stahl came marching in under the Red banner and was met by cries of, "Where's Alex Trevi�o?" At least one faction of lawmakers was said to be so be upset that they would move to limit early voting in the next presidential election because, as an official put it, "That's how we respond to everything in Ohio." The Tribe ensured it would be ineligible for championship consideration when it lost the American League Wild Card Game on October 2.

Watching last night's game at PNC made me think about parks that have yet to host postseason games. Turns out there are only two active: Marlins Park and Citi Field. By default, Citi Field has gone longer than any other with no playoff baseball, not having it until no sooner than its sixth year (if we're extraordinarily lucky). Granted, it's "tops" among two in this category (and it's teams that earn playoff spots, not ballparks), but I did a little research and discovered that 21 of the 28 current parks that have hosted postseason baseball got their groove on within their first five seasons. So, yeah, Citi Field is lagging, historically speaking. ONE YEAR Fenway Park, 1912 SkyDome (now Rogers Centre), 1989 Coors Field, 1995 Turner Field, 1997 Pac Bell Park (AT&T Park), 2000 Busch Stadium, 2006 Yankee Stadium, 2009 Target Field, 2010 TWO YEARS Dodger Stadium, 1963 Jacobs Field (Progressive Field), 1995 Bank One Ballpark (Chase Field), 1999 Safeco Field, 2000 Minute Maid Park, 2001 Petco Park, 2005 THREE YEARS Comiskey Park (U.S. Cellular Field), 1993 The Ballpark in Arlington (Rangers Ballpark in Arlington), 1996 FOUR YEARS Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum (O.co Coliseum), 1971 Royals Stadium (Kauffman Stadium), 1976 Citizens Bank Park, 2007 FIVE YEARS Orioles Park at Camden Yards, 1996 Nationals Park, 2012 More regarding postseason ballpark trends and whatnot presented here.

How could anybody hate the architect of Butterball Field?

The Byrd here. Can't talk long 'cause I'm busy preparing myself for the opener of the NLDS vs. the St. Louis Cardinals. That's some playoff baseball in case you're not familiar with the nomenclature. I wasn't until this year. Man, it's the best. Because I remain quite fond of y'all back in the Q (that's Queens -- does anybody actually call it the Q?), I won't say my big day was getting traded out of nowhere and into a pennant race. I'm gonna remember with warmth that makeup game in Colorado, June 27. I basically won that game myself, with a two-run homer of Matt Belisle in the eighth and a throw cutting down Michael Cuddyer at second in the ninth. We won, 3-2, and that was basically my doing. And you know why I did it? Preparation. I don't just throw that word around like it's a 9-6 assist. Next day TC was talking about me at his pregame presser, which is usually a Festival of Alibis, but in this case he was lauding me for practicing those throws. Singled me out, indicating nobody else on the team prepared the way I do. Makes me wonder if everybody else on the Mets did if they wouldn't have finished stronger. I mean actually stronger, not Sandy Alderson's weak-ass version of ".500 in our last 100 games" stronger. Water under the Roberto Clemente Bridge now. Gotta go. If anybody sees Tim Byrdak, tell him he's next. We never actually met, but I hear he's an OK dude.

I don't remember anything specific about Fred. The author may have meant it in a general sense. Or was just misremembering.

Wrong Wilpon. "Jeff Wilpon said he's going to learn how to run a baseball team and take over at the end of the year. Run for the hills, boys. I think probably all those baseball people will bail." Thorough profile of the unbeloved Jeff Wilpon from 2008 here.

[youtube:xvg05an3]VseFNzVB0mA[/youtube:xvg05an3] Bill Mazer, for those who didn't cut, didn't have an enlightened educator or didn't get home in time to catch the end (as I did).

Edgy MD wrote: Larry Stahl, wow. I was at least expecting Trevi�o, or somebody. Even if you show Seaver the money ahead of time, he ain't marching in no also-ran parade. Sparky looked up and down his bench, and Stahl was all, "Pick me! Pick me!" So he picked him. Sometimes it's as simple as volunteering.

While it is true that I like to smash a good towel in an effusive teammate's face now and then, my best day playing was way the fuck back on April 6, first weekend of the season, when I drove in four runs against one of my many former clubs, the Marlins. Gave us a lead with a two-run double off their only only real pitcher, Ricky Nolasco, and capped the three-run rally that put those bastards away in the eighth. I was smokin' throughout April. Totally gave me immunity for sucking until I was traded at the end of August. Good times. Not as good as what's going on in Pittsburgh, but individually it was pretty happening. Well, I gotta go. Playoffs and all that. Hey, you know who has plenty of time to chime in on this "best day" jazz? My old buddy, Greg Burke. Only kidding about that "old buddy" stuff. Couldn't pick him out of a lineup of exhausted quadruple-A sidearmers if I tried.

Hey, Mike "Bax" Baxter here, obviously forgotten about again, except by Jay Horwitz, whose picture I kept next to my bed growing up in Whitestone. I've had it with you fuckers constantly overlooking my presence on this team. I've been here three years and every September you're still all "here, rook, put on this chick outfit, all the rooks gotta do it," and as much as I enjoy homophobic/misogynistic team-building exercises, I keep trying to tell you I got here in 2011 and have been driving in big runs off the bench ever since. Oh, and I saved this franchise's only no-hitter and paid for it with two months on the Disabled List. But no, just skip all the way to goddamn Scott Rice like he's some kind of novelty because he's almost as old as Scott Atchison but never pitched in the big leagues before. Same fuckers who sent me down to Las Vegas with Ike, because I happened to be standing next to him after that 20-inning debacle in June and it was just assumed I sucked just as much. You want my best day? I'll give you my best day: May 9, Pirates, Citi Field, I come up in the bottom of the ninth and drive in the winning run off Jason Grilli, whose ass is getting kissed all over this postseason. Remember when the Mets were supposed to beat the Pirates? That might have been the last time and I did it -- me, Mike Baxter! It was my second walkoff hit of the week, but the first one was almost besides the point of the game it won, so I'm going with this one. Now I'm taking my goddamn Jay Horwitz bobblehead and...aw, c'mon, who took my Jay? You guys suck. John Buck is probably supposed to go next, though he might be busy being in actual playoffs and all.

Hi, I'm longtime Mets PR director Jay Horwitz. Just to help you 2013 Mets out, I thought I'd provide an alphabetical listing of you guys if that's what you're going for here. David Aardsma Rick Ankiel Scott Atchison Mike Baxter Vic Black Andrew Brown John Buck Greg Burke Marlon Byrd Tim Byrdak Robert Carson Juan Centeno Collin Cowgill Travis d'Arnaud Ike Davis Matt den Dekker Lucas Duda Josh Edgin Jeurys Familia Pedro Feliciano Wilmer Flores Frank Francisco Dillon Gee Gonzalez Germen Aaron Harang Matt Harvey LaTroy Hawkins Jeremy Hefner Sean Henn Aaron Laffey Juan Lagares Zach Lutz Brandon Lyon Shaun Marcum Daisuke Matsuzaka Collin McHugh Jennry Mejia Daniel Murphy Jonathon Niese Kirk Nieuwenhuis Bobby Parnell Omar Quintanilla Anthony Recker Scott Rice Josh Satin Ruben Tejada Carlos Torres Wilfredo Tovar Justin Turner Jordany Valdespin Zack Wheeler David Wright Eric Young Nobody asked me, but my best day of 2013 was August 23, when I got my own bobblehead. It was Dice-K's debut and he sucked but c'mon...my own bobblehead! Not quite anatomically correct in the sense that the head was proportional to the body, but still, pretty good for the PR guy.

Larry Stahl has been sent in to pinch-hit for other, more high-profile Cincinnati Reds to bear the standard of the first postseason eliminatee in 2013's non-championship parade. The Redlegs skedaddled from championship consideration on October 1 as they fell in the National League's Wild Card game.

Saw Russo at Citi Field the day Wheeler made his home debut, just a regular guy with pretty good field level seats. Guess he came to see the pitching prospect his team gave up. Mets lost, 13-2, so he didn't see much out of Zack.

Russo's former partner has bigger issues on his plate. [youtube:up773p80]ptPBCSsPJR4[/youtube:up773p80]

Carl Willey was coming off about as good a season as a pitcher could have for the 1963 Mets, 9-14 with a 3.10 ERA, and was enjoying a marvelous spring in �64 (26 consecutive scoreless innings) when a line drive off the bat of Brown, then a relatively obscure second-year man, broke his jaw. There, in essence, went Willey�s career. He�d be out �til June, yet would not be forgotten by the likes of us. Recalled Jerry Mitchell in his outstanding early history, The Amazing Mets: There must have been Mets fans at Yankee Stadium one midsummer afternoon when Detroit was the visiting club. When Gates Brown, a total stranger, was introduced as a pinch-hitter, Met banners were waved and Brown was lustily booed.

Jon Matlack is the lone Texas Ranger representing the lone team that needed an extra regular-season day to join the 2013 non-championship parade. The Rangers were eliminated from championship consideration on September 30.

The manager, beginning his fourth season at the helm of your New York Mets, Terry Collins.

Press conference tomorrow at noon. Assuming it's for this, not the picking up of Francisco's option.

Oh, and superclassy move by Terry jogging out to CF pregame and acknowledging the 7 Line fans who filled the Big Apple seats. Not a huge fan of the mgr, but he pulls one out of his hat now and again. Way to go.

I picked 33 wins for the second half, which I thought left them at my preseason prediction of 73-89, but they have 41 wins right now (I thought it was 40), so I was off by one. Anyway, 33-38 over their final 71 sounds reasonable given the lineup flux, regressions to the mean and, most importantly, the kind of pitching that should prevent utter second-half collapse. Might be enough to save Terry, which I'm not thrilled about, but if he earns it, he earns it. 33 wins in the second half. Got the Mets...well, third place, I guess. But a bit of a sham for the SHaMs. Congrats to DocTee and MFS for nailing the 74-88 overall record. Congrats to the Mets for not going out with four losses in a row. Congrats to Mike Piazza, New York Mets Hall of Famer. Maybe the only speech in which an honoree said solemnly he's keeping the team honoring him in his prayers. He also semi-literally buried Nelson Doubleday, whom he thanked while referring to him as "no longer with us." I guess he meant with the Mets, but it sounded far graver.

Riding a one-game winning streak, don't want to lose our momentum now. LET'S!