Freaks of the Mets' System

[Guest Johnny Dickshot]

John Holdzkom. Drafted in the 4th round last year, currently in xtended spring training as per edc's list, this gigantic stupid discipline case put up the following line at Gulf Coast last summer:

2-5, 7.71 ERA, 23.1 IP, 28 H, 20 BB, 23 K.

Now that's excitement! I couldn't find a photo of him but IIRC, he looks like Charley Kerfeld on heroin. Spomeone adopt this guy... NOW!!!!

]Among the most signable players in the state is 6-foot-7, 230-pound RHP John Holdzkom, who was academically ineligible to play for his high school team until late April. Even when he was reinstated, he pitched sparingly because of issues with his coach and control problems. In his first game back, he gave up nine runs in two innings while hitting three batters and making three wild pitches. Much like his brother Lincoln, who also came with makeup questions when he signed with the Marlins as a seventh-round pick in 2001, he has considerable upside. He has touched 93-94 in limited outings and workouts, and scouts believe there is more in there. A team will have to believe in its player-development department to warrant taking him in the first 10 rounds.

[Guest Edgy DC]

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

[Guest Edgy DC]

OK, I'll ask. Are those actually his hams or are his pants really loose?

Secondly, a lot is going into that signature. See how the swirls of the l and the d intersect to form the image of a baseball? The d also has a flag on top to make it look like a musical note.

Then you see the underscore intersect with the dropped upright from the H and you get sort of a Satanic chill.

[metirish]

Excellent observations on the signature ,looks to me like a sig that was the product of hours of practice,like Dale Earnhardt's,I bet this fella likes the spread after the game....

[RealityChuck]

Edgy DC wrote: Secondly, a lot is going into that signature. See how the swrils of the l and the d intersect to form the image of a baseball? The d also has a flag on top to make it look like a musical note..

It's just like those teenaged girls who practice their signature over and over.

[soupcan]

I cut school in junior high to go to Macy's on 34th street because Johnny Bench was signing copies of his autobiography 'Catch You Later'.

In the book he wrote about how he practiced his signature when he was a kid in case he became a famous baseball player.

He signed my book To Nick - Catch Ya Later, Johnny Bench

It's a great signature, the one below doesn't do it justice but you get the idea.



After I read that in the book, I started practicing mine just in case, well, you know..

[smg58]

So basically this guy's Napoleon Dynamite without the dance moves.