Division Rivals 2014: The Philadelphia Phillies

[Edgy MD]

Hi, we're the Phillies, and here's some brotherly love for you.

[Frayed Knot]

Cole Hamels and his self-described "dead arm" looking increasing UNlikely for availability in the month of April.

[Ceetar]

http://deadspin.com/somethings-going-on-between-ryne-sandberg-and-jimmy-ro-1542994018

Rollins and Sandberg already don't like each other. FeUD!

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Wow.

Hell, punish him Ryno by sending him to us.

[Edgy MD]

I thought everybody liked Rollins.

I think

"The biggest thing, I like his energy and his positive influence that he sets out there. He's a positive influence on everybody around him."

Is code for saying Galvis' locker is PED Central.

[Frayed Knot]

FIGHT! FIGHT!!

After having good ol' Charlie there for so long the swap to a first-time, gung-ho-type manager has to be a real change for the Phils (even though I never really saw Sandberg as the real gung-ho type of player). Especially so seeing as how they're such a veteran squad -- and by 'veteran' I mean 'really old'.

[Guest John Cougar Lunchbucket]

Srsly, Rollins would be a Great Fit for the Mets.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

GREAT fit. Plus, it would give him a bunch more chances to apologize for stealing SugarPants' MVP award in '07.

[Guest LeiterWagnerFasterStrongr]

CitiField Brandon and his angels seem amiable enough, and expanding the Mr. Met Dash is wonderful, but the Phils' kiddie-reachout people are just playing a different game.



I'm still looking for a picture of the kid or kids who subbed as the Phanatic.

[Edgy MD]

This isn't how it was supposed to turn out, Wild Thing.

[Frayed Knot]

Ryne benches Ryan -- Phils benched Ryan Howard - only for one game so far but with phrases coming from Sandberg like; 'it's all about putting the best team out there' and rumors that Phils mgmt are contemplating releasing Howard this winter even if it means eating the remaining (are you sitting down for this?) $60 million left on his deal (salaries for 2015 + 2016 + buyout), it sounds like this could become a semi-regular occurrence over the final 60-some games.
Howard is MLB's highest paid position player this year.


The Phils also made a series of smaller moves based mostly around re-activating Cliff Lee off the DL for his first action since May.
Among those moves was the DFA Tony Gwynn Jr. Talk about a bad month for TGJ.

[Edgy MD]

Phillies also have coughed up two Papebon-protected wins in as many days. I appreciate their commitment to last place, but we need them to help us pick off teams ahead of us over the next six weeks.

With regards to Papelbon, I stumbled across an online dude recently who demanded the Mets show they're serious by acquiring a "proven closer." I felt an urge to strangle the internet.

[Edgy MD]

Oh, dearest.

[fimg=600:1nhd7isy]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BxinjJsIMAAurlT.jpg:large[/fimg:1nhd7isy]

[Lefty Specialist]

Should have been four spaces, not three.

Glad they've got him and not us.

[Frayed Knot]

The odd thing about that incident is that Ump Joe West took offense at it (even though it was clearly NOT directed at him) and both threw Papelbon out of a game he was clearly not coming back to anyway (seeing as how he had already coughed up 4 runs trying to protect a 3 run lead) and then physically restrained him when he came back on the field to argue about it.

Both parties offered up lame excuses in the immediate aftermath. Papelbon played the 'I was merely adjusting myself' card, while West says he was trying to get back out to his position for the next half inning and that Papelbon was blocking him from doing so, which I guess means the only remaining choice was to grab the reliever by the shirt and shove him aside.

I think both may be a bit lighter in the wallet by the time the dust settles on this one.

[Edgy MD]

Seven games for Papelbon.

That's a big hit for lewdness.