The Onion

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Americans Wondering What They Did To Deserve This Much Joe Buck
January 18, 2007 | Issue 43�03

NEW YORK�According to sports fans across America, the near-ubiquitous presence of play-by-play broadcaster, pregame reporter, and post-game analyst Joe Buck has begun to make them consider if they are being punished for something. "In this life, it's only natural to have to endure a certain amount of Joe Buck, but lately I've been inundated with this pervading informant to the point that I can't get his goddamn buttery-smooth voice out of my head," said avid football viewer and casual baseball fan Thomas Lenz. "I mean, I'm a grown man and can tune it out, but I have a 10-year-old son being who has to live through this. It's just not fair." Joe Buck was unavailable for comment, as he was doing a Borat impression on the set of his latest Fox Sports commercial.